i hate my life
look away if you don't want to hear me moaning.
Well, me and Carys have split up. Properly...
i don't really know what to do with myself. We're still living together and she says she will move out in the New Year which basically means that everything is gonna be dragged out even more. i'm gonna have to live with her without being her girlfriend for at least another 2 months, and then gonna have to go through the shit of her moving out and not being here. I don't know. i mean i know she has to move out but that doesn't really make it suck any less.
i know it's for the best and that i'll get over it and all that other fucking shit that people tell other people when they've split up with someone. but i've been with her since i was 16 and i can't really remember what my life was like before that, except for that i was miserable as fuck and got off with loads of people. i don't want to be single. i know that's not a good enough reason to want to stay with her, obviously it's not the only reason, but i just don't know what i'll do without her. i feel like i've put all my eggs in one fucking basket and the handle's broke.
i read somewhere that apparently it takes about half the time you were going out with someone to get over them. and if this is going to be the way it is for the next 2 years i just can't really see the fucking point.
so it's been one of the worst weeks ever. we got back together, argued even worse than we were before, and then on friday had a chat and decided to finish it. but on saturday i was like "oh shit, that was a stupid idea, i don't want to finish" etc. etc. and tried to talk to her yesterday but it looks like she's made up her mind. so. there's not a hell of a lot i can do about it but i'm not sure i'm gonna be able to get over this one. probably the worst thing is that i feel like i can't really talk to anybody about it, or go anywhere to get away from it. i tried going to my mum's for the weekend but only stayed a night and started feeling guilty as fuck cuz my parents are all concerned and stuff.
i mean really. could she have picked a worse time to decide she doesn't want to get back with me?!!! fucking christmas and new year (ugh) coming up, i've got 4 essays to do which i will not be able to concentrate on doing in the next 4 weeks, gotta deal with the fucking parental situation over christmas.... i know that it's never gonna be a convenient time but for fuck's sake!!!
so i'm pretty pissed off and depressed atm. might go down to the doctors in a bit and ask if i can go back on happy pills although i'm not sure how much that can possibly help. all this shit is making me physically sick, i've been sick every day this week so far and lost a stone in a week. i just feel like curling up and dying or something.
if anyone has any advice go ahead with it. send help!
Well, me and Carys have split up. Properly...
i don't really know what to do with myself. We're still living together and she says she will move out in the New Year which basically means that everything is gonna be dragged out even more. i'm gonna have to live with her without being her girlfriend for at least another 2 months, and then gonna have to go through the shit of her moving out and not being here. I don't know. i mean i know she has to move out but that doesn't really make it suck any less.
i know it's for the best and that i'll get over it and all that other fucking shit that people tell other people when they've split up with someone. but i've been with her since i was 16 and i can't really remember what my life was like before that, except for that i was miserable as fuck and got off with loads of people. i don't want to be single. i know that's not a good enough reason to want to stay with her, obviously it's not the only reason, but i just don't know what i'll do without her. i feel like i've put all my eggs in one fucking basket and the handle's broke.
i read somewhere that apparently it takes about half the time you were going out with someone to get over them. and if this is going to be the way it is for the next 2 years i just can't really see the fucking point.
so it's been one of the worst weeks ever. we got back together, argued even worse than we were before, and then on friday had a chat and decided to finish it. but on saturday i was like "oh shit, that was a stupid idea, i don't want to finish" etc. etc. and tried to talk to her yesterday but it looks like she's made up her mind. so. there's not a hell of a lot i can do about it but i'm not sure i'm gonna be able to get over this one. probably the worst thing is that i feel like i can't really talk to anybody about it, or go anywhere to get away from it. i tried going to my mum's for the weekend but only stayed a night and started feeling guilty as fuck cuz my parents are all concerned and stuff.
i mean really. could she have picked a worse time to decide she doesn't want to get back with me?!!! fucking christmas and new year (ugh) coming up, i've got 4 essays to do which i will not be able to concentrate on doing in the next 4 weeks, gotta deal with the fucking parental situation over christmas.... i know that it's never gonna be a convenient time but for fuck's sake!!!
so i'm pretty pissed off and depressed atm. might go down to the doctors in a bit and ask if i can go back on happy pills although i'm not sure how much that can possibly help. all this shit is making me physically sick, i've been sick every day this week so far and lost a stone in a week. i just feel like curling up and dying or something.
if anyone has any advice go ahead with it. send help!