Brick by Brick 8/8+Epilogue
Title: Brick By Brick ( LJ I FF.net I S&C)
Author: bowtiedarling (Tumblr | LJ)
Artist: voices-echo (Tumblr)
Word Count: ~25,279
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Kurt/Blaine, Mike Chang, Rachel Berry, OC
Warnings: Language
Summary: After a decade together, Kurt and Blaine are more distant than they’ve ever been. Between late nights at the office and weekends working, Kurt is never home and Blaine is at his wit’s end. As everything comes to a head, Blaine will take one last shot at saving their relationship.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters. Or the show. God, I wish I did, but I don’t.
Author’s Notes: I want to thank my amazing betas, twobirdsonesong and voices-echo. Voices-echo was also my artist for this BBB and did half the artwork for it as well as a playlist. This story would not have gotten written if it wasn’t for those two pushing me to keep going and forcing me to rewrite half of it to make it better. You two are phenomenal! This story was inspired by the song ‘Brick by Brick’, sung by Train and I suggest you go check it out here. Also, I don’t write long stories that don’t end happily. Keep that in mind please. The artwork includes some photos of locations to relevant places in the story so make sure to check that out too. Enjoy!
Artwork
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Epilogue
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Blaine tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for the elevator doors to close. He pressed the button for his floor again and again. He had hurried as fast as he could back to the hotel and, thankful that it had only taken him forty minutes to get there from the theater. The way Kurt had sounded on the phone concerned him; it worried Blaine that Kurt was upset enough to let it show. Kurt hasn't been that distressed since their tearful conversation years ago about the event that shall not be named. As Blaine racked his brain to look for something that could explain it, the elevator doors finally opened and he hurriedly turned right towards his room.
Kurt had said something the other day about Burt. A wave of panic spread through Blaine; surely Kurt would have told him immediately over the phone if something had happened to his dad. He reached the end of the hallway and when he turned the corner, he saw Kurt ahead, seated on the floor in front of Blaine's door, with his arms wrapped tight around his legs. Kurt’s overall appearance did nothing to lessen Blaine’s worry.
Kurt had skinny jeans on with his favorite lace-up combat boots, which were so worn they were close to falling apart. His hair seemed to have little-to-no product in it and Blaine himself had rarely seen it unstyled in all their long years together. Blaine's old, worn-in NYU sweatshirt covered Kurt's torso and Blaine's heart broke; Kurt only ever wore his hoodie on a really, really bad day. Kurt's head was down and he was curled in on his own body, making himself as small as possible. His shoulders were slightly shaking. Blaine slowed his steps as he got closer so as not to scare Kurt.
"Kurt?" Blaine asked, as softly as he could.
Kurt's head shot up and Blaine immediately saw his red-rimmed eyes and dried tear tracks. As soon as Kurt's eyes locked with Blaine's the tears began anew, and Kurt threw a hand over his mouth. His eyes squeezed shut as the tears threatened to fall harder and Blaine's heart broke all over again.
"What’s wrong?" Blaine rushed that last few steps to get to him and bent down to run a hand through Kurt's hair. "What happened?"
Kurt just shook his head as the tears fell harder and leaned towards him. Blaine wrapped an arm around him.
"Come on, let’s go inside okay?" He felt Kurt nod and Blaine helped him stand before he grabbed his key out of his pocket and opened the door.
Blaine slipped the strap of his bag over his head and gently placed it on the top of the desk. He watched as Kurt sank down into the bed and Blaine padded over to sit down beside him. Kurt turned into his side and curled into Blaine’s body without hesitation. Blaine wrapped his arms around him as Kurt sobbed into his neck. He felt Kurt's tears seeping into his shirt and just held him closer. "What happened?"
Kurt shook his head but Blaine couldn't tell which direction and bit his lip before he tried again. "Is it your dad? Is he okay? Is-"
"My dad's fine, Blaine. It's me! I'm not okay!" Kurt shouted through his tears and he tore himself from Blaine's arms to stand in front of him. "I lost my job, Blaine! My job! I have been working my ass off for months because there was a promotion happening and they said if I proved myself I would get it! Fuck I'm so stupid!"
Blaine watched, stunned, at Kurt’s outburst as Kurt paced back and forth in front of him. Blaine couldn't understand why Kurt was blaming himself.
