You can stand under my umbrella.
You have my heart. I took an oath, and I'm going to stick it out untill the end.
This is the hardest thing for me to do in my entire life, I have to choose. The thing I promised myself I would NEVER do. It's my best friend and my boyfriend, or the only person I completely trust. I trust my best friend, but somehow people always end up finding out some things I tell her. I trust my boyfriend in the aspect that I know he wont cheat or anything but he was a HUGE mouth, and I know he doesn't mean to tell people everything.... he just gets upset and spills his guts.
I feel like I'm being torn in two different directions and I'm not so sure which to pick. I love my best friend and I love the person I come to for anything. It's so incredibly difficault to understand...let alone have a good head on my shoulders while doing it.
I am horribly depressed without my bestie. But I know it will be the same if I let him go. It shouldn't matter if anything has happend in the past, feelings are not what matters here. What matters is who is the best friend, and I cannot chose. It's like asking me to stop breathing. I feel like I'm already dead. "This to shall pass..." as much as I know that is a true statement I don't feel it at the moment. It's like I finally got over that fact that we will never be an "us" ever again, and I'm okay with that....and now people want me to let go entirely. It's hard to let someone go whos been part of your life for 3 years. We're pretty good friends now, and now they want it gone. I feel like I have another fucking mother. I can't handle this....and my best friend doesn't understand my point. My boyfriend doesn't care about my point, and I'm caught in the middle. WHATTHEFUCK. I never wanted this day to happen, but I knew that it would. The day that I would have to chose someone over someone else. I have avoided it all my life, and I guess in a way I always have chose this person over everyone else, so why should it change??
If you love someone, than you love them for the good and the bad. For what hurts you, or makes you angry. You love them no matter if they have addictions or problems. You love them for exactly who they are...so if you're going to tell me that you love me perhaps you should practice love before you slaughter it. Don't fucking tell me things that you don't mean, or don't know why you're saying them. Don't tell me you love me when you can't handle me having a friend. Don't even fucking go there. I am picking. I am picking everyone.
If you can't handle that than you can LEAVE me in the dust, but for the record I never kicked you out of my life. I never said "leave me" I always had open arms. I never picked anyone over you. I am here for you. I love you and charish you in every way I know how. I don't want anyone to leave, I wish you could all get along. I don't put one of you over the other one. You three are all equal. Each one means something different to me. I really hope this turns out for the best.
I hate this.
I hate this.
I hate this.
You can run into my arms, it's okay don't be alarmed.
When the sun shines, we'll shine together.
This is the hardest thing for me to do in my entire life, I have to choose. The thing I promised myself I would NEVER do. It's my best friend and my boyfriend, or the only person I completely trust. I trust my best friend, but somehow people always end up finding out some things I tell her. I trust my boyfriend in the aspect that I know he wont cheat or anything but he was a HUGE mouth, and I know he doesn't mean to tell people everything.... he just gets upset and spills his guts.
I feel like I'm being torn in two different directions and I'm not so sure which to pick. I love my best friend and I love the person I come to for anything. It's so incredibly difficault to understand...let alone have a good head on my shoulders while doing it.
I am horribly depressed without my bestie. But I know it will be the same if I let him go. It shouldn't matter if anything has happend in the past, feelings are not what matters here. What matters is who is the best friend, and I cannot chose. It's like asking me to stop breathing. I feel like I'm already dead. "This to shall pass..." as much as I know that is a true statement I don't feel it at the moment. It's like I finally got over that fact that we will never be an "us" ever again, and I'm okay with that....and now people want me to let go entirely. It's hard to let someone go whos been part of your life for 3 years. We're pretty good friends now, and now they want it gone. I feel like I have another fucking mother. I can't handle this....and my best friend doesn't understand my point. My boyfriend doesn't care about my point, and I'm caught in the middle. WHATTHEFUCK. I never wanted this day to happen, but I knew that it would. The day that I would have to chose someone over someone else. I have avoided it all my life, and I guess in a way I always have chose this person over everyone else, so why should it change??
If you love someone, than you love them for the good and the bad. For what hurts you, or makes you angry. You love them no matter if they have addictions or problems. You love them for exactly who they are...so if you're going to tell me that you love me perhaps you should practice love before you slaughter it. Don't fucking tell me things that you don't mean, or don't know why you're saying them. Don't tell me you love me when you can't handle me having a friend. Don't even fucking go there. I am picking. I am picking everyone.
If you can't handle that than you can LEAVE me in the dust, but for the record I never kicked you out of my life. I never said "leave me" I always had open arms. I never picked anyone over you. I am here for you. I love you and charish you in every way I know how. I don't want anyone to leave, I wish you could all get along. I don't put one of you over the other one. You three are all equal. Each one means something different to me. I really hope this turns out for the best.
I hate this.
I hate this.
I hate this.
You can run into my arms, it's okay don't be alarmed.
When the sun shines, we'll shine together.