Balancing self, half the seeds Part Two

[brightlotusmoon]

I am super proud of myself for moving forwards on my private therapy routine. It is probably not going to show externally for at least a few more weeks. But I remember that secret promise to myself that I wrote on a hidden dark place. I think it will come true. I think soon my head will start filling in cracks that have been growing for a few years. I could call it healing. I am wary of - and also weary from - the word healing. People who really think some disabilities could be healed without needing to re-damage and reconnect the brain itself. I don't want to be some other person. They just want me to be like them.
It can't be healed. Only I can soothe its own pain and any pain it give, only from the inside. I don't want to look at the surgeon's tools.I find my own ways, so it will not be the healing you assume.