If We Ever Meet Again
Title: If We Ever Meet Again
Author: bonamanamina
Genre: Comedy & Romance
Pairings: 2min, OnTae, & Jongkey
Rating: PG
Summary: If you are going to have a chance to meet again you're past love, that you still love until now, what are you going to do? Are you going to allow him to return to your life? Are you going to take him back?
Minho was once left by the one he loved the most in his life. He tried to search for him but he didn't found him. There wasn't a single clue left saying where he can find him. He just banished one night and didn't come back. He was so hurt and lost. After a week of being banished he received a letter from someone. He opened it and he's so sure it was from his love. After reading the letter, he ordered everyone to stop the search for his love. A year after, he decided to move on and search for someone who can give him the happiness he wanted. He then decided to move to Korea and continued his high school in a top level, yet not so expensive Academy. There he met four top honored students who became his friends. Though he likes all of them, there was one particular person who’s the brightest of them all that caught his heart. Is that person will be the person will help him to move on and find his happiness?
On the other hand, there is Jonghyun who was deeply madly in love with Key. Unfortunately, he has to give up his love for Key and tried to find someone else who will try to make him forgot his feelings for him. But he planed failed and decided to fight for him. Is he going to succeed or this will just make them separate from each other?
A/N: Let's just say LJ is MOCKER! that didnt allow me to post...until now...so sorry if it's not in a nice font..(lol!)
and...I'M SOOOOOOO SOOORYYY!!!for supa dupa late update!let's just say again that, i'm a busy woman...and the fruit of my hardwork is distraction, amnesia and the best of all of it...no internet for more than a week...then put some major major major headache that i am expiriencing for 7 times a week...lol!exaggerating!but seriously, i'm often having headaches these days...and it's bothering me...and also, my desease of forgetting things are getting worst these days...before, i only have Taemin baby's sickness(w/c is he's always misplacing his phone..)...ugh, gonna see a doctor...
yeah, yeah, i know!reason reason reason reason...fine i'll stop!with my nonsenses!(lol!)
this is the part 1, i just hope this made sense...enjoy reading!^^v
Interlude 1
Behind The Scene
Jonghyun despite of his very young age, he already knows that what he wants is Key and Key only. He likes Onew and Taemin too, but he likes Key more because she’s beautiful. Yes, the four year old Jonghyun thinks that Key is a girl. He kept telling to himself that Key is a beautiful princess and he’s the handsome and rightful prince charming for Key. So, he’s taking good care of Key like how the prince in the fairytales would do. He would protect him from bullies, serving him, bringing him flowers, always telling him how beautiful he was, and always calling him “My princess”.
Key, on the other hand dislike what Jonghyun was doing. He hates it when Jonghyun calling him beautiful. He hates it when he prefers him as “she” or “her”. And he totally hates it when he’s giving him flowers and calling him “My Princess”. He can't remember when or why Jonghyun did start to treats him like that. Though he keep on explaining him that he’s a boy and not a girl, but the hard headed dinosaur just don’t want to believe and just laughing at him telling him,
“Don’t joke at me like that my princess. It’s not nice for a beautiful girl like you to talk like that. Really Key, you can't fool me.”
There’s never been a day that Key didn’t snap at him. There’s also not a day that they will not argue even in a small single thing.
So just imagine how Jonghyun felt betrayed and broken hearted one day when Key stayed on their place for two consecutive days. Key’s parents had to attend a seminar in Jeju Island, so they asked Jonghyun’s parents if they can take care of him for two days. At first Jonghyun was so happy because he can be with his princess for two days and they can play together, without parents going to call them to go home. The first day went well. They invite Taemin and Onew to play with them. After dinner, the two went home while Key and Jonghyun continued playing until Jonghyun’s mom stopped them and told them that it’s already bedtime. So, they went in the bathroom, brush their teeth, wash their face and change into pajama and went to bed.
The next day arrived and Jonghyun’s face is plastered by a big grin. He woke up with Key hugging him. He kissed Key’s forehead and wake him up because he wants to spend the whole day with him to play. After breakfast, Jonghyun’s mother called them to have a bath. His mother prepared their baths, with little duckies floating on the water. Jonghyun seeing the duckies on the tub made him so exited. He immediately removes his dress. Not long after, he saw Key came inside the bathroom. He immediately pulled Key near the tub and told him to strip immediately so they can play now in the bathtub with his favorite duckies. Key took his time on stripping himself. While he’s removing his dress one by one, Jonghyun already hopped in the bathtub and played with his duckies. Key slowly put his self in the tub. Jonghyun noticed it so he looked up to be faced with Key’s naked body. He looked from his legs to his head but return to looked at his crotch. Key sat and relaxed his self in the water. He looked at the frozen Jonghyun, wondering what happen to him. So he asked him what’s wrong and this is what the naïve four year old Kim Jonghyun had said,
“Why do you have birdie?” birdie is what Jonghyun's father answered him when one time he asked his father what they call on this particular part of the body.
“Birdie?” Key replied still confused.
“Why do you have that?” he said pointing at Key’s “birdie” “Only boys have that. “You should have the one the same as Hyuna.” Key closed his eyes and clenched his fist with gritting teeth. But calmed down and sighed.
“Because Jjong, I am a boy. I am a boy like you.” He explained carefully.
This made Jonghyun opened his mouth agape and when he’s back to reality, he jumped out of the tub, out of the bathroom and run to his mom and told her everything. After some minutes, Key, who is still enjoying the warmness of the water, heard a loud scream from Jonghyun saying ‘noooooooo!’ disappearing from the first floor. He assumed he’s now in his room.
After enjoying the bathe that he had, he put on his clothes on and then knocked the door of his stupid dinosaur best friend. He knocked the door but Jonghyun didn’t opened the door, so he just talked behind the door explaining and telling him that Jonghyun's the only one who’s insisting that he’s a boy so, he’s the only one who betrayed his self. Harsh, yes, he’s being harsh; and not long after, the dinosaur went out of the room and hugged his friend saying he will stop now the “Princess treatment” and that he will be a good friend for him, realizing that Key was right. This is how Key fixed the problem that he is a boy and not a girl.
