First week of grad school completed. I'd like my gold star please.
Finished my first full week of classes today.
Whoa. Nothing could have prepared me for this.
I had been warned that it was a lot of work, that it was going to take up a lot of time, tons of reading, etc.... but wow...
I feel like undergrad held your hand through everything; compared to this, it was cake.
I haven't had to write a legit paper since... my senior year of high school. I got through my entire undergrad without having to write a full on research paper or anything more than a 5-8 page fluff paper or response paper.
Now I'm expected to write tons of them..and all in the next few weeks. I feel so unprepared for this.
I seriously feel like someone is just going to come to me one day and say "Alright, show's over. Nice try but you're not fooling anyone". They're going to figure out I'm not as smart as they thought I was. I watch all the light bulbs turn on over my classmates heads and I'm sitting there with a blank stare.
Don't get me wrong, I find this stuff fascinating. I have never enjoyed my class topics or discussions as much as I have in only my first week and I'm not even to the point where I'm getting to choose my classes, so it will only get more interesting from here on out.
It's just hard to not feel like you're drowning.
I still haven't really grasped the fact that I now live in California. I have an apartment here, my car is here, my life for the next 5 years.... is here.
I wonder how long before it'll start to feel like home. I can't recall how long it took to get that feeling in Hawaii. Hmm, perhaps I'll have a look back at my entries from then and see what I have to say for myself.
Darrin and Rob drove down with me. We got a flat tire on the way, when we weren't even out of Oregon yet. Darrin drove the whole time and the trip took a total of `I think 14 hours (with the flat tire fiasco included) I'm not sure if he was being a gentleman and not wanting me to worry about having to drive, or if he dislikes me driving, perhaps a combination hehe.
The boys stayed for about a week, Dare actually just left yesterday morning.
That whole situation still astounds me. Most times I find it hard to believe it's really happening. I still worry, often, that history is going to repeat itself. Again.
I know it's different this time, and mostly I am completely content...no, that's not even the right word I'm much more than just content with things. But sometimes, insecurity creeps in.
I just can't believe how sure of everything he seems to be. How can he be that sure of this? How does he just know that I'm the one? Is it really just that timing was off, that I've always been the one but the timing wasn't right? Can it be that simple?
Oy. So much I need to be doing right now. I had to take a break from reading... I might actually just call it a night and start fresh in the morning. I've been reading/planning/researching/studying all day. My brain hurts, it legitimately aches.
Whoa. Nothing could have prepared me for this.
I had been warned that it was a lot of work, that it was going to take up a lot of time, tons of reading, etc.... but wow...
I feel like undergrad held your hand through everything; compared to this, it was cake.
I haven't had to write a legit paper since... my senior year of high school. I got through my entire undergrad without having to write a full on research paper or anything more than a 5-8 page fluff paper or response paper.
Now I'm expected to write tons of them..and all in the next few weeks. I feel so unprepared for this.
I seriously feel like someone is just going to come to me one day and say "Alright, show's over. Nice try but you're not fooling anyone". They're going to figure out I'm not as smart as they thought I was. I watch all the light bulbs turn on over my classmates heads and I'm sitting there with a blank stare.
Don't get me wrong, I find this stuff fascinating. I have never enjoyed my class topics or discussions as much as I have in only my first week and I'm not even to the point where I'm getting to choose my classes, so it will only get more interesting from here on out.
It's just hard to not feel like you're drowning.
I still haven't really grasped the fact that I now live in California. I have an apartment here, my car is here, my life for the next 5 years.... is here.
I wonder how long before it'll start to feel like home. I can't recall how long it took to get that feeling in Hawaii. Hmm, perhaps I'll have a look back at my entries from then and see what I have to say for myself.
Darrin and Rob drove down with me. We got a flat tire on the way, when we weren't even out of Oregon yet. Darrin drove the whole time and the trip took a total of `I think 14 hours (with the flat tire fiasco included) I'm not sure if he was being a gentleman and not wanting me to worry about having to drive, or if he dislikes me driving, perhaps a combination hehe.
The boys stayed for about a week, Dare actually just left yesterday morning.
That whole situation still astounds me. Most times I find it hard to believe it's really happening. I still worry, often, that history is going to repeat itself. Again.
I know it's different this time, and mostly I am completely content...no, that's not even the right word I'm much more than just content with things. But sometimes, insecurity creeps in.
I just can't believe how sure of everything he seems to be. How can he be that sure of this? How does he just know that I'm the one? Is it really just that timing was off, that I've always been the one but the timing wasn't right? Can it be that simple?
Oy. So much I need to be doing right now. I had to take a break from reading... I might actually just call it a night and start fresh in the morning. I've been reading/planning/researching/studying all day. My brain hurts, it legitimately aches.