(no subject)
Tonight I joined my room mate in a trip to Howell/Brighton, MI to pick up his computer from his father. He has been without a computer for close to a week, and it was starting to get to both of us. We've all been without a computer before - at first you vow that your life will be change for the better because of your computer's absence. You promise yourself that you will be productive and may even work on reading a book, or maybe even get in shape - maybe part of you even believes it. The first day is the easiest, you read, you do your homework, you go for a walk, you talk to Jesus - you tell your friends that you have never been happier. Deep inside, you know it's all a lie...that's when the pressure starts to get to you. By the end of the first night, you begin to notice the bald spot on your desk. The next day, you try to mask your frustration with a smile, continuing to rave about how wonderful your tech-free life is. By the third day, you are reduced to a shadow of your former self. You don't know what your friends are doing...how could you, you can't read their away messages or Facebook status! You are no longer invited to take part in the reindeer games of your friend because they can't get in touch with you. Oh sure, they have your phone number - but calling someone after not IM'ing or writing on their wall for a few days? That would just be weird. You lose touch with the news, as you are no longer able to read updates on all the major news websites. When you finally get the phone call that your computer is ready, you are happy enough to kiss the first person you see - unfortunately for you, it's usually the janitor that has just finished cleaning the ass hair off the toilet seat. You opt not to kiss him, but the smile you give him makes him wonder to himself if you are drunk, or if maybe you really were undressing him with your eyes. Needless to say, this made me happy when Jeff finally got the call from his father that his computer was ready. At 6pm, we headed down to the dining hall for a quick meal, then hit the road. Unfortunately, our departure was delayed by pedestrians leaving the high school basketball tournament being held at the Breslin Center. Immediately my mind flashed with thoughts of machine gun nests. We pressed on, finally arriving at Jeff's car.
The drive to Howell was an eventful one, which found Jeff and I arguing over the dark secrets of characters from Winnie the Pooh. You see, I insist that Piglet is a closet homosexual, struggling with the feelings he is having for Pooh. Jeff insists that I'm just an asshole - maybe I am, but I think Piglet has some issues that he needs to deal with. When we finally pulled into the McDonald's where we were to meet Jeff's dad, I think Jeff was relieved to be getting out of the car. Long story short, we spent about an hour in McDonald's with Jeff's dad and his computer. Finally, we were ready to get to the real reason for our trip: commerce. We set out for greener pastures in the business strip of Brighton. We pulled off each exit we came to, hoping that maybe this would promise Star Wars action figures and other discount items.
When we finally did find Brighton, it was close to 10pm. Our first stop was Best Buy. After the most terrifying left turn of my life, we wound through the parking lot towards our destination. One look at this particular branch of the Best Buy empire told me that this would be the mother of all disappointments. I couldn't have been more wrong. Oh, don't be mistaken - the Best Buy was a total waste of time, but the bigger disappointments were still to come. We crossed the street to Target, which was 10 minutes away from closing - disappointment number 2. We opted to continue on to Meijer rather than feel rushed by pushy sales associates in Target, anxious to get home to their sins and vices. It took us 15 minutes to find the Meijer, which ended up being approximately 150 yards away from the Target parking lot. As we approached the entrance to Meijer, my heart leaped for joy, as it appeared to be of the same layout as the Meijer back home, which I love dearly. It took me one minute to discover that this Meijer was nothing like the one back home. As Jeff and I walked down the main isle, it was hard to walk next to each other, as the isle was extremely narrow. When we arrived in the toy department, we discovered only 5 Star Wars action figures on the shelves. The electronics department proved to be just as fruitless.