It was his 14th birthday when Jonghyun kidnapped him from his party and dragged him to the nearest park in their neighborhood. It was evening already and most of Key’s visitor already went home. So, it doesn’t matter if Key will be out of the party. The sky was full of stars, a beautiful sight indeed. Key asked him why he dragged him in the park at this hour.
“Because, I want to show you something.” He said smiling sweetly at Key.
He then saw a mat nicely placed on the grass and they were facing the pond with a big tree behind them. They both sat down on the mat and looked in front of them.
“What do you want me to see?” Key asked, titling his head a little, obviously curious for what Jonghyun was talking about, and at the same time he’s anticipating too much for whatever it is Jonghyun prepared.
Even though, Jonghyun stops giving him the princess treatment, he still treat him as a girl and sometimes like a girlfriend being so sweet and romantic. This just made Key furious at first but just get over it after sometime. So, blame Jonghyun for his diva attitude, and being so feminine.
Jonghyun holds his hand and intertwined it with his. He’s used to this. Key’s used to Jonghyun's obsession on skin ship. Jonghyun holding his hand, hugging him, playing with his fingers, putting arms across shoulders…he’s so used to this that it’s already a part of his life. It’s like his day is not complete without Jonghyun's touch. Jonghyun feels the same too, for him Key is like a drug, so addicting that he can't get enough of him. And every time their skin will touch, there will be a sparks that making a sudden question popping into their minds,
‘Why do I feel like my heart will jump out of my chest? And what is this feeling like there’s something in my stomach that tickling me?’
Jonghyun played with Key’s fingers, his favorite thing to do when he’s nervous. He didn’t say anything until Key was startle by the sound of the fireworks. Key looked at the place where the sound came from and was mesmerized by the colorful fireworks display. When Key was busy watching the beautiful fireworks display, Jonghyun went to take his gift. After the display, Key looked at him with an expression asking for explanation. So he started,
“I heard that the next village was holding a fireworks display tonight that’s why I brought you here. The effort I made was to tell everybody to not tell you about this.” This earns him a suffocating hug. They enjoy each other’s warmth for a minute then they parted. Jonghyun now gave Key his gifts; he first gave him a piece of yellow rose with a red color on the tip.
“I know, I shouldn’t give you flowers, since you are a boy, but I just found this rose beautiful and it reminds me of you so I bought it. I hope you accept this.” He said and handed him the rose. Key took the rose and murmured a shy ‘thank you’.
“And this, sorry if this is the only thing I can give you by now, but promise in the future I will buy for you whatever gift you want.” He said and hands him a handmade keychain, it’s a dinosaur hugging a big key. Key accepts the gift with wide smile.
"Thanks again Jonghyun."
Jonghyun didn't know why. He didn't know why he did it. He just felt his body move by itself. Key on the other hand was shocked he didn't expect that Jonghyun would do that. But it felt good. Jonghyun's lips on his felt so damn good. So he responded into the kiss by sucking Jonghyun's lower lips which startle Jonghyun and return them back to reality.
They felt awkward, of course but this kiss brought them closer and creates an unspoken upgrade in their relationship. Key knows, and confirmed to himself after the kiss that he’s gay and head over heels in love with Jonghyun. A year after, the relationship of the two is really like they are dating; sometimes they are like husbands and wife. So close that everyone around them starts to wonder what kind of relationship they are holding now. And when I say everyone, this includes their parents. They are intrigue by why are their sons acting that way to each other. And since, they are PARENTS, they are curious and JUST worried for their children so they asked their sons about it.
Jonghyun's parents are open-minded. So when Jonghyun told them that he's in love with Key, and wanted their relationship official and legal, both his parents accepted and support him to whatever decisions he'll make.
On the contrary, Key's parents or should I specify, Key's mom, is not so open and supported like Jonghyun’s mom. The only person Kibum thinks that will understand him and trust him the most. The very last person he expects to judge him and threat him of disowning him was the one who’s breaking his heart into two.
It was a cold rainy evening. Kibum doesn’t understand why but he feels like this evening is going to be the worst evening of his life. It’s like it was him the one crying and not the sky. Suddenly, the door of his room slowly opened and he was greeted by his smiling lovely mother. He doesn’t know why he feels weird today, especially when he saw his mother. Usually, if ever he feels like this, he will just go see and talk with his mom and everything will be okay. Even just by looking at his mom, it’s like all of his trouble are gone. But today was rather different. It didn’t ease, it’s like it worsted. He smiled back at his mom and make space on his study table for the tray that contains two cups of tea.
His mom and dad are both professor and researcher, so they don’t have that much time for Kibum. But they are still trying to spend time with him. His dad would ask him to make massage for him, cook for him, make for him coffee, if he have plenty of time, they will play Wii, or ps3. As of his mom, she will cook for him, bring him with her to shopping, and every night, if she’s ever at her house, she will bring for him milk or tea while he’s studying and have a little chit chat with him. She’s doing this especially when she and her husband are leaving to go some faraway place that will take days to comeback.
So, even though Mrs. Kim was not always with her son, she still knows what’s happening to him, what’s new or what his problems are. Sometimes, Kibum tries to hide something from her but it only takes a minute for him to spill it, she has methods. And that’s what she used tonight for Kibum to spill everything.
“Umma, I- I,” he stuttered. He’s not sure how to tell her.
“Don’t worry Kibum. Just tell me so you’ll feel better. Hm?” she said as she caresses Kibum’s cheeks, where she very well knows as Kibum’s weakness. Kibum leaned into the touch. He really like when his mother doing this. It’s like she’s putting a spell on him by the touch and making him so comfortable and be able to take out his courage. Mrs. Kim holds both Kibum’s shoulder and asked him to continue. Kibum looked down on the floor like the answer is already there ready to be read. He then lift his head, took a deep breath and say,
“I’m… I’m gay umma.” This made a loud gasp from his mother. But she kept her composure and tried to remain calm tough his fist is becoming white because of too much grip on the bed sheet.
