Fic: Top Banana [Happy Birthday, cornerofmadness!]

[bob_fish]

Happy Birthday, cornerofmadness!

Have a lovely day! And have a fic from myself and enemytosleep. We went and co-wrote you some porn.

Title: Top Banana

Authors: bob_fish & enemytosleep

Word Count: 9550
Rating: NC-17

Characters: Roy/Maes, OT4 mentions

Summary: Roy gets a promotion and Maes helps him celebrate in a night neither will never forget.

Warnings: Oh man,

Comments

[a_big_apple]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[bob_fish]

XD XD

[enemytosleep]

:D

[havocmangawip]

Poor guys... as soon as I saw banana... well, my mind went there and thought, "Oh holy hell, no flange!" (I worked as a graduate assistant for a health educator who ran the sexuality education program at a state university, before the new President came, we had a "Rubberware Party" in pajamas and explained ALL the embarrassing and naughty potential safety hazards. The program had been worked up with cooperation from the university clinic who had seen burns from candle wax, injuries from handcuffs/bindings and yes, calls to Public Safety to uncuff people because the keys had been lost. ;) It was good times. XD

[enemytosleep]

Hee, given COM's profession and her stories of similar nature, we thought it was only appropriate. XD

[bob_fish]

Hee hee. There are lots of ways to be stupid. Like enemy says, CoM has a lot of fun stories like this. Dr H helped a lot with the medical stuff too. The variety of unlikely things doctors have to remove from asses is amazing.

[havocmangawip]

The referenced site looks a LOT like GoodVibrations! I love them.

During the finale of E.R. there were a bunch of "E.R. Stories of how things got up the anus". It was awesome. Those are always the best stories. "I fell on it!"

BTW - Havoc categorically denies ever having been in an emergency room or the like to have ANYTHING removed from his anus.

It may or may not have happened. I'm thinking that there wasn't an emergency ward nearby and the "good ol' boys" knew how to get it out. ;)

Poor City Slicker Roy. He should have known how to get that out... well, no muscle relaxers, but enough bourbon and it would have happened.

[cornerofmadness]

hahaha thank you both very much. I love my story. Maes is appropriately annoying to poor Roy who takes the heat. You could almost see that this was just going to go awry.

The long wait for a doctor had also given Roy plenty of time to telephone Gracia in order to tell her that they were running late for the theater because he'd unfortunately broken her husband.
this line is still making me giggle as is what the ladies left for them.

I also very much like the idea of Maes bottoming.

thank you again

[bob_fish]

Maes had to work quite hard to get Roy to top him here. He may not be doing that again for a while. XD

I'm so glad you liked your story! Yay. You could probably see the banana disaster coming given your wealth of experience. Dr H helped extensively with this bit of the story including sharing her banana removal technique and advice to the suffering to go buy a butt plug. Oh, and speaking of that, here's the butt plug the girls left them.

[cornerofmadness]

how many times did I give the butt plug advice (and back in the days before internet and remaining anonymous.

that is a gorgeous toy btw

[bob_fish]

Haha, I thought you might identify with her there.

It's lovely, isn't it? You can't see from the pics but if you look at the measurements, it's pretty big. That shop also sells Olivia's lollipop crop.

[ataraxistence]

HAHAHAHAHAHA AWESOME I THINK YOU BROKE MY BRAIN A LITTLE BIT. :D

[enemytosleep]

Mission accomplished? :D

[bob_fish]

Good stuff. XD

[astridv]

Ahahaha. That was fun. Well, maybe not for poor Hughes, in the end.

This reminds me of a Ralf König cartoon, about a guy who has a banana up his butt and goes to the emergency room where they take it out. And later he tells his friends about it: "... and then the nurse said, 'congratulations, it's a banana' *sobs*"

Talk about a cautionary tale... ;