Balancing self, half the seeds.
My favorite author, Seanan McGuire, posted my favorite short story yet from her collection of the Velveteen stories. Go buy her books!
http://seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com/619285.html
So, in thinking about one of my dearest matron goddesses, Persephone, I saw a bunch of stuff from my Facebook friends celebrating the true story of how she actually went with Hades willingly, in curiosity. And I am really thrilled. We need to spread the true story far.
Even my Facebook profile photo celebrates the love between the two. The photo is an altered version of my LiveJournal profile photo.
Tuatha Cait Sidhe Mix
****
Experimenting. Because color is art. Surrealist art fun yay. Psionic Feline Time Lady is made of faded existence, existentialist eclectic paganism, and stars. Always stars.
"In the best known version of the Greek myth, Persephone is dragged down into the underworld by Hades, whose title is 'Pluto.' But in earlier, pre-patriarchal tales, she descends there under her own power, actively seeking to graduate from her virginal naïveté by exploring the intriguing land of shadows. 'Pluto' is derived from the Greek word plutus, meaning 'wealth.' Psychologist James Hillman says this refers to the psyche-building riches available in Pluto's domain. Hades, he says, is the 'giver of nourishment to the soul.'" - Rob Brezsny
"I am channeling my matron goddess Persephone today. In the original myth, she chose to descend into the world of Hades in order to gain knowledge of the shadows. Hades had a power to nourish the soul, which patriarchal translations misinterpreted. There was no abduction. There was no assault. I always sensed something beyond the stories.
In my own Joanna way, I see Persephone as brightness and Hades as darkness. The lotus and the moon. Mage of light and mage of dark.
The story of Persephone and Hades is probably one of the most misunderstood, misrepresented, and mistaken relationships in mythology. I have never been so relieved to see my suspicions confirmed."
I am still obsessed over the original myth of Persephone and Hades - how she so willingly and deliberately descended into the shadows, how Hades in fact was nourishment for souls. I grew up knowing that Persephone was one of my goddesses but I didn't like the patriarchal story. How wonderful and relieving to know that there never was a kidnapping. The more I meditate on my connection with their relationship, the more I feel powerful, relieved, relaxed, and free. I may one day figure out enough lucid dreaming to really communicate with the part of the gods that resides in my Higher Brain and Subconscious mix. You know, the Quantum Psychic Consciousness.
Oh. I'm professoring again. Cough.
In conclusion, polytheism is awesome and if you can connect to the deities that call you, it can be enlightening.
**
Turquoise tint
Blue wash tint.
I am still the Snow White Fae Warrior with Unicorn's Spiritual Healing, and Dragon's Supreme Vitality, and Tiger's Sensuality, and Tortoise's Content Wisdom, and Wolf's Instinct and Freedom, and Raven's Magic Mystique, and Fox's Perceptiveness, and Butterfly's Transformations, and Bear's Strength, and Phoenix's Eternal Renewal.
I rarely feel any of this. This is why I write and create characters who embody those totems. I am shy, introverted, withdrawn, afraid, nervous, anxious, awkward, inept, stumbling, weak, quiet to a fault, full of so much love that I never know what to do.
My spiritual parts are made of Magic and Quantum Theory and Multiversal Synchronicity and Polytheistic Agnosticism and Subconscious Psychic Higher Brain Functionality. And disability. And understanding the unique intricacies of whole brain disabilities that are my person.
I will never know who I am. I will always love finding out over and over.
****
Persephone. Proserpine. Hecate. Hekate. Goddess. Mentor. Teacher. Master.
Seasons. Equinoxes. Sabbats. Wheels.Veils. Minds. Gateways. Crossroads. Magic. Quantum. Cosmos.
Indigo. Red. Gold. Silver. Amber. Copper. Crystal.
White. Black. Nothing. Everything. Order. Chaos.
Nature. Flowers. Fruits. Plants. Seeds. Water. Rivers.
Dark. Light. Sky. Earth. Day. Night. Life. Growth.
Otherworld. Afterworld. Spirituality. Science. Electromagnetism. Psychic Energy. Elements.
Love. Beauty. Knowledge. Understanding. Acceptance.
Companion. Queen. Lady. Lover. Partner. Power.