“How did you say so?” she asked, trying hard to not scare his son by hearing her gritting teeth.
“Because, I’m in love with Jonghyun, for almost a year now.” He replied. Looking now on the floor, scared and his face still blushing for what he just said. Because actually, she was the first one he told about it, the first person he confessed about his secret. Kibum suddenly looked up when she heard his mother say,
“Are the both of you dating?” Mrs. Kim is now angry, that she thinks that she’ll explode any minute. ‘How could he? After all the suffering I did? This is all he can give?’ was all in her mind right now.
“What? No…we… I don’t know…”
“What the hell Kibum!” she can't take it anymore. She have to explode, she have to tell it, she have to tell him that what he’s doing was wrong before it’s too late. But how does loving someone become wrong?
“Umma…” he’s trembling now, he suddenly feels weak. He can't believe that his mother just shouted at him. She never shouted at him unless he did some little mistake. But his mother never shouted at him like this with too much anger.
“Kibum, I didn’t raise you to become gay and fell in love with Jonghyun!”
“But I didn’t choose to be like this. It just happens umma, believe me.” He begs as his tears roll down his perfect face. Now, he understands why he feels weird…because of this.
“Listen to me carefully Kibum. I want you to cut all your ties with Jonghyun. I don’t want to see you talking to him or be with him. And I want you to forget about you being gay! Do you understand?!”
“But umma…how can I do that? I love him, I love Jonghy-” he suddenly feels like his right cheeks burning. ‘Did umma just slap me?’ he thought as he came to caress his now red cheek. Then suddenly when she realized what she had done, she calmed down a bit but still anger didn’t leave her system.
“Kibum-ah, you are still young. You are just confused. Don’t say you are in love because you are not. And especially don’t say you are gay because definitely you are not. You are just confused and it’s normal to feel and think about it.”
“But I umma, I know what I feel and it’s not confusion.”
“Listen Kibum, you will just hurt your feelings. You are not in love with him and that’s final.”
“It’s easy to say it’s done, but it’s hard to do umma. I thought, of all the people around me, you will be the first one who will accept and understand me. You are the least person that I think will judge me.” Kibum managed to say nicely.
“I am doing this for you, because in the end you will just hurt yourself. Kibum, you very know that the society is still not accepting this kind of sexuality right? Please understand it.”
“I am trying to understand, and you know what I understand in this whole scenario? I understand that you are ashamed and disappointed of me because I am gay. Well, good news to you mother, I also feel the same. I’m so disappointed of you.” This receives another slap from his mother.
“It’s either you will stay away from him Kibum or forget you have parents.”
“How could you umma?” he cried more. He just can't believe that she’s threatening him to be disowned.
“As I’ve said it’s for you. Well choose now. If ever you will choose us, start to pack your things.”
“What?”
“We’re going to move within this week.” Kibum suddenly feels week, when he heard this. Isn’t this too much? He love this place, he grew up here. All of his memories, and all of the persons he loves, the person he loves, is here. He just can't leave, he just can't.
“Alright umma,” he said kneeling in front of his mother. “I will never talk to him. I will never come near him. I will forget that I am gay. Just, let’s not move? I will do everything you will say. Please umma, please.” His mother softened her look to her son. She suddenly feels guilty. How did they become like this? How did she become a heartless mother? But it’s for her son’s good. She sighs, she don’t want to see Kibum like this. She doesn’t want to see him crying and hurting.
“You have one week.” She said as she turns around.
“Umma,” the tears continued to flow down on his cheeks.
“You have one week to show me that you will prove your words.” And with that she closed the door. Kibum cried harder. He cried with heaven.
Jonghyun didn’t know how he will confess, is it by letter? Should he take Key to a nice place? But then he thought that he don’t have big amount with him to be oh so romantic. He doesn’t want to ask any of his parent’s money, because it’s him who’s going to confess not his parents. He then just then decided to bring him to the park, where he kissed him a year ago. He faced Key with confidence. He knows and he feels that Key have feelings for him too. So he went to Key’s house with a confident smile and aura. He was just kind of disappointed when he Key greeted him with shock and sad expression.
“What are doing here Jonghyun?” Key asked and looked behind him to see if ever his mom is around or could see him.
“I want to take you with me somewhere. Can you come with me?” Jonghyun smiled. Key melted in that smile and felt sad at the same time. He can't go out and talk with Jonghyun. He has to keep his promise.
“Where and why?”
“I want … to tell you something.”
“You can tell me here.” He said and invites him inside.
“No, I can't, I mean I want to tell it to you somewhere.”
“I said you can tell it here.” Key said with blank face.
“Alright, can I come in?”
“Sure, but make it quick.” He supposed to push him away but maybe it’s also his chance to tell him that they should not talk with each other from now on.
“So, what you want to say?”
“I know, it’s weird but. I need to tell it to you now.”
“Just say it.” Key said kind of impatient.
“I love you Key. I want to date you. I want to be your boyfriend.”
Key’s eyes widened. Did Jonghyun just confessed to him? He really wants to say yes. But he can't. Or else they will lose each other for good. ‘Kibum, reject him quick! Think of something!’
“I-I’m sorry Jonghyun, but I can't accept your feelings for me. You’re just like a brother to me. No more, no less.” He lied. He wanted him so bad. But he’s doing this for the both of them right? He looked at the floor trying to fix his expression. He tried to look blank and faces Jonghyun again. On the other side, Jonghyun looked like him agape. He smiled bitterly and said,
“Key, you’re lying right? I know you have feelings for me too. I know because that night…that night when we…you…” he can't finish what he wants to say because he starts to tear up. Key looked away. He can't take to see Jonghyun crying. It will make him cry too.
“Now that you brought that up, that night, it’s not supposed to happen. Whatever happens that night, I forgot about it so you should too. Besides, we’re both boys Jonghyun, isn’t it weird for the both of us to be together?
