Scary

[brainwalker]

Life, man. Just... life. It's really scary. It's like driving around in Baltimore. You make a turn that should tecnically send you in the right direction, and it might just as easily take you to the ghetto instead. Not that I know what direction is the right one, anyway... I need a road map, or OnStar, or GPS or something. Or better yet, why

Comments

[kaisharga]

The first step is the hardest to make. Hell, I live away from the parents and pay my own rent and have a job and a half, and I still haven't really made my own first step. But you have a destination. Are you going to wait for it to come to you?

That was kind of a mean question, I mean of course you don't *want* to, but you know that it's going to get closer, somehow, as time passes, and that is reason enough to let things take their own course and just respond to things as they come rather than rising up to meet the future head-on. I mean, the future is a fucking scary place, and the path to find it is full of risks and ventures and uncertainties, wrapped in a burrito

[cbtr]

Brian, I look at your picture & my heart goes out to you. It's tough for young adults your age. There is nothing wrong with you. Maybe you are stalled out for the moment. Maybe it's just plain old caution that slows you down. Cheryl planned for 6 months or better before she moved. I know in the back of your mind you probably feel a twinge of guilt thinking about leaving your mom & dad. But I am sure they just want you to be happy & if that's in Texas .... so be it. If a good friend wrote the very same entry that you just did, would you judge them so harshly? I think not. Believe in yourself, I do. I think you are a terrific young man with a great future. FYI I noticed on yahoos home page that there is a new link called hot jobs. You just type in a city & state or zip code if you have one & it brings up job openings. You have your degree so just a thought it was interesting looking in Macon for Cheryl. Hope you don't mind hearing from an old lady who cares about you too.

[brainwalker]

Nah, I don't mind. Old ladies have some pretty good advice sometimes.

I do tend to judge myself much more harshly than anyone else, actually, and I'm not entirely sure why. It's such a natural part of my personality that it doesn't even occur to me until someone points it out. I don't think I'll ever get over it, but at least I can attempt to be a little better about it.

If mom and dad weren't older than the average parents of a twentysomething, I probably wouldn't have as much trouble with leaving them by themselves, but they've been helping me out a lot more than I've helped them out, even with as much as I do around here, so... I'm not sure that that's entirely logical. Still, while dad's on the mend, I don't think I'll be going anywhere.

I've actually been to Yahoo Hot Jobs, but not recently... I tend to tone down my searching when I have a good lead, but that's probably not a good idea. I should probably keep on searching reguardless until someone tells me I've got a job.

[brainwalker]

Yea, the problem is that the whole "Yea, it'll happen eventually, so I might as well just sorta hang around and ride the wave" has been going on my entire life, and it only recently stopped working. Stupid education. A lifetime lacking negative reinforcement for bad behavoir is hard to overcome.

The thing about the path from point A to point B is that I only have a clear understanding of point A. Point B is a little rough, and the path... yea. No idea. I like bite-sized chunks, though. Makes it a lot easier to consume that bigass Chipotle-sized life-burrito.

[kaisharga]

Man, now I gotta go to Chipotle again sometime. I forgot for a while that their burritos are El Awesome.