So, my thoughts have been spinning merrily amidst what could be a spiraling episode of... Oh, fuck, probably everything at once. After I had a chat with three doctors about the consequences of stress-related memory loss, I quietly decided to start a private mindfulness therapy, which I have only been sharing with the psychologist, for advice, while ( Read more... )

If you are with me in person, and I suddenly yell out and fall to my hands and knees and scream, do not be alarmed. Gently help me stand and help me to a soft place to recline. I may be unable to speak properly, and I may be unable to remember certain things. I may lick or bite my lips, I may scratch myself or pull my hair or vocalize oddly. Take ( Read more... )

Well, I find myself in a sudden, abrupt, creepy Charybdis tunnel of depression with panic, a violent episode that is making me want to rip my skin off... which means that the fibromyalgia, hypersensitivity, synesthesia, and sensory processing disorder have jumped into the fray. I know the world is not ending. I know the world is not ending. I know ( Read more... )

Also, we went to the Ranger Surplus in Bethesda. After a long conversation with an employee about cerebral palsy, I wound up with a pair of Army boots that should help stabilize me well enough. And now the employee knows to suggest such boots to people with certain disabilities. I feel as if I made a friend and helped some sort of cause ( Read more... )

I see color everywhere. I taste color everywhere. I hear, sense, feel, and connect with color. I cannot imagine a world, any world, without color, even in my dreams, even without my eyes. I speak in color. Everything I touch makes me explode in color ( Read more... )

Now I am craving a bottle of pure unsweetened liquid acai berryI had a seizure today, triggered by a migraine, a seizure which rode through the migraine and intensified the migraine and for a while I wanted to rip my head apart. It is getting better. I felt as though I had been tripping for a good ten minutes, and not necessarily the good sort of ( Read more... )

But... I don't want arthritis and tendinitis in my knees ( Read more... )

Hm ( Read more... )

My most recent synesthetic experiences have led me to believe that my taste sensations are becoming ghosts compared to the cross-linking of color, sound, texture, and emotion. Color and music are still deeply intertwined, but they don't taste much anymore: now it's all about texture, personality, feeling, emotion. The colors of dark red, cobalt ( Read more... )

I've ordered a bunch of stuff from http://www.walk-in-beauty.net, but I think my favorite product is the Harmony Elixir Spray. I got a 2.5 oz spray and customized it with "Other Essential Oils By Request." I asked Vicki to blend the scents of Wild Rose, Orchid, and Chamomile Neroli. And ( Read more... )