“But feelings are the one that matters right?”
“For you, it is maybe but for me no.” He said trying hard not to cry with Jonghyun. Then he continued, “You know what, maybe it’s better if we will not be talking to each other until you moved on. Just talk to me again if you forget about that feeling you feel for me.” Key said and stands up to go back to his room. But his tracks suddenly stopped when he felt a pair of arms held his waist. He looked up and saw his mother watching them. Key successfully escaped from Jonghyun's grip and said,
“Jonghyun, go home and forget about what you feel about me. I don’t love you like you do and I will never do. I’m not…” he stopped. How can he lie about who he really is? “I’m…I’m not gay like you. So get out of my house and never talk to me again. With that, he runs to his room to be faced his mother.
“Good job Kibum.” Is all what she said and left the room to leave her son alone. After the door closed, his legs suddenly feel weak so he falls on the floor and start to cry his heart out. He’s so hurt. He just wished that his mother is right. That he will eventually forget his feelings for Jonghyun.
‘I’m sorry Jonghyun. But it’s for the both of us.’
Mrs. Kim continued with her plan. It’s not only her son who’s going to be hurt, but also Jonghyun. Jonghyun is a nice kid. He’s polite, smart and handsome. If ever that her Kibum is a girl, she will never be against to their relationship. But the situation is different. Jonghyun and Kibum are both boys, and these kinds of relationship will never be accepted, either by the other people or her. So, before the fire gets stronger, she has to stop it. She decided to invite Jonghyun in a lunch the next day to talk about it. And as she predicted, Jonghyun disagreed about it.
“I want to ask you something and I don’t want you to lie to me.” She said after the waitress put their orders on the table. Jonghyun suddenly feels nervous and he doesn’t have Kibum’s hand to play with. He suddenly felt how bad his life would be that Kibum was out of his life now.
“Okay auntie, ask it to me please.” He said politely and drinks his iced tea. He’s hoping that she will talk about him and Kibum, hoping that she will tell him that she will help him to take Kibum back in his life.
“I will ask it straight, do you love my son?” Jonghyun almost choke out all the liquids in his mouth. It’s a good thing that he manage to swallow it immediately. ‘She’s really Kibum’s mom. She’s too much straight forward.’ He thought and wiped his lips and at the same time he wonders why she asked it.
“Yes, I love Kibum auntie.” He said without stuttering. He’s really curious now.
“Do you love him more than a friend?”
“Y-yes auntie.” He said and looked at her piercing eyes. He suddenly feel regret on telling to Mrs. Kim the truth.
“How do you say so?” Jonghyun looked on the table, as if the answer is there.
“I-I don’t know. How can I explain it? What I know is that, every time I’m with him, it was the happiest moment of my life. That I wish the time would just stop. Every time we will be separated, I feel like I have to see him again. It’s like my life would be nothing without him.” Mrs. Kim suddenly feels guilty and weak on doing her plan. But it’s for the sake of both of them. They are still young and whatever they are feeling now is just starting, so it will be easy for the both of them to forget about it and the damage will not be big unlike the pain they will receive in the future by the people around them who’s going to humiliate and discriminate them.
“I know that what I am going to say will hurt you and might not believe me. But this is for your own good.” She looks straight to him and he did the same. “You are just confused of what you are feeling. You don’t love him. You are a guy and so as Kibum. You both like girls and will date girls.” Jonghyun looked at her with hurt.
“You might see my son kind of feminine and you might still think that he’s a girl but, he’s a boy like you. You see, my son might always with you and kind to you, and I don’t know if you are thinking that my son love you too but, sorry to disappoint you. My son doesn’t love you. And I don’t want him to confuse his self like you are now.” Jonghyun balled his fist on his lap.
“But, I’m not confused. I am sure of-”
“I want you to leave Kibum alone.” Jonghyun looked at her with shocked and hurt expression.
“Hahaha, you are joking at me aren’t you auntie.” He laughed sadly. He’s so disappointed. The lady that he treats like his mom is hurting him, telling him to leave Kibum. But how? How can he let go of his life? His oxygen?
“I want you to leave him alone.”
“I can't auntie. I’m afraid I can't.”
“Then, you say it. You may say your goodbye to him tonight.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’re going to move within this week.”
“Auntie…”
“Say your last goodbye to him.” With that, she stands up and supposed to leave when her wrist was pulled, and when she turn around she saw Jonghyun kneeling in front of her. Just like what her son did.
All the people are looking at them but Jonghyun didn’t care. What he cares now is Kibum. He can't afford to lose him. He’s his life. Kibum being far away from him even for a second drives him crazy already, how about him being so far away from him?
“Jonghyun, stand up!” Mrs. Kim hissed and tried to pull Jonghyun up. But Jonghyun didn’t budge and stayed kneeled on the floor.
“Please auntie, don’t do this. If you don’t want me to be near Kibum, it’s alright. I can take it. Just don’t take him away from me. I promise, I will stay away from him. Just don’t take him away from me. I am begging you auntie. I am begging you.” He begged until the woman in front of him sat to match his level.
“I wish you will stick to that promise like a man.” Is what she said and left, leaving Jonghyun on the floor kneeling with both cheeks wet from his tears.
‘Damn you Jonghyun. You’re so week. You’re so stupid. You don’t deserve Kibum.’
A/N 2: This is supposed to be one part...but fortunately, i enjoyed writting their past(that i even forgot that i supposed to write OnTaeMin shot, and it's stil undone so wait again..sorry!T^T) so it turns out to be 15-17 pages...and i know livejournal will say that it's too much long whatsoever that's why i divide it in to two...what the hecks wrong with livejournal?if it's not too much long, i cant post in reach text..!ugh!and so...since this is jongkey again, i will not post the part 2 until i finished the OnTaeMin shot...yeah i know!I SHOULD FREEKIN' MEET MY DEADLINES! but what can i do? if i'm not a lazy ass, i'm unfortunate...so sorry sorry too much!TT^TT
anyway, comments are always loved!^^v
( Previous Next)
Author: bonamanamina
Genre: Comedy & Romance
Pairings: 2min, OnTae, & Jongkey
Rating: PG
Summary: If you are going to have a chance to meet again you're past love, that you still love until now, what are you going to do? Are you going to allow him to return to your life? Are you going to take him back?