When we entered the grocery store portion of the store, I decided to take reparations for the waste of my time in the form of "free samples" from the balk candy section. The silver lining was that Jeff managed to find a sale on Skittles. As we walked to the car, we discovered a caucasian gentleman parked next to us, sitting in his car smoking (with the windows closed) and listening to rap music. We avoided eye contact and drove quickly to the gas station on the other end of the parking lot to acquire supplies for the return trip to East Lansing. As we got out of the car, I noticed the gentleman that had been parked next to us driving by slowly. Words cannot express the terror I felt. We entered the gas station and I bought a Diet Pepsi and super sized Reese's cup. I watched our would-be murderer purchase a pornographic magazine, a case of booze, and a pack of smokes. Immediately, I knew that this man had more important things to do than kill two god-fearing patriotic Americans. I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. After the elderly woman at the checkout counter made an advance on me, we fled to the car. It was time to put as much distance between us and Brighton as humanly possible. As we sped toward the highway, we were passed by a bus that looked like it belonged on a bombed-out Baghdad street. There was not real point in that part of the story, I just thought it was an odd looking bus.
As we passed Brighton from a safe distance on the highway, we flipped it the one-finger salute. The trip was not a complete waste. We were returning home with Skittles, pop, and a computer - though the journey that we had to endure to retrieve these items made us pause to savor them just a little more.
The drive to Howell was an eventful one, which found Jeff and I arguing over the dark secrets of characters from Winnie the Pooh. You see, I insist that Piglet is a closet homosexual, struggling with the feelings he is having for Pooh. Jeff insists that I'm just an asshole - maybe I am, but I think Piglet has some issues that he needs to deal with. When we finally pulled into the McDonald's where we were to meet Jeff's dad, I think Jeff was relieved to be getting out of the car. Long story short, we spent about an hour in McDonald's with Jeff's dad and his computer. Finally, we were ready to get to the real reason for our trip: commerce. We set out for greener pastures in the business strip of Brighton. We pulled off each exit we came to, hoping that maybe this would promise Star Wars action figures and other discount items.
When we finally did find Brighton, it was close to 10pm. Our first stop was Best Buy. After the most terrifying left turn of my life, we wound through the parking lot towards our destination. One look at this particular branch of the Best Buy empire told me that this would be the mother of all disappointments. I couldn't have been more wrong. Oh, don't be mistaken - the Best Buy was a total waste of time, but the bigger disappointments were still to come. We crossed the street to Target, which was 10 minutes away from closing - disappointment number 2. We opted to continue on to Meijer rather than feel rushed by pushy sales associates in Target, anxious to get home to their sins and vices. It took us 15 minutes to find the Meijer, which ended up being approximately 150 yards away from the Target parking lot. As we approached the entrance to Meijer, my heart leaped for joy, as it appeared to be of the same layout as the Meijer back home, which I love dearly. It took me one minute to discover that this Meijer was nothing like the one back home. As Jeff and I walked down the main isle, it was hard to walk next to each other, as the isle was extremely narrow. When we arrived in the toy department, we discovered only 5 Star Wars action figures on the shelves. The electronics department proved to be just as fruitless.
When we entered the grocery store portion of the store, I decided to take reparations for the waste of my time in the form of "free samples" from the balk candy section. The silver lining was that Jeff managed to find a sale on Skittles. As we walked to the car, we discovered a caucasian gentleman parked next to us, sitting in his car smoking (with the windows closed) and listening to rap music. We avoided eye contact and drove quickly to the gas station on the other end of the parking lot to acquire supplies for the return trip to East Lansing. As we got out of the car, I noticed the gentleman that had been parked next to us driving by slowly. Words cannot express the terror I felt. We entered the gas station and I bought a Diet Pepsi and super sized Reese's cup. I watched our would-be murderer purchase a pornographic magazine, a case of booze, and a pack of smokes. Immediately, I knew that this man had more important things to do than kill two god-fearing patriotic Americans. I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. After the elderly woman at the checkout counter made an advance on me, we fled to the car. It was time to put as much distance between us and Brighton as humanly possible. As we sped toward the highway, we were passed by a bus that looked like it belonged on a bombed-out Baghdad street. There was not real point in that part of the story, I just thought it was an odd looking bus.
As we passed Brighton from a safe distance on the highway, we flipped it the one-finger salute. The trip was not a complete waste. We were returning home with Skittles, pop, and a computer - though the journey that we had to endure to retrieve these items made us pause to savor them just a little more.