Roulette
I don't think I've ever been so simultaneously scared and sure of something before.
It's all still so fragile. I feel like it could break at any moment... and break me at any second, but I've decided to trust that it won't.
What is that saying?.... Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting that they won't...
That couldn't hold more truth than it does right now.
I'm signing up for one of the worst possible heartbreaks in my life, because the risk is great enough.
I know in my heart this is it. It scares me to sound that sure of something so risky.
I still can't believe all this is happening.
I read over some old entries, from the times before. I wanted to make sure I remembered how it felt, remembered how he crushed me before. Remind myself of the power he has over me.
Not that it's anything I could ever forget...I just wanted to jolt myself out of this fairytale I seem to have dropped into. Both times I attempted this... he just happened to call in the midst of it.
It seems that even with the history here, and as much as I try to guard myself... he's got something over me I can't even explain. It's bigger than me. I'm done trying to fight it.
I'm diving in, head first... if only I knew how to swim....
It's all still so fragile. I feel like it could break at any moment... and break me at any second, but I've decided to trust that it won't.
What is that saying?.... Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting that they won't...
That couldn't hold more truth than it does right now.
I'm signing up for one of the worst possible heartbreaks in my life, because the risk is great enough.
I know in my heart this is it. It scares me to sound that sure of something so risky.
I still can't believe all this is happening.
I read over some old entries, from the times before. I wanted to make sure I remembered how it felt, remembered how he crushed me before. Remind myself of the power he has over me.
Not that it's anything I could ever forget...I just wanted to jolt myself out of this fairytale I seem to have dropped into. Both times I attempted this... he just happened to call in the midst of it.
It seems that even with the history here, and as much as I try to guard myself... he's got something over me I can't even explain. It's bigger than me. I'm done trying to fight it.
I'm diving in, head first... if only I knew how to swim....