ow

[bobvi]

all day i've just wanted to go get a bottle of ibuprofin.
not that it would do shit, just that i know i can pop it. the act is more rewarding than the results for me.
i'm not going to do it, but oh if i could.
i wish michael would be able to be happy with out being in a relationship with me.
i want to be his friend. i don't want to have him etched out of my life, but he says its too hard for him to see me if we aren't together.
i don't know what i'm going to do.
i wish he didn't base everything on me. he wants to stop being productive with live i think. i wish he could be productive for his sake... sitting infront of the computer in the dark until he gets kicked out doesn't do much for anyone.
i feel so shitty for what's going on, but there isn't anything i could really do to make it better that wasn't bad for someone.
i want to talk to him... tell him to do uber at work, reply to his journal posts, im him to say hey, but i know he'll just get sad... so i don't want to do that.
maybe he'll read this tonight before work..
Do uber at work Michael.
its time for me to close up... i'm at work again... bye.