What goes around (Round Robin fic, part 7)
Title: What Goes Around
Background: Post "The Girlfriend." Angst, AU, and R rating.
Ground rules: This is a round robin fic. The first person to claim it in a comment writes the next part and posts it as soon as they want or at least by... hopefully next week. The installment can be any length, change style, genre, POV, and go in any direction at all. That's the fun of it! :)
Disclaimer: None of us own any of the characters, unless we invent some original ones. So far, I haven't.
Thanks for HelenC for betaing this chapter!
(TeacherTam, I link your LJ because I don't know how to do something else to show the previous chapters...hope it's fine by you! Thanks!)
Previously on What goes around
And now...
Kirsten and Sandy watched as Ryan’s chest heaved frantically and he became paler and paler.
-“Ryan?” asked a worried-looking Sandy. “Kid?” he insisted. Ryan seemed unaware of his foster parents’ concern. He looked totally detached, shut down in his own world. An uncomfortable one, guessed Sandy when Ryan begun to shake.
“LB, you’re such a retard! Come on! Open your mouth and produce some sound!”
-“Kid? Please, talk to us. Tell us what’s going on.”
What’s going on?
Well, the people I respect the most and whose respect I want to earn so much just watched those god-awful pictures of me, naked. And these pictures exist because I was too weak to refuse, to do something. And now, Mitch is gonna show those pictures to everyone I know. That’s what’s going on, Sandy.
-“Ryan, it’s okay, we’re here. Ryan?”
Ryan watched Kirsten gently stand up and come near him. As she put her hand on his shoulder, the sound of a bomb exploded in his head. He burst out the front door and begun to run. He didn’t hear Sandy calling him or Seth asking what was going on.
His breaths were coming in short, uneven puffs by the time he reached the beach.
“Lie down. Now! Are you deaf? Lie down. Open your legs. Do it! Now!”
Ryan tried to take a deep breath but couldn’t. He only produced a high pitched sound and felt his eyes well up with tears.
“If you don’t open your legs, I’ll kill your mom. Is that what you want? It would be your fault. Your fault! Do what I say! Now!”
Why now? Why when everything was just starting to settle, when he was almost calm and safe and normal? Who was he kidding? He would never be normal. Not after what he had done.
“I’ll kill her and it'll be your fault! Don’t move! Okay. Good boy!”
He finally gave up on trying to catch his breath and buried his head in his hands with a frustrated sob, pulling his knees up to his chin.
“Put your hands down! Are you that stupid? Who’s gonna buy these photos with your hand over it?! I thought you were the smart one. If you’re smart, just do what I say.”
His chest was burning and he clutched his arms close to his body, wrapping himself up in the long sleeves of the sweater Kirsten had bought for him when he had arrived in Newport.
“We should clean all this out, so that you have room for some of your... Right, you don't have any stuff. Which means we have to go shopping for clothes and shoes and underpants...”
“Mom, don’t say underpants!”
Now, it was over. Everything was over. They were going to throw him out and he couldn’t find a single reason for them not to. They had to get rid of him. After what he had done, they couldn’t let him stay near Seth, near their family. He was toxic. A pervert. A pervert who had let himself be photographed naked at twelve years old and who had kissed his foster mother’s dad’s girlfriend. He wouldn’t let himself stay, so why would they?
Black spots were invading his vision and the burn in his chest was getting more and more painful. Perhaps he was gonna die, right here, on the beach. It would be easier, wouldn’t it?
-“Ryan!” called Sandy’s voice.
Ryan felt his foster father sit down beside him and flinched. He couldn’t pretend everything was normal. Things were never going to be normal again. Not after the entire town knew what he had done.
-“Ryan, please, don’t shut down, talk to me, talk to us, we’re there for you.”
I can’t talk, I can’t breathe, don’t waste your time on me, I’m not worth it.
-“Ryan? Ryan, you’ve got to calm down. Take a deep breath,” instructed Sandy while grabbing his cell phone.
-“Honey, I found him…no…I’m not sure…it looks like a panic attack…sure, call him…please…I don’t know what to do…near the safeguard’s tower…”
-“Take a deep breath, Ryan. I’m right here with you, okay? It’s gonna be fine, don’t worry!”
It’s not going to be fine. It’s going to get worse. You can’t imagine how worse it’s gonna get. Please don’t hate me. Please don’t kick me out. Please be different from everyone else in my life. Please don’t leave me alone again. Please be the man I need you to be. Please…
Unable to comply, Ryan began to choke.
He heard someone running towards them and felt something coarse press against his mouth. He started to struggle until he heard Kirsten’s voice.
-“This will help, Ryan, just breathe into the bag, just relax and breathe into the bag…”
He wanted to tell her that it was too much, that Mitch had forced him, that he didn’t want to do it …he couldn’t talk...he couldn’t breathe…
He tried to focus on Kirsten's soothing voice instructing him to take a deep breath, but her voice was fading away.