Minho was once left by the one he loved the most in his life. He tried to search for him but he didn't found him. There wasn't a single clue left saying where he can find him. He just banished one night and didn't come back. He was so hurt and lost. After a week of being banished he received a letter from someone. He opened it and he's so sure it was from his love. After reading the letter, he ordered everyone to stop the search for his love. A year after, he decided to move on and search for someone who can give him the happiness he wanted. He then decided to move to Korea and continued his high school in a top level, yet not so expensive Academy. There he met four top honored students who became his friends. Though he likes all of them, there was one particular person who’s the brightest of them all that caught his heart. Is that person will be the person will help him to move on and find his happiness?
On the other hand, there is Jonghyun who was deeply madly in love with Key. Unfortunately, he has to give up his love for Key and tried to find someone else who will try to make him forgot his feelings for him. But he planed failed and decided to fight for him. Is he going to succeed or this will just make them separate from each other?
A/N: Let's just say LJ is MOCKER! that didnt allow me to post...until now...so sorry if it's not in a nice font..(lol!)
and...I'M SOOOOOOO SOOORYYY!!!for supa dupa late update!let's just say again that, i'm a busy woman...and the fruit of my hardwork is distraction, amnesia and the best of all of it...no internet for more than a week...then put some major major major headache that i am expiriencing for 7 times a week...lol!exaggerating!but seriously, i'm often having headaches these days...and it's bothering me...and also, my desease of forgetting things are getting worst these days...before, i only have Taemin baby's sickness(w/c is he's always misplacing his phone..)...ugh, gonna see a doctor...
yeah, yeah, i know!reason reason reason reason...fine i'll stop!with my nonsenses!(lol!)
this is the part 1, i just hope this made sense...enjoy reading!^^v
Interlude 1
Behind The Scene
Jonghyun despite of his very young age, he already knows that what he wants is Key and Key only. He likes Onew and Taemin too, but he likes Key more because she’s beautiful. Yes, the four year old Jonghyun thinks that Key is a girl. He kept telling to himself that Key is a beautiful princess and he’s the handsome and rightful prince charming for Key. So, he’s taking good care of Key like how the prince in the fairytales would do. He would protect him from bullies, serving him, bringing him flowers, always telling him how beautiful he was, and always calling him “My princess”.
Key, on the other hand dislike what Jonghyun was doing. He hates it when Jonghyun calling him beautiful. He hates it when he prefers him as “she” or “her”. And he totally hates it when he’s giving him flowers and calling him “My Princess”. He can't remember when or why Jonghyun did start to treats him like that. Though he keep on explaining him that he’s a boy and not a girl, but the hard headed dinosaur just don’t want to believe and just laughing at him telling him,
“Don’t joke at me like that my princess. It’s not nice for a beautiful girl like you to talk like that. Really Key, you can't fool me.”
There’s never been a day that Key didn’t snap at him. There’s also not a day that they will not argue even in a small single thing.
So just imagine how Jonghyun felt betrayed and broken hearted one day when Key stayed on their place for two consecutive days. Key’s parents had to attend a seminar in Jeju Island, so they asked Jonghyun’s parents if they can take care of him for two days. At first Jonghyun was so happy because he can be with his princess for two days and they can play together, without parents going to call them to go home. The first day went well. They invite Taemin and Onew to play with them. After dinner, the two went home while Key and Jonghyun continued playing until Jonghyun’s mom stopped them and told them that it’s already bedtime. So, they went in the bathroom, brush their teeth, wash their face and change into pajama and went to bed.
The next day arrived and Jonghyun’s face is plastered by a big grin. He woke up with Key hugging him. He kissed Key’s forehead and wake him up because he wants to spend the whole day with him to play. After breakfast, Jonghyun’s mother called them to have a bath. His mother prepared their baths, with little duckies floating on the water. Jonghyun seeing the duckies on the tub made him so exited. He immediately removes his dress. Not long after, he saw Key came inside the bathroom. He immediately pulled Key near the tub and told him to strip immediately so they can play now in the bathtub with his favorite duckies. Key took his time on stripping himself. While he’s removing his dress one by one, Jonghyun already hopped in the bathtub and played with his duckies. Key slowly put his self in the tub. Jonghyun noticed it so he looked up to be faced with Key’s naked body. He looked from his legs to his head but return to looked at his crotch. Key sat and relaxed his self in the water. He looked at the frozen Jonghyun, wondering what happen to him. So he asked him what’s wrong and this is what the naïve four year old Kim Jonghyun had said,
“Why do you have birdie?” birdie is what Jonghyun's father answered him when one time he asked his father what they call on this particular part of the body.
“Birdie?” Key replied still confused.
“Why do you have that?” he said pointing at Key’s “birdie” “Only boys have that. “You should have the one the same as Hyuna.” Key closed his eyes and clenched his fist with gritting teeth. But calmed down and sighed.
“Because Jjong, I am a boy. I am a boy like you.” He explained carefully.
This made Jonghyun opened his mouth agape and when he’s back to reality, he jumped out of the tub, out of the bathroom and run to his mom and told her everything. After some minutes, Key, who is still enjoying the warmness of the water, heard a loud scream from Jonghyun saying ‘noooooooo!’ disappearing from the first floor. He assumed he’s now in his room.
After enjoying the bathe that he had, he put on his clothes on and then knocked the door of his stupid dinosaur best friend. He knocked the door but Jonghyun didn’t opened the door, so he just talked behind the door explaining and telling him that Jonghyun's the only one who’s insisting that he’s a boy so, he’s the only one who betrayed his self. Harsh, yes, he’s being harsh; and not long after, the dinosaur went out of the room and hugged his friend saying he will stop now the “Princess treatment” and that he will be a good friend for him, realizing that Key was right. This is how Key fixed the problem that he is a boy and not a girl.