Interpretation. Choice. Freedom. Questions. Answers. Studies. Always.
Magic. Supernatural. Paranormal. Parasychology. Psychology. Biology. Neurology. Neuroscience. Neurodivergence. Physiology. Physics. Experiments.
Art. Craft. Need. Desire. Reseach. Belief. Faith. Truth. Fact. Fiction. Mentality. Hemispheres. Universes.
The colors of magic. The art of magic. The science of magic. The study of everything. Synesthesia. The scents of magic. The transdimensional pathways.
Above. Below. Beyond. Between. Parallel. Fringe. Outside. Within. Synchronicity. Serendipity. Collective.
Humanity. Soul. Consciousness. Exploration. Subjectiveness. Objectiveness. Beholder. Eyes. Dreams. To meet. To feel. To know. To be.
You are you. Let go.
Be you.
Explore.
***
(Photo taken via Samsung Galaxy S4. Color, Brightness, Portrait effects edited by Samsung Galaxy S4 Photo Editing.)
I have become comfortably peaceful. Comfortably tranquil. Comfortably serene. Meditation and zen stretching, aka my own personal modified version of what people think of as yoga, is a daily routine, and while it doesn't always give me what I want, it gives me what I need.
I've gone through so many small, intense changes in a short amount of time that on the outside it almost looks like nothing. It is massive, really. I take pride in all my neurodivergent disability even as misguided and misinformed but well-meaning people throw so-called curing treaments at me like candy. It's all right. I know who I am. I know what I need. I know what I want.
I'm still the unicorn, the dragon, the phoenix, the tortoise. I will remain magical, intense, everlasting, steadfast.
I will always struggle will low self-esteem, poor confidence, extreme fear, wild anxiety, major depression, social phobia, shyness, extreme introversion, inability to express my best thoughts properly. It does define me, no matter what anyone says.
Like the Four Magical Creatures, I will rise and heal every time I am struck down. I have long abandoned The Spoon Theory in favor of The Spear Theory, invented during a discussion with a friend. I will never run out of spear stockpiles, just as I will never run out of pain monsters to fight.
I refuse to say that I just need Positive Thinking to help myself heal. My own kind of negative thinking is not harmful. It's like the other side of a photograph. It shows flaws and spots I need to work with. Even the immortal Fae, the eternal gods, the most powerful of mythologies, and the ancient cosmic forces are deeply flawed and must face negativity with positivity as a yin yang balance.
***
Not even hyperbole, but ever since I was a child, psychically sensitive people have dubbed me "Little Fae" and "Shiny Child" and "Natural Quantum Healer" (it took me a couple of decades to figure out that one). Even now in my third decade, I'm not certain what it means, but I enjoy figuring it out.
I mention that most self photos I take tend to give me a fascinating Fae-like glow, an inner radiance extending outward. A friend replied: "Your body keeps trying to kick-start its regeneration, like the Timey-Wimey Time Lady you are!"
Yay, geeks!
In various incarnations, she is Ruby Moon Fae, Snow White Rose, Snow Ruby White, The Rose Lotus Elf Warrior, The Bright Lotus Faery, The Lotus Moonlight Witch, The Bright Rose Lotus Faery.
What happens when a witch becomes zen.
Fire, water, air, earth, spirit, energy, love. Light and dark, gentle and rough, soft and hard, strong and weak.
Power is everywhere.
The world of the Fae is a world in which I tread lightly. There are sentient entities older than time, and awareness is everything.
Dragon hearts are as dragon hearts do.
There is a phoenix in there. I have a phoenix in my soul. I always have. The phoenix and the dragon get along beautifully. They are both me, after all. I rise up after every battle and I keep going because that is how it is.
Ruby Snow Red White, the cloned daughter of ancient Snow White and ancient Red Riding Hood, including the huntsmen and the wolves.