-“...coming soon...gonna pass out on us...hear us talking...”
-“...just help him...gonna talk...wish he did...understand...”
By the time Seth called and informed them that Dr. Green had arrived, Ryan had blacked out.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A scream made Sandy jerk awake and he hastily went upstairs. When he entered the guest room he found Ryan trashing in his bed.
“Ryan presents all the symptoms of PTSD,” had indicated Dr. Green after giving the kid a sedative.
Sandy tried to wake Ryan up.
-“Kid, wake up! It’s okay, Ryan. Just wake up.”
-“Mitch, please, don’t…please…”
-“Ryan, it’s Sandy. There's no Mitch here, wake up kid!” repeated Sandy while shaking Ryan harder. The kid woke up with a start.
-“You’re with me, Ryan?”
Ryan nodded jerkily, gasping, disoriented. Sandy rubbed his shoulder and Ryan sat up slowly, trying to get his bearings.
-"You okay?" Sandy asked when Ryan's breathing returned to normal.
Please, talk to me. Talk.
-"Yeah," answered hoarsely Ryan before pulling his knees up to his chin and burying his head in his arms.
- “The doctor came, he gave you something. A light sedative,” explained Sandy.
- “Sorry,” came a muffled answer.
-“There's nothing to be sorry for, kid.”
Ryan shook his head.
- “Please don’t hate me!”
Sandy swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat and put his arm around Ryan’s shoulder.
-“I will never, never, hate you. Neither will Kirsten nor Seth. We love you, no matter what, Ryan.”
Ryan began to shake.
-“He forced me to do that. I'm so sorry. Please don’t kick me out. I didn’t want to. I…”
-“We will never kick you out. You’re family. You’re my son, Kirsten’s son, Seth’s brother. We’re going to deal with this and it’s anything but your fault.”
-“He was there. He’s gonna show these pictures to everybody. There’re plenty of them. It’s my fault.”
Sandy tightened his embrace around Ryan when his foster son began to sob uncontrollably repeating he was sorry.
-“It’s not your fault. It’s this…man’s fault and we’re going to deal with that. I don’t want you to worry,” promised Sandy, swearing to himself that this Mitch guy was gonna pay for what he had done. There was no way other people were gonna watch pictures of a distressed twelve year old Ryan forced to take sick poses while a swine pervert took pictures of him. Sandy shook his head in disgust and when he looked up, he watched Seth standing near the door, mouth wide-open, tears in his eyes.
TBC by?
Background: Post "The Girlfriend." Angst, AU, and R rating.
Ground rules: This is a round robin fic. The first person to claim it in a comment writes the next part and posts it as soon as they want or at least by... hopefully next week. The installment can be any length, change style, genre, POV, and go in any direction at all. That's the fun of it! :)
Disclaimer: None of us own any of the characters, unless we invent some original ones. So far, I haven't.
Thanks for HelenC for betaing this chapter!
(TeacherTam, I link your LJ because I don't know how to do something else to show the previous chapters...hope it's fine by you! Thanks!)
Previously on What goes around
And now...
Kirsten and Sandy watched as Ryan’s chest heaved frantically and he became paler and paler.
-“Ryan?” asked a worried-looking Sandy. “Kid?” he insisted. Ryan seemed unaware of his foster parents’ concern. He looked totally detached, shut down in his own world. An uncomfortable one, guessed Sandy when Ryan begun to shake.
“LB, you’re such a retard! Come on! Open your mouth and produce some sound!”
-“Kid? Please, talk to us. Tell us what’s going on.”
What’s going on?
Well, the people I respect the most and whose respect I want to earn so much just watched those god-awful pictures of me, naked. And these pictures exist because I was too weak to refuse, to do something. And now, Mitch is gonna show those pictures to everyone I know. That’s what’s going on, Sandy.
-“Ryan, it’s okay, we’re here. Ryan?”
Ryan watched Kirsten gently stand up and come near him. As she put her hand on his shoulder, the sound of a bomb exploded in his head. He burst out the front door and begun to run. He didn’t hear Sandy calling him or Seth asking what was going on.
His breaths were coming in short, uneven puffs by the time he reached the beach.
“Lie down. Now! Are you deaf? Lie down. Open your legs. Do it! Now!”
Ryan tried to take a deep breath but couldn’t. He only produced a high pitched sound and felt his eyes well up with tears.
“If you don’t open your legs, I’ll kill your mom. Is that what you want? It would be your fault. Your fault! Do what I say! Now!”
Why now? Why when everything was just starting to settle, when he was almost calm and safe and normal? Who was he kidding? He would never be normal. Not after what he had done.
“I’ll kill her and it'll be your fault! Don’t move! Okay. Good boy!”
He finally gave up on trying to catch his breath and buried his head in his hands with a frustrated sob, pulling his knees up to his chin.
“Put your hands down! Are you that stupid? Who’s gonna buy these photos with your hand over it?! I thought you were the smart one. If you’re smart, just do what I say.”
His chest was burning and he clutched his arms close to his body, wrapping himself up in the long sleeves of the sweater Kirsten had bought for him when he had arrived in Newport.
“We should clean all this out, so that you have room for some of your... Right, you don't have any stuff. Which means we have to go shopping for clothes and shoes and underpants...”
“Mom, don’t say underpants!”
Now, it was over. Everything was over. They were going to throw him out and he couldn’t find a single reason for them not to. They had to get rid of him. After what he had done, they couldn’t let him stay near Seth, near their family. He was toxic. A pervert. A pervert who had let himself be photographed naked at twelve years old and who had kissed his foster mother’s dad’s girlfriend. He wouldn’t let himself stay, so why would they?
Black spots were invading his vision and the burn in his chest was getting more and more painful. Perhaps he was gonna die, right here, on the beach. It would be easier, wouldn’t it?
-“Ryan!” called Sandy’s voice.
Ryan felt his foster father sit down beside him and flinched. He couldn’t pretend everything was normal. Things were never going to be normal again. Not after the entire town knew what he had done.
-“Ryan, please, don’t shut down, talk to me, talk to us, we’re there for you.”
I can’t talk, I can’t breathe, don’t waste your time on me, I’m not worth it.
-“Ryan? Ryan, you’ve got to calm down. Take a deep breath,” instructed Sandy while grabbing his cell phone.
-“Honey, I found him…no…I’m not sure…it looks like a panic attack…sure, call him…please…I don’t know what to do…near the safeguard’s tower…”
-“Take a deep breath, Ryan. I’m right here with you, okay? It’s gonna be fine, don’t worry!”
It’s not going to be fine. It’s going to get worse. You can’t imagine how worse it’s gonna get. Please don’t hate me. Please don’t kick me out. Please be different from everyone else in my life. Please don’t leave me alone again. Please be the man I need you to be. Please…
Unable to comply, Ryan began to choke.
He heard someone running towards them and felt something coarse press against his mouth. He started to struggle until he heard Kirsten’s voice.
-“This will help, Ryan, just breathe into the bag, just relax and breathe into the bag…”
He wanted to tell her that it was too much, that Mitch had forced him, that he didn’t want to do it …he couldn’t talk...he couldn’t breathe…
He tried to focus on Kirsten's soothing voice instructing him to take a deep breath, but her voice was fading away.
-“...coming soon...gonna pass out on us...hear us talking...”
-“...just help him...gonna talk...wish he did...understand...”
By the time Seth called and informed them that Dr. Green had arrived, Ryan had blacked out.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A scream made Sandy jerk awake and he hastily went upstairs. When he entered the guest room he found Ryan trashing in his bed.
“Ryan presents all the symptoms of PTSD,” had indicated Dr. Green after giving the kid a sedative.
Sandy tried to wake Ryan up.
-“Kid, wake up! It’s okay, Ryan. Just wake up.”
-“Mitch, please, don’t…please…”
-“Ryan, it’s Sandy. There's no Mitch here, wake up kid!” repeated Sandy while shaking Ryan harder. The kid woke up with a start.
-“You’re with me, Ryan?”
Ryan nodded jerkily, gasping, disoriented. Sandy rubbed his shoulder and Ryan sat up slowly, trying to get his bearings.
-"You okay?" Sandy asked when Ryan's breathing returned to normal.
Please, talk to me. Talk.
-"Yeah," answered hoarsely Ryan before pulling his knees up to his chin and burying his head in his arms.
- “The doctor came, he gave you something. A light sedative,” explained Sandy.
- “Sorry,” came a muffled answer.
-“There's nothing to be sorry for, kid.”
Ryan shook his head.
- “Please don’t hate me!”
Sandy swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat and put his arm around Ryan’s shoulder.
-“I will never, never, hate you. Neither will Kirsten nor Seth. We love you, no matter what, Ryan.”
Ryan began to shake.
-“He forced me to do that. I'm so sorry. Please don’t kick me out. I didn’t want to. I…”
-“We will never kick you out. You’re family. You’re my son, Kirsten’s son, Seth’s brother. We’re going to deal with this and it’s anything but your fault.”
-“He was there. He’s gonna show these pictures to everybody. There’re plenty of them. It’s my fault.”
Sandy tightened his embrace around Ryan when his foster son began to sob uncontrollably repeating he was sorry.
-“It’s not your fault. It’s this…man’s fault and we’re going to deal with that. I don’t want you to worry,” promised Sandy, swearing to himself that this Mitch guy was gonna pay for what he had done. There was no way other people were gonna watch pictures of a distressed twelve year old Ryan forced to take sick poses while a swine pervert took pictures of him. Sandy shook his head in disgust and when he looked up, he watched Seth standing near the door, mouth wide-open, tears in his eyes.
TBC by?