It was his 14th birthday when Jonghyun kidnapped him from his party and dragged him to the nearest park in their neighborhood. It was evening already and most of Key’s visitor already went home. So, it doesn’t matter if Key will be out of the party. The sky was full of stars, a beautiful sight indeed. Key asked him why he dragged him in the park at this hour.
“Because, I want to show you something.” He said smiling sweetly at Key.
He then saw a mat nicely placed on the grass and they were facing the pond with a big tree behind them. They both sat down on the mat and looked in front of them.
“What do you want me to see?” Key asked, titling his head a little, obviously curious for what Jonghyun was talking about, and at the same time he’s anticipating too much for whatever it is Jonghyun prepared.
Even though, Jonghyun stops giving him the princess treatment, he still treat him as a girl and sometimes like a girlfriend being so sweet and romantic. This just made Key furious at first but just get over it after sometime. So, blame Jonghyun for his diva attitude, and being so feminine.
Jonghyun holds his hand and intertwined it with his. He’s used to this. Key’s used to Jonghyun's obsession on skin ship. Jonghyun holding his hand, hugging him, playing with his fingers, putting arms across shoulders…he’s so used to this that it’s already a part of his life. It’s like his day is not complete without Jonghyun's touch. Jonghyun feels the same too, for him Key is like a drug, so addicting that he can't get enough of him. And every time their skin will touch, there will be a sparks that making a sudden question popping into their minds,
‘Why do I feel like my heart will jump out of my chest? And what is this feeling like there’s something in my stomach that tickling me?’
Jonghyun played with Key’s fingers, his favorite thing to do when he’s nervous. He didn’t say anything until Key was startle by the sound of the fireworks. Key looked at the place where the sound came from and was mesmerized by the colorful fireworks display. When Key was busy watching the beautiful fireworks display, Jonghyun went to take his gift. After the display, Key looked at him with an expression asking for explanation. So he started,
“I heard that the next village was holding a fireworks display tonight that’s why I brought you here. The effort I made was to tell everybody to not tell you about this.” This earns him a suffocating hug. They enjoy each other’s warmth for a minute then they parted. Jonghyun now gave Key his gifts; he first gave him a piece of yellow rose with a red color on the tip.
“I know, I shouldn’t give you flowers, since you are a boy, but I just found this rose beautiful and it reminds me of you so I bought it. I hope you accept this.” He said and handed him the rose. Key took the rose and murmured a shy ‘thank you’.
“And this, sorry if this is the only thing I can give you by now, but promise in the future I will buy for you whatever gift you want.” He said and hands him a handmade keychain, it’s a dinosaur hugging a big key. Key accepts the gift with wide smile.
"Thanks again Jonghyun."
Jonghyun didn't know why. He didn't know why he did it. He just felt his body move by itself. Key on the other hand was shocked he didn't expect that Jonghyun would do that. But it felt good. Jonghyun's lips on his felt so damn good. So he responded into the kiss by sucking Jonghyun's lower lips which startle Jonghyun and return them back to reality.
They felt awkward, of course but this kiss brought them closer and creates an unspoken upgrade in their relationship. Key knows, and confirmed to himself after the kiss that he’s gay and head over heels in love with Jonghyun. A year after, the relationship of the two is really like they are dating; sometimes they are like husbands and wife. So close that everyone around them starts to wonder what kind of relationship they are holding now. And when I say everyone, this includes their parents. They are intrigue by why are their sons acting that way to each other. And since, they are PARENTS, they are curious and JUST worried for their children so they asked their sons about it.
Jonghyun's parents are open-minded. So when Jonghyun told them that he's in love with Key, and wanted their relationship official and legal, both his parents accepted and support him to whatever decisions he'll make.
On the contrary, Key's parents or should I specify, Key's mom, is not so open and supported like Jonghyun’s mom. The only person Kibum thinks that will understand him and trust him the most. The very last person he expects to judge him and threat him of disowning him was the one who’s breaking his heart into two.
It was a cold rainy evening. Kibum doesn’t understand why but he feels like this evening is going to be the worst evening of his life. It’s like it was him the one crying and not the sky. Suddenly, the door of his room slowly opened and he was greeted by his smiling lovely mother. He doesn’t know why he feels weird today, especially when he saw his mother. Usually, if ever he feels like this, he will just go see and talk with his mom and everything will be okay. Even just by looking at his mom, it’s like all of his trouble are gone. But today was rather different. It didn’t ease, it’s like it worsted. He smiled back at his mom and make space on his study table for the tray that contains two cups of tea.
His mom and dad are both professor and researcher, so they don’t have that much time for Kibum. But they are still trying to spend time with him. His dad would ask him to make massage for him, cook for him, make for him coffee, if he have plenty of time, they will play Wii, or ps3. As of his mom, she will cook for him, bring him with her to shopping, and every night, if she’s ever at her house, she will bring for him milk or tea while he’s studying and have a little chit chat with him. She’s doing this especially when she and her husband are leaving to go some faraway place that will take days to comeback.
So, even though Mrs. Kim was not always with her son, she still knows what’s happening to him, what’s new or what his problems are. Sometimes, Kibum tries to hide something from her but it only takes a minute for him to spill it, she has methods. And that’s what she used tonight for Kibum to spill everything.
“Umma, I- I,” he stuttered. He’s not sure how to tell her.
“Don’t worry Kibum. Just tell me so you’ll feel better. Hm?” she said as she caresses Kibum’s cheeks, where she very well knows as Kibum’s weakness. Kibum leaned into the touch. He really like when his mother doing this. It’s like she’s putting a spell on him by the touch and making him so comfortable and be able to take out his courage. Mrs. Kim holds both Kibum’s shoulder and asked him to continue. Kibum looked down on the floor like the answer is already there ready to be read. He then lift his head, took a deep breath and say,
“I’m… I’m gay umma.” This made a loud gasp from his mother. But she kept her composure and tried to remain calm tough his fist is becoming white because of too much grip on the bed sheet.