A dragon princess warrior librarian empathic clairvoyant with many masks, a preference for shiny gems, the power to speak to feral books and to speak the language of every Story, and a transdimensional travel enthusiast. Born outside of time, on the edges of snowfall and sunshine, between the seasonal chimes of winter and spring, gifted and cursed with several disabling injuries to mind and body that serve as power sources. A fierce amalgam cousin to both the unicorn and the white tiger, a peaceful dragon child who breathes Story Fire, who gained wisdom from the eternal tortoise and the secrets of life from the everlasting phoenix. She prefers solitude and stories repeated, and because she pulls her permanent wounds around her as shields, must be approached with soft, sweet, gentle love. Prepare to be enlightened, filled with the fires of Knowledge and Story and Fact and Fiction. Avoid deliberately provoking the dragon warrior phoenix princess librarian with certain offensives. Her claws are always polished and she is proficient with spears and daggers. She may need eyeglasses to see, but she sees worlds beyond worlds in many ways.
I am a dreamer, a starry-eyed storyteller, a mage barely in touch with reality, a keeper of ancient living books and powerful secrets, a born writer, a born library keeper destined to protect the magical sections and help customers understand the most intense occult tomes.
My lips are blood, rose, and berry red, my skin is ivory. cream, and silk, my hair is mocha, bronze, and chestnut earth.
I change and evolve quietly, subtly, in ways very few people see. The flaws and scars I see in myself must be concealed to appease my mental disorders, but I can work with them. My swords and spears are tipped with diamond and contain copper and amber and tourmaline, because I imagine them that way. I never believed I was a warrior, until my loved ones needed me to be one.
I believe in gemstones. I believe in lepidolite, charoite, fluorite, kyanite, labradorite, tourmaline, amber, sodalite, seraphinite, amazonite, clear quartz, diamond, copper.
I have been called a Mediterranean Eastern European Dragon Princess Fae Soldier. I have been called A Bright One, a Beacon, a Soul Healer, someone who creates universes in my mind, someone who can ease stress simply by physical proximity. I still do not know exactly who I am. But I am proud to be all those things.
Makeup:
The All Natural Face Cream Foundation in Porcelain Kissed By Honey; Urban Decay Naked Skin Foundation in Shade 2.0.
It Cosmetics Vitality Butter Lip Gloss in Ruby Slippers; It Cosmetics Vitality Flush Lipstick in Pretty Woman; Urban Decay Revolution Lipstick in F-Bomb.
Urban Decay Eyeshadow in YDK; Maui Wowie
It Cosmetics Hello Lashes Mascara, also applied as smudged eyeliner.
****
http://seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com/619285.html
So, in thinking about one of my dearest matron goddesses, Persephone, I saw a bunch of stuff from my Facebook friends celebrating the true story of how she actually went with Hades willingly, in curiosity. And I am really thrilled. We need to spread the true story far.
Even my Facebook profile photo celebrates the love between the two. The photo is an altered version of my LiveJournal profile photo.
Tuatha Cait Sidhe Mix
****
Experimenting. Because color is art. Surrealist art fun yay. Psionic Feline Time Lady is made of faded existence, existentialist eclectic paganism, and stars. Always stars.
"In the best known version of the Greek myth, Persephone is dragged down into the underworld by Hades, whose title is 'Pluto.' But in earlier, pre-patriarchal tales, she descends there under her own power, actively seeking to graduate from her virginal naïveté by exploring the intriguing land of shadows. 'Pluto' is derived from the Greek word plutus, meaning 'wealth.' Psychologist James Hillman says this refers to the psyche-building riches available in Pluto's domain. Hades, he says, is the 'giver of nourishment to the soul.'" - Rob Brezsny
"I am channeling my matron goddess Persephone today. In the original myth, she chose to descend into the world of Hades in order to gain knowledge of the shadows. Hades had a power to nourish the soul, which patriarchal translations misinterpreted. There was no abduction. There was no assault. I always sensed something beyond the stories.
In my own Joanna way, I see Persephone as brightness and Hades as darkness. The lotus and the moon. Mage of light and mage of dark.
The story of Persephone and Hades is probably one of the most misunderstood, misrepresented, and mistaken relationships in mythology. I have never been so relieved to see my suspicions confirmed."
I am still obsessed over the original myth of Persephone and Hades - how she so willingly and deliberately descended into the shadows, how Hades in fact was nourishment for souls. I grew up knowing that Persephone was one of my goddesses but I didn't like the patriarchal story. How wonderful and relieving to know that there never was a kidnapping. The more I meditate on my connection with their relationship, the more I feel powerful, relieved, relaxed, and free. I may one day figure out enough lucid dreaming to really communicate with the part of the gods that resides in my Higher Brain and Subconscious mix. You know, the Quantum Psychic Consciousness.