"Kurt, you are not stupid,” he said earnestly. “You were trying for a promotion? Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because you weren't supposed to know! I was going to surprise you because we had talked about starting a family and how insane an idea it was because both of our schedules are crazy and we rarely have time to just be as is. But this new position would have given me back normal hours, with the exception of the shows, and we would have had more money and we could have started our family, So I've been working my ass off, day and night, to prove myself to get that promotion, but surprise! Apparently the entire fucking company went bankrupt and every fucking person was let go. Meanwhile, Cristian, my dear sweet boss, is gone and no one can find him. So here I am without the love of my life, no job, no prospects for a replacement job, and every single fucking thing I have worked for is gone and I've been so afraid that you'll actually leave me for good and I just want my life back!"
Kurt covered his face with his hands and dissolved into hysterical sobs again. Blaine sat, shell-shocked at his confession, for a few seconds before he stood up and walked over to gather Kurt in his arms.
"Kurt, I'm so sorry. It's okay sweetheart, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm right here." He held Kurt close and ran a hand through his thick hair as he whispered soothing words in his ear. He had known that Kurt had been stressed, they had talked about that, but he had no idea that it had gotten this bad. A wave of sadness swept through him that Kurt had kept it hidden from him all this time, regardless of his reasons. Everything could have been so different if they’d worked through this together. As a couple.
Blaine felt the last of Kurt’s energy drain out of him, leaving him weak and limp in his arms, and Blaine gently guided Kurt back to the bed before his knees gave out. Blaine continued to hold him until Kurt's sobs subsided after awhile and became soft sniffles. He carefully brushed Kurt's bangs off his face and pressed a gentle kiss to his temple.
Kurt sniffled and pulled back a few inches as he turned his head to wipe the tears from his face with the edge of the sweatshirt. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to break down like that."
Blaine rolled his eyes. "I think that has been a long time coming now. Why do you always try to be so strong?"
Kurt bit his lip and rested his head on Blaine's shoulder. "I guess it's a force of habit now. I'm used to everyone else breaking around me and I'm always left to keep the pieces together. I had to keep it together."
"Kurt. You don't have to be strong for me. I know you. Please don't raise that barrier around me, not again."
Kurt nodded his head and glanced at Blaine through wet, clumped eyelashes. "I’m sorry. It’s a hard habit to break."
"Well, let me be the strong person now, okay? You and I are partners and boyfriends, we’re in this together; you aren’t alone. Let me help you through this?" Kurt sighed and nodded weakly, and Blaine considered it a victory when it came to Kurt. "So can we talk about this now? You and me, no hiding, just honesty?" Kurt nodded in agreement again, and Blaine took a deep breath.
"Why didn't you ever mention to me that you were going for the promotion or even thinking about it?"
Kurt unwrapped himself from Blaine's arms and moved to sit across from him on the bed. Blaine hated that Kurt still felt like he needed that distance.
"I honestly wanted to surprise you. It would have made our future easier and less stressful. Ever since we had that talk about maybe starting a family together, I realized I would have to be the one to cut my hours in order to raise a child the way we wanted." Blaine opened his mouth to argue but Kurt quickly held a hand up. "No, Blaine. Just listen to me. You love that theater. It is your brainchild with your friends from college and you have put so much work and blood and sweat and tears into it. It's too important to too many people for you to not be as dedicated to it and not be completely involved. They need you."
Kurt paused and Blaine could tell he was trying to figure out how to phrase what he wanted to say next.
"I haven't truly been happy at my job for awhile, if we're being honest. I’ve actually been thinking about trying to find a new job.”
Blaine sat stunned as he listened to Kurt talk about his discontent at his job. All of this was news to Blaine. Why hadn’t he been able to figure out Kurt had been so unhappy?
“But then this promotion came up and I thought 'hey, this could be perfect.’,” Kurt went on. “I thought if I worked hard enough I could get it, stay there for another year, earn some money, and then find a different job. It would show that I moved up in the company, that I was a valuable asset, and then I could work for the big labels." Kurt sighed and shut his eyes before he ran a hand through his hair.
"I've been doing every single extra project that has possibly been coming up to try to get me that extra edge. That's why I haven't been home, that’s why I’ve been so fucking absent. You were so busy at the theater, I just - I guess I thought that you wouldn't notice since we were both so busy. That didn’t work out very well, did it?"
Blaine smirked and held his hand out palm up for Kurt to take. "It could've gone better. So what happened this morning? Or did it happen before?"
Kurt shook his head and reached out for Blaine's hand. Blaine shivered at the feel of Kurt’s hand once more in his.