“How did you say so?” she asked, trying hard to not scare his son by hearing her gritting teeth.
“Because, I’m in love with Jonghyun, for almost a year now.” He replied. Looking now on the floor, scared and his face still blushing for what he just said. Because actually, she was the first one he told about it, the first person he confessed about his secret. Kibum suddenly looked up when she heard his mother say,
“Are the both of you dating?” Mrs. Kim is now angry, that she thinks that she’ll explode any minute. ‘How could he? After all the suffering I did? This is all he can give?’ was all in her mind right now.
“What? No…we… I don’t know…”
“What the hell Kibum!” she can't take it anymore. She have to explode, she have to tell it, she have to tell him that what he’s doing was wrong before it’s too late. But how does loving someone become wrong?
“Umma…” he’s trembling now, he suddenly feels weak. He can't believe that his mother just shouted at him. She never shouted at him unless he did some little mistake. But his mother never shouted at him like this with too much anger.
“Kibum, I didn’t raise you to become gay and fell in love with Jonghyun!”
“But I didn’t choose to be like this. It just happens umma, believe me.” He begs as his tears roll down his perfect face. Now, he understands why he feels weird…because of this.
“Listen to me carefully Kibum. I want you to cut all your ties with Jonghyun. I don’t want to see you talking to him or be with him. And I want you to forget about you being gay! Do you understand?!”
“But umma…how can I do that? I love him, I love Jonghy-” he suddenly feels like his right cheeks burning. ‘Did umma just slap me?’ he thought as he came to caress his now red cheek. Then suddenly when she realized what she had done, she calmed down a bit but still anger didn’t leave her system.
“Kibum-ah, you are still young. You are just confused. Don’t say you are in love because you are not. And especially don’t say you are gay because definitely you are not. You are just confused and it’s normal to feel and think about it.”
“But I umma, I know what I feel and it’s not confusion.”
“Listen Kibum, you will just hurt your feelings. You are not in love with him and that’s final.”
“It’s easy to say it’s done, but it’s hard to do umma. I thought, of all the people around me, you will be the first one who will accept and understand me. You are the least person that I think will judge me.” Kibum managed to say nicely.
“I am doing this for you, because in the end you will just hurt yourself. Kibum, you very know that the society is still not accepting this kind of sexuality right? Please understand it.”
“I am trying to understand, and you know what I understand in this whole scenario? I understand that you are ashamed and disappointed of me because I am gay. Well, good news to you mother, I also feel the same. I’m so disappointed of you.” This receives another slap from his mother.
“It’s either you will stay away from him Kibum or forget you have parents.”
“How could you umma?” he cried more. He just can't believe that she’s threatening him to be disowned.
“As I’ve said it’s for you. Well choose now. If ever you will choose us, start to pack your things.”
“What?”
“We’re going to move within this week.” Kibum suddenly feels week, when he heard this. Isn’t this too much? He love this place, he grew up here. All of his memories, and all of the persons he loves, the person he loves, is here. He just can't leave, he just can't.
“Alright umma,” he said kneeling in front of his mother. “I will never talk to him. I will never come near him. I will forget that I am gay. Just, let’s not move? I will do everything you will say. Please umma, please.” His mother softened her look to her son. She suddenly feels guilty. How did they become like this? How did she become a heartless mother? But it’s for her son’s good. She sighs, she don’t want to see Kibum like this. She doesn’t want to see him crying and hurting.
“You have one week.” She said as she turns around.
“Umma,” the tears continued to flow down on his cheeks.
“You have one week to show me that you will prove your words.” And with that she closed the door. Kibum cried harder. He cried with heaven.
Jonghyun didn’t know how he will confess, is it by letter? Should he take Key to a nice place? But then he thought that he don’t have big amount with him to be oh so romantic. He doesn’t want to ask any of his parent’s money, because it’s him who’s going to confess not his parents. He then just then decided to bring him to the park, where he kissed him a year ago. He faced Key with confidence. He knows and he feels that Key have feelings for him too. So he went to Key’s house with a confident smile and aura. He was just kind of disappointed when he Key greeted him with shock and sad expression.
“What are doing here Jonghyun?” Key asked and looked behind him to see if ever his mom is around or could see him.
“I want to take you with me somewhere. Can you come with me?” Jonghyun smiled. Key melted in that smile and felt sad at the same time. He can't go out and talk with Jonghyun. He has to keep his promise.
“Where and why?”
“I want … to tell you something.”
“You can tell me here.” He said and invites him inside.
“No, I can't, I mean I want to tell it to you somewhere.”
“I said you can tell it here.” Key said with blank face.
“Alright, can I come in?”
“Sure, but make it quick.” He supposed to push him away but maybe it’s also his chance to tell him that they should not talk with each other from now on.
“So, what you want to say?”
“I know, it’s weird but. I need to tell it to you now.”
“Just say it.” Key said kind of impatient.
“I love you Key. I want to date you. I want to be your boyfriend.”
Key’s eyes widened. Did Jonghyun just confessed to him? He really wants to say yes. But he can't. Or else they will lose each other for good. ‘Kibum, reject him quick! Think of something!’
“I-I’m sorry Jonghyun, but I can't accept your feelings for me. You’re just like a brother to me. No more, no less.” He lied. He wanted him so bad. But he’s doing this for the both of them right? He looked at the floor trying to fix his expression. He tried to look blank and faces Jonghyun again. On the other side, Jonghyun looked like him agape. He smiled bitterly and said,
“Key, you’re lying right? I know you have feelings for me too. I know because that night…that night when we…you…” he can't finish what he wants to say because he starts to tear up. Key looked away. He can't take to see Jonghyun crying. It will make him cry too.
“Now that you brought that up, that night, it’s not supposed to happen. Whatever happens that night, I forgot about it so you should too. Besides, we’re both boys Jonghyun, isn’t it weird for the both of us to be together?
“But feelings are the one that matters right?”
“For you, it is maybe but for me no.” He said trying hard not to cry with Jonghyun. Then he continued, “You know what, maybe it’s better if we will not be talking to each other until you moved on. Just talk to me again if you forget about that feeling you feel for me.” Key said and stands up to go back to his room. But his tracks suddenly stopped when he felt a pair of arms held his waist. He looked up and saw his mother watching them. Key successfully escaped from Jonghyun's grip and said,
“Jonghyun, go home and forget about what you feel about me. I don’t love you like you do and I will never do. I’m not…” he stopped. How can he lie about who he really is? “I’m…I’m not gay like you. So get out of my house and never talk to me again. With that, he runs to his room to be faced his mother.
“Good job Kibum.” Is all what she said and left the room to leave her son alone. After the door closed, his legs suddenly feel weak so he falls on the floor and start to cry his heart out. He’s so hurt. He just wished that his mother is right. That he will eventually forget his feelings for Jonghyun.
‘I’m sorry Jonghyun. But it’s for the both of us.’
Mrs. Kim continued with her plan. It’s not only her son who’s going to be hurt, but also Jonghyun. Jonghyun is a nice kid. He’s polite, smart and handsome. If ever that her Kibum is a girl, she will never be against to their relationship. But the situation is different. Jonghyun and Kibum are both boys, and these kinds of relationship will never be accepted, either by the other people or her. So, before the fire gets stronger, she has to stop it. She decided to invite Jonghyun in a lunch the next day to talk about it. And as she predicted, Jonghyun disagreed about it.
“I want to ask you something and I don’t want you to lie to me.” She said after the waitress put their orders on the table. Jonghyun suddenly feels nervous and he doesn’t have Kibum’s hand to play with. He suddenly felt how bad his life would be that Kibum was out of his life now.
“Okay auntie, ask it to me please.” He said politely and drinks his iced tea. He’s hoping that she will talk about him and Kibum, hoping that she will tell him that she will help him to take Kibum back in his life.
“I will ask it straight, do you love my son?” Jonghyun almost choke out all the liquids in his mouth. It’s a good thing that he manage to swallow it immediately. ‘She’s really Kibum’s mom. She’s too much straight forward.’ He thought and wiped his lips and at the same time he wonders why she asked it.
“Yes, I love Kibum auntie.” He said without stuttering. He’s really curious now.
“Do you love him more than a friend?”
“Y-yes auntie.” He said and looked at her piercing eyes. He suddenly feel regret on telling to Mrs. Kim the truth.
“How do you say so?” Jonghyun looked on the table, as if the answer is there.
“I-I don’t know. How can I explain it? What I know is that, every time I’m with him, it was the happiest moment of my life. That I wish the time would just stop. Every time we will be separated, I feel like I have to see him again. It’s like my life would be nothing without him.” Mrs. Kim suddenly feels guilty and weak on doing her plan. But it’s for the sake of both of them. They are still young and whatever they are feeling now is just starting, so it will be easy for the both of them to forget about it and the damage will not be big unlike the pain they will receive in the future by the people around them who’s going to humiliate and discriminate them.
“I know that what I am going to say will hurt you and might not believe me. But this is for your own good.” She looks straight to him and he did the same. “You are just confused of what you are feeling. You don’t love him. You are a guy and so as Kibum. You both like girls and will date girls.” Jonghyun looked at her with hurt.
“You might see my son kind of feminine and you might still think that he’s a girl but, he’s a boy like you. You see, my son might always with you and kind to you, and I don’t know if you are thinking that my son love you too but, sorry to disappoint you. My son doesn’t love you. And I don’t want him to confuse his self like you are now.” Jonghyun balled his fist on his lap.
“But, I’m not confused. I am sure of-”
“I want you to leave Kibum alone.” Jonghyun looked at her with shocked and hurt expression.
“Hahaha, you are joking at me aren’t you auntie.” He laughed sadly. He’s so disappointed. The lady that he treats like his mom is hurting him, telling him to leave Kibum. But how? How can he let go of his life? His oxygen?
“I want you to leave him alone.”
“I can't auntie. I’m afraid I can't.”
“Then, you say it. You may say your goodbye to him tonight.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’re going to move within this week.”
“Auntie…”
“Say your last goodbye to him.” With that, she stands up and supposed to leave when her wrist was pulled, and when she turn around she saw Jonghyun kneeling in front of her. Just like what her son did.
All the people are looking at them but Jonghyun didn’t care. What he cares now is Kibum. He can't afford to lose him. He’s his life. Kibum being far away from him even for a second drives him crazy already, how about him being so far away from him?
“Jonghyun, stand up!” Mrs. Kim hissed and tried to pull Jonghyun up. But Jonghyun didn’t budge and stayed kneeled on the floor.
“Please auntie, don’t do this. If you don’t want me to be near Kibum, it’s alright. I can take it. Just don’t take him away from me. I promise, I will stay away from him. Just don’t take him away from me. I am begging you auntie. I am begging you.” He begged until the woman in front of him sat to match his level.
“I wish you will stick to that promise like a man.” Is what she said and left, leaving Jonghyun on the floor kneeling with both cheeks wet from his tears.
‘Damn you Jonghyun. You’re so week. You’re so stupid. You don’t deserve Kibum.’
A/N 2: This is supposed to be one part...but fortunately, i enjoyed writting their past(that i even forgot that i supposed to write OnTaeMin shot, and it's stil undone so wait again..sorry!T^T) so it turns out to be 15-17 pages...and i know livejournal will say that it's too much long whatsoever that's why i divide it in to two...what the hecks wrong with livejournal?if it's not too much long, i cant post in reach text..!ugh!and so...since this is jongkey again, i will not post the part 2 until i finished the OnTaeMin shot...yeah i know!I SHOULD FREEKIN' MEET MY DEADLINES! but what can i do? if i'm not a lazy ass, i'm unfortunate...so sorry sorry too much!TT^TT
anyway, comments are always loved!^^v
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