Pants are only a barrier to my Enlightenment.
So this is my life, it would seem: spending all morning at work trying not to strangle my boss, and all afternoon counting down the hours until I get to go the fuck home. Sound familiar? I'm sure I'm one of about 216 million people (oh, wait, strike that: 1,524,014 people!!! Take THAT, Very Stupid Education Writer!) who spends every last minute at work doing the same thing.
But it's just not good enough for me anymore. I am very, oh so very painfully ready for a change. In fact, I've got my eye on another position within the company that would be much more suited to my particular talents (read: not a job that a rather well-trained monkey could do) and, even better AWAY FROM THE EVILLY DISMISSIVE MONSTER I CALL 'MASTER.' The hub and I would be in the same office, no less. Pray to the pink unicorns that at some point in the near future, the disastrously disorganized pudding-for-brains woman who currently holds this job will be handing it over to me me me!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed. And my toes. And even my PANTSFREE LEGS crossed. (That was my non-loquacious way of telling you that I'm feeling pretty motherfucking fancy-free in my ever-so-professional-pretending office with my Ecko gangbanger shorts and no shoes. P.F.F!)
Anyway, quarter-life crises aside for a minute, partly because it's really the sort of topic that we all already talk and read to death anyway... I've been wondering about something. Me and You, my good buddy ElJay (you are all one collective person in my head, I think... one very prolific and hilarious and busy person at that) talk about all sorts of shit. Except for one thing. One thing that everyone has some very strong belief one way or another about, and is either not afraid to cram it down your throat at the merest sign of interest or conversely hold so dear to their personhood that you can live a whole lifetime waking up next to them and never know how they really feel about it.
Religion.
(You thought I was going to say soup, didn't you!? I nearly did.)
So I ask you, dear multi-celled organisms that make up the giant wicker-colossus I call My Pal ElJay: what do you believe? Or don't believe? Or if you are of the holding-your-cards-to-the-chest-so-closely-that-your-neighbors-will-say-they-never-saw-it-coming type, why won't you be telling me?? I'm intensely curious, people (being a religion major in college, I've had plenty of time already to indulge this curiosity, but STILL.). You can reply privately by email if you'd rather. But do share if you're so inclined, because we're all bros here. No worries. Oh, and not THIS KIND of bro, I promise.
But it's just not good enough for me anymore. I am very, oh so very painfully ready for a change. In fact, I've got my eye on another position within the company that would be much more suited to my particular talents (read: not a job that a rather well-trained monkey could do) and, even better AWAY FROM THE EVILLY DISMISSIVE MONSTER I CALL 'MASTER.' The hub and I would be in the same office, no less. Pray to the pink unicorns that at some point in the near future, the disastrously disorganized pudding-for-brains woman who currently holds this job will be handing it over to me me me!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed. And my toes. And even my PANTSFREE LEGS crossed. (That was my non-loquacious way of telling you that I'm feeling pretty motherfucking fancy-free in my ever-so-professional-pretending office with my Ecko gangbanger shorts and no shoes. P.F.F!)
Anyway, quarter-life crises aside for a minute, partly because it's really the sort of topic that we all already talk and read to death anyway... I've been wondering about something. Me and You, my good buddy ElJay (you are all one collective person in my head, I think... one very prolific and hilarious and busy person at that) talk about all sorts of shit. Except for one thing. One thing that everyone has some very strong belief one way or another about, and is either not afraid to cram it down your throat at the merest sign of interest or conversely hold so dear to their personhood that you can live a whole lifetime waking up next to them and never know how they really feel about it.
Religion.
(You thought I was going to say soup, didn't you!? I nearly did.)
So I ask you, dear multi-celled organisms that make up the giant wicker-colossus I call My Pal ElJay: what do you believe? Or don't believe? Or if you are of the holding-your-cards-to-the-chest-so-closely-that-your-neighbors-will-say-they-never-saw-it-coming type, why won't you be telling me?? I'm intensely curious, people (being a religion major in college, I've had plenty of time already to indulge this curiosity, but STILL.). You can reply privately by email if you'd rather. But do share if you're so inclined, because we're all bros here. No worries. Oh, and not THIS KIND of bro, I promise.