Oh. I'm professoring again. Cough.
In conclusion, polytheism is awesome and if you can connect to the deities that call you, it can be enlightening.
**
Turquoise tint
Blue wash tint.
I am still the Snow White Fae Warrior with Unicorn's Spiritual Healing, and Dragon's Supreme Vitality, and Tiger's Sensuality, and Tortoise's Content Wisdom, and Wolf's Instinct and Freedom, and Raven's Magic Mystique, and Fox's Perceptiveness, and Butterfly's Transformations, and Bear's Strength, and Phoenix's Eternal Renewal.
I rarely feel any of this. This is why I write and create characters who embody those totems. I am shy, introverted, withdrawn, afraid, nervous, anxious, awkward, inept, stumbling, weak, quiet to a fault, full of so much love that I never know what to do.
My spiritual parts are made of Magic and Quantum Theory and Multiversal Synchronicity and Polytheistic Agnosticism and Subconscious Psychic Higher Brain Functionality. And disability. And understanding the unique intricacies of whole brain disabilities that are my person.
I will never know who I am. I will always love finding out over and over.
****
Persephone. Proserpine. Hecate. Hekate. Goddess. Mentor. Teacher. Master.
Seasons. Equinoxes. Sabbats. Wheels.Veils. Minds. Gateways. Crossroads. Magic. Quantum. Cosmos.
Indigo. Red. Gold. Silver. Amber. Copper. Crystal.
White. Black. Nothing. Everything. Order. Chaos.
Nature. Flowers. Fruits. Plants. Seeds. Water. Rivers.
Dark. Light. Sky. Earth. Day. Night. Life. Growth.
Otherworld. Afterworld. Spirituality. Science. Electromagnetism. Psychic Energy. Elements.
Love. Beauty. Knowledge. Understanding. Acceptance.
Companion. Queen. Lady. Lover. Partner. Power.
Interpretation. Choice. Freedom. Questions. Answers. Studies. Always.
Magic. Supernatural. Paranormal. Parasychology. Psychology. Biology. Neurology. Neuroscience. Neurodivergence. Physiology. Physics. Experiments.
Art. Craft. Need. Desire. Reseach. Belief. Faith. Truth. Fact. Fiction. Mentality. Hemispheres. Universes.
The colors of magic. The art of magic. The science of magic. The study of everything. Synesthesia. The scents of magic. The transdimensional pathways.
Above. Below. Beyond. Between. Parallel. Fringe. Outside. Within. Synchronicity. Serendipity. Collective.
Humanity. Soul. Consciousness. Exploration. Subjectiveness. Objectiveness. Beholder. Eyes. Dreams. To meet. To feel. To know. To be.
You are you. Let go.
Be you.
Explore.
***
(Photo taken via Samsung Galaxy S4. Color, Brightness, Portrait effects edited by Samsung Galaxy S4 Photo Editing.)
I have become comfortably peaceful. Comfortably tranquil. Comfortably serene. Meditation and zen stretching, aka my own personal modified version of what people think of as yoga, is a daily routine, and while it doesn't always give me what I want, it gives me what I need.
I've gone through so many small, intense changes in a short amount of time that on the outside it almost looks like nothing. It is massive, really. I take pride in all my neurodivergent disability even as misguided and misinformed but well-meaning people throw so-called curing treaments at me like candy. It's all right. I know who I am. I know what I need. I know what I want.
I'm still the unicorn, the dragon, the phoenix, the tortoise. I will remain magical, intense, everlasting, steadfast.
I will always struggle will low self-esteem, poor confidence, extreme fear, wild anxiety, major depression, social phobia, shyness, extreme introversion, inability to express my best thoughts properly. It does define me, no matter what anyone says.
Like the Four Magical Creatures, I will rise and heal every time I am struck down. I have long abandoned The Spoon Theory in favor of The Spear Theory, invented during a discussion with a friend. I will never run out of spear stockpiles, just as I will never run out of pain monsters to fight.