"No, it was this morning. As far as we knew Cristian had been on a business trip this week. I walked in this morning and it seemed like a normal day. I went to my desk and checked my messages, went through my email, just all my usual stuff. About an hour later, everyone in the building was called into the conference room. Sandra, Cristian's assistant, said that some things had been going on in the company without anyone's knowledge, including her own. Then she said tomorrow morning they would be filing for bankruptcy and that as of noon today everyone would be let go. We got our paycheck from the last week and that was it. Someone tried to ask her what was going on, but all she said was that she was sure we'd read about it in the trades in the next few days and that she couldn't discuss anything."
"Well,” Blaine scoffed. “That doesn't sound fishy at all. Wow. I’m - I’m so sorry."
"I know, I couldn't believe it. She said we had until noon to gather all our stuff and say goodbye before we had to leave. All I kept thinking was 'all this work I've done the past few months and now I'm unemployed.’ Out of all possible scenarios in my life right now, this was definitely not one of them."
Blaine brought their joined hands up to his lips to kiss Kurt's knuckles and gently rubbed his thumb back and forth across it. "I'm so sorry, Kurt.” He repeated. “You should have told me what you were trying to do. Aside from communication, starting a family doesn't mean one of us works more than the other. We talked about that remember? We decided it was going to be equal. You insisted on it."
"I know, I know, but I thought if I could just prove myself everything would work out. Now the whole idea seems stupid to begin with and I should have just told you." They both remained silent for a minute, lost in their own thoughts about the future. "God, I don't even know what I'm going to do now. Word is going to get around one way or another about what happened and now I'll have that name on my résumé forever. No one is going to want anything to do with me."
Blaine's head snapped up at that comment when he heard the defeat in Kurt's voice. "No, hey, look at me. You don't know that. Fashion moves so quickly - I'll be surprised if anyone remembers his name in a month."
Kurt shut his eyes to try and prevent more tears from slipping out. "That's the thing though. Everyone loves the gossip mill. I guarantee it will be talked about for months. It's just the way it happens. I don't even know where to start to try and find another job."
Blaine exhaled and slowly moved across the bed to sit next to Kurt and gathered him in his arms. "It's okay alright? We'll figure it out. Once people see your portfolio and talent they won't care where you came from. We have to take one thing at a time okay? We can't fix everything immediately."
Kurt relaxed and nodded into Blaine's chest and he felt the other man's fingers gently fist the front of his shirt. He tightened his arms around him as they sat there for a few minutes, not speaking, just holding on to each other. Kurt suddenly tensed up and unwound himself from Blaine to sit up.
"Where are we?"
"Ummm," Blaine glanced around confused by the question. "We're in my hotel room."
"No, no, I meant where do we stand? You and I."
Blaine's lips formed an O and thought about the question. "I love you more than you know, Kurt. I can't imagine us not together for the rest of our lives. You are it for me." He saw Kurt exhale in relief and Blaine didn't think it was ever a question. "We can't have this happen again. I can't handle it again. I won't survive it."
Kurt nodded and ran his hands over his face to wipe away his tears. "I know. I have to work on my communication. I swear I won't keep anything from you in the future."
Blaine bit his lip and ran a hand through his hair. "Things like this have to be a discussion. You can't make choices for me, especially when it comes to life-changing ones. We have to be a team." Kurt nodded nervously and Blaine could tell that he needed a solid answer.
"Come here." Kurt threw his arms around Blaine's shoulders and the force of it caused them to lose their balance and they fell backwards on the bed. They both laughed and Blaine pressed his forehead to Kurt's and his palm to Kurt's cheek. "We're going to be okay. We'll still have to work on everything to get back to where we were, but we'll get there."
Kurt nodded and hesitantly moved forward to close the space between them and he lightly pressed his lips to Blaine’s, unsure if it was okay. Blaine pushed forward and let himself remember Kurt’s kisses, let himself drown in the relief and happiness that had suddenly taken over. He sighed and tilted his head, finding the familiar angle and deepening the kiss, He reveled in the touch and taste of kissing Kurt that he had missed so much during the past few weeks. He ran a hand slowly through Kurt’s hair and re-acquainted himself with the feeling of Kurt’s lips on his before Kurt gently pulled away. “So does this mean you’ll move back home?”
Blaine nodded and his lips curled up in a little smile. "Yes, but not today. Today you and I are lying here in this room and we're getting everything out on the table between us. We'll order take out and we're going to talk everything out until our voices are gone." Blaine heard a quiet giggle escape Kurt's lips and he grinned at the sound. "Then we'll go home tomorrow."
Kurt grinned and surged forward and pressed his lips to Blaine's. "Good. I like home. I miss home. It hasn't been home since you left."
Blaine covered Kurt's lips with his before he had another chance to get emotional. "I miss home too."