the rollercoaster.
Ben came over as a last minute decision on Sunday night after taking a train back to NY from PA, and we watched Rocky Horror and squealed like little homos and got excited about everything that's happening. while I'm having a lot of anxiety, it's kind of truly thrilling to feel like people are taking me so seriously and that maybe there could be a real future, one where I've done something wonderful.
I went to the Schachts' house in the afternoon yesterday and organized their playroom. it was fun, throwing away their toys and knowing that they couldn't do anything about it. I danced around for a while to the mix CD that my dad gave me, all really great glamrock (and related movements from the late 70s/early 80s). things are so incredibly positive.
at night, I met Britta, Jordan, Miko and Nick for dinner and some white wine (if Britta and I are anywhere to be found, there will be white wine)... and then we headed over to the Walter Kerr Theatre to see the invited dress of A Catered Affair! while not everyone was positive about it, and even though there were times I felt a little taken out of the story, I had a very strong emotional reaction to the show and thought Faith Prince was a revelation. what a thing to say. a revelation. but really. that's the kind of performance we should all aspire to give.
afterwards, there was more wine at Snug and we met up briefly with some other people we know, and finally ended up drunk and stupid at McDonald's. probably not the most ingenious of plans, but I needed french fries desperately. spent too much money overall, and ultimately wasted another $18 on a cab home from Times Square. and I'll probably be doing this all again on Friday...
Ben and I chatted online today, though, about trying to be present for life. and that drinking too much and doing all these cheap sorts of things really just makes life too easy. and the scariness of life is what makes our actions brave and the people in it valuable. not everybody loved the ending of A Catered Affair, but I couldn't help but well up over the black and white projection of the Coney Island Cyclone that covered the set, slowly becoming imbued with color. this is the scary part, we should open our eyes right now instead of waiting until the ride is over. I talk a lot about the vividness of the world, and I think that sometimes I only let myself see it in short bursts, when I should be enjoying the view. I think we forget to grant every single thing the respect it deserves. every thing is a part. I think we're afraid to see what significance it all holds.
I went to the Schachts' house in the afternoon yesterday and organized their playroom. it was fun, throwing away their toys and knowing that they couldn't do anything about it. I danced around for a while to the mix CD that my dad gave me, all really great glamrock (and related movements from the late 70s/early 80s). things are so incredibly positive.
at night, I met Britta, Jordan, Miko and Nick for dinner and some white wine (if Britta and I are anywhere to be found, there will be white wine)... and then we headed over to the Walter Kerr Theatre to see the invited dress of A Catered Affair! while not everyone was positive about it, and even though there were times I felt a little taken out of the story, I had a very strong emotional reaction to the show and thought Faith Prince was a revelation. what a thing to say. a revelation. but really. that's the kind of performance we should all aspire to give.
afterwards, there was more wine at Snug and we met up briefly with some other people we know, and finally ended up drunk and stupid at McDonald's. probably not the most ingenious of plans, but I needed french fries desperately. spent too much money overall, and ultimately wasted another $18 on a cab home from Times Square. and I'll probably be doing this all again on Friday...
Ben and I chatted online today, though, about trying to be present for life. and that drinking too much and doing all these cheap sorts of things really just makes life too easy. and the scariness of life is what makes our actions brave and the people in it valuable. not everybody loved the ending of A Catered Affair, but I couldn't help but well up over the black and white projection of the Coney Island Cyclone that covered the set, slowly becoming imbued with color. this is the scary part, we should open our eyes right now instead of waiting until the ride is over. I talk a lot about the vividness of the world, and I think that sometimes I only let myself see it in short bursts, when I should be enjoying the view. I think we forget to grant every single thing the respect it deserves. every thing is a part. I think we're afraid to see what significance it all holds.