I refuse to say that I just need Positive Thinking to help myself heal. My own kind of negative thinking is not harmful. It's like the other side of a photograph. It shows flaws and spots I need to work with. Even the immortal Fae, the eternal gods, the most powerful of mythologies, and the ancient cosmic forces are deeply flawed and must face negativity with positivity as a yin yang balance.
***
Not even hyperbole, but ever since I was a child, psychically sensitive people have dubbed me "Little Fae" and "Shiny Child" and "Natural Quantum Healer" (it took me a couple of decades to figure out that one). Even now in my third decade, I'm not certain what it means, but I enjoy figuring it out.
I mention that most self photos I take tend to give me a fascinating Fae-like glow, an inner radiance extending outward. A friend replied: "Your body keeps trying to kick-start its regeneration, like the Timey-Wimey Time Lady you are!"
Yay, geeks!
In various incarnations, she is Ruby Moon Fae, Snow White Rose, Snow Ruby White, The Rose Lotus Elf Warrior, The Bright Lotus Faery, The Lotus Moonlight Witch, The Bright Rose Lotus Faery.
What happens when a witch becomes zen.
Fire, water, air, earth, spirit, energy, love. Light and dark, gentle and rough, soft and hard, strong and weak.
Power is everywhere.
The world of the Fae is a world in which I tread lightly. There are sentient entities older than time, and awareness is everything.
Dragon hearts are as dragon hearts do.
There is a phoenix in there. I have a phoenix in my soul. I always have. The phoenix and the dragon get along beautifully. They are both me, after all. I rise up after every battle and I keep going because that is how it is.
Ruby Snow Red White, the cloned daughter of ancient Snow White and ancient Red Riding Hood, including the huntsmen and the wolves.
A dragon princess warrior librarian empathic clairvoyant with many masks, a preference for shiny gems, the power to speak to feral books and to speak the language of every Story, and a transdimensional travel enthusiast. Born outside of time, on the edges of snowfall and sunshine, between the seasonal chimes of winter and spring, gifted and cursed with several disabling injuries to mind and body that serve as power sources. A fierce amalgam cousin to both the unicorn and the white tiger, a peaceful dragon child who breathes Story Fire, who gained wisdom from the eternal tortoise and the secrets of life from the everlasting phoenix. She prefers solitude and stories repeated, and because she pulls her permanent wounds around her as shields, must be approached with soft, sweet, gentle love. Prepare to be enlightened, filled with the fires of Knowledge and Story and Fact and Fiction. Avoid deliberately provoking the dragon warrior phoenix princess librarian with certain offensives. Her claws are always polished and she is proficient with spears and daggers. She may need eyeglasses to see, but she sees worlds beyond worlds in many ways.
I am a dreamer, a starry-eyed storyteller, a mage barely in touch with reality, a keeper of ancient living books and powerful secrets, a born writer, a born library keeper destined to protect the magical sections and help customers understand the most intense occult tomes.
My lips are blood, rose, and berry red, my skin is ivory. cream, and silk, my hair is mocha, bronze, and chestnut earth.
I change and evolve quietly, subtly, in ways very few people see. The flaws and scars I see in myself must be concealed to appease my mental disorders, but I can work with them. My swords and spears are tipped with diamond and contain copper and amber and tourmaline, because I imagine them that way. I never believed I was a warrior, until my loved ones needed me to be one.
I believe in gemstones. I believe in lepidolite, charoite, fluorite, kyanite, labradorite, tourmaline, amber, sodalite, seraphinite, amazonite, clear quartz, diamond, copper.
I have been called a Mediterranean Eastern European Dragon Princess Fae Soldier. I have been called A Bright One, a Beacon, a Soul Healer, someone who creates universes in my mind, someone who can ease stress simply by physical proximity. I still do not know exactly who I am. But I am proud to be all those things.
Makeup:
The All Natural Face Cream Foundation in Porcelain Kissed By Honey; Urban Decay Naked Skin Foundation in Shade 2.0.
It Cosmetics Vitality Butter Lip Gloss in Ruby Slippers; It Cosmetics Vitality Flush Lipstick in Pretty Woman; Urban Decay Revolution Lipstick in F-Bomb.
Urban Decay Eyeshadow in YDK; Maui Wowie
It Cosmetics Hello Lashes Mascara, also applied as smudged eyeliner.
****