I am on the bus heading to work. I keep thinking about how self-destructive I am. It seems like any time things are going well enough I just have to sabotage my life. Why can't I just leave well enough alone? Why can't I make the right decisions for myself?

I feel like my life right now is in a holding pattern, that I'm just going through the motions of day to day life, waiting for it to really happen again. I've had the last few days off of work, and all I've done is lock myself in my room, websurfing and reading the galley of the Peter David book that's coming out in June, Tigerheart, until my eyes ( Read more... )

I was in the shower just now, letting the water pour down on me, just staring at the wall with my arms folded over my chest like someone in a casket. I couldn't get the water hot enough... I couldn't really feel it. I am feeling overwhelmed. I feel somewhat numb, possibly depressed. I think it's because it's really hit me, walking around the ( Read more... )

Today begins day one of two days off. I got to sleep in, which was nice, but for the last few days and now as well I seem to be constantly tired and my throat feels like I'm on the verge of a cold. Fortunately I have the entirety of season one of Veronica Mars (minus the first six episodes which I've already seen) to watch thanks to
( Read more... )

Wake up ( Read more... )

... news at 11.

{sigh}

I am so sorry... to both of you.

( Would you? A poem by Gwynne Curtis )