🎶You took your coat off, and stood in the rain; you were always crazy like that.🎶
It's said that when we forget our song, someone we know comes along and sings it back to us, to remind us of who we are. I've had a few singing to me, lately, reminding me of aspects of my past and the fuck ups as well as the triumphs. We who were Suns, our dear Sunflowers, and other friends and neighbors who continue to hold on to those connections that bring memories flooding back to the surface and enlighten the soul in new and different ways of thinking, growing, believing and acting along life's course we each travel.
🎶And I watched from my window
Always felt I was outside looking in on you 🎶
With some of the shifts happening among the friends I grew up with, and more of them stepping back into the photosphere of that brilliant glow, the core group of us talked it over as we were wrapping up things at the cabin as we'd celebrated a bunch of our birthdays together and decided to do a larger get-together closer to the holidays that are now fast approaching. So, word went out, and some of them are already showing up a bit earlier than expected so they can get in a longer (more personal) visit with those of us they grew up with. A couple of them (the twins of our group - Eric and Ian - will be arriving soon, and also other friends Geon and Joun, and more of the Sunflowers - so I'm told - as well.
Namfi, (while only having been my neighbor friend as kids) as well as others who have grown up here with others of the Keen Suns as friends not involved with our little gang are also being invited to the Friendsgiving event. It should be interesting. And both Rahni and Namfi are talking with me about it extensively, bouncing ideas and menu options, and focusing on decorating of the space that has already been rented. Rahni (the more outgoing of the two) is showing herself to be that open soul, and though a touch quiet or shy at first, still striving to be friendly like I remember from our childhood. Namfon, however, is so demure and shy she seems timid or afraid to speak. Still, she is trying, and I am happy to encourage that; Rahni sees it in a similar way, and is following my example from what I am seeing; so I let them plot and plan and merely give a little input when it might conflict with someone's needs. They both give me a sigh now and then, "I asked you for your opinion. Don't merely say 'If you think so'." And I'm called an exasperating man a lot, right now. That just makes me grin.
🎶You're always the mysterious one with
Dark eyes and careless hair
You were fashionably sensitive
But too cool to care
You stood in my doorway, with nothing to say
Besides some comment on the weather🎶
I learned a long time ago that you work to shift and steer ideas more subtly, when someone wants your opinion, they actually don't, they want assurance and confirmation that you are going to go along with what they want. That's how I grew up, that's how the Keen Suns have operated, and the high schoolers, and the college friends, and others throughout my adulthood. Giving my opinion isn't going to do anything more than get me into trouble. But I can take their idea and bring it to fruition with alteration, work-around, augmentation and winging it when The Plan doesn't work as expected. That's my real forte, when you get down to it: troubleshooting, and why Tua and the others loved having me do the tougher - even more dangerous - tasks with them when we were young.
🎶You'd teach me of honest things
Things that were daring, things that were clean
Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean
I hid my soiled hands behind my back
Somewhere along the line, I must've gone off track with you🎶
So, I merely dredge up old information, ask questions where new information needs to be added or changed, and mentally work on my list based off priorities of importance for what needs done. I'm the utility player, the one that ad libs and improvises and finds the alternatives, and I actually like that. But the one thing that's harder about being that type is that you are someone who does so much alone, asking for help typically gets people at odds with you or one another because it's going against what they expected (or are expecting) and deviates from the established Plan. And as frustrations are voiced and tempers rise because someone's ego gets bruised, you realize it's simply faster to do it as it needs to be done and let them keep fighting while you make it work. And that's why I say, "Fuck it!" and have a nonchalant attitude so often.
🎶Excuse me, think I've mistaken you for somebody else
Somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself
These foolish games are tearing me
You're tearing me, you're tearing me apart
And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart🎶
With the first of the guests on his way, this morning, my first task begins. And I'm already being hammered with the panic from those who's plans are going down in flames. So now it's time to take my coat off, dance in the rain, and show them how magical life is when you let those drops wash away all the superfluous bullshit and extraneous egotistical issues that are starting to rear their heads. Namfi and Rahni at least know they can trust me, and that helps keep them calm compared to the others who have been working on their variation of The Plan, too.
Let the rain kiss you
Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops
Let the rain sing you a lullaby...
Excuse me, I've got work to do for the ones I love.