yarr....
I guess James is doing pretty good with his music right now. He's joined White Boy Ric's new band "4star". It's cool and all, cuz that's not a bad move for him, but it kind of feels like my musical ambitions don't have enough benefits for people to want to stick around with me. So technically, I'd say I'm still stuck being solo, cuz that's all I really have at the moment. But I don't know if that's really a bad thing. Who else in this world would even be able to pull off my musical style. I have so little taste for showboating any particular intrument, I don't think that anyone would really feel too excited about being part of a backup band. The stuff i have already will probably be more beneficial towards me than anything I might be able to get started out of Michigan, so maybe solo isn't a bad thing. Whatever, I just feel a little more alone today, that's all. I've been worrying so much about my funds that I haven't been eating very much lately. I actually lost about 10 pounds in the last 2 weeks from this. Not like it matters though, I wanted to get myself into better shape anyways. But I've really been too depressed to find the time to do anything at all with the time I have left here. I'm mostly just trying to waste it all away to pretend that none of it is there. I just want to be home. At there, i could start aiming myself into a direction. Right now it's all just loose anticipation. Plus, I get worried that the longer I stay here, the closer Heather might get to giving me up. I mean, she can't just miss me the same forever, eventually, she'll start to feel like I don't really exist, and maybe she'll find stronger feelings for a guy that turns out to be alittle more tangible, and maybe just a little more complimentary for her. God knows I'm not exactly the coolest guy in the world. If anything, I really do press my luck with her, and if she still likes anything about me at all, I'm very very lucky. Blessed even. All I really have till this music ambition starts to take form is Heather, and I just hope I don't screw that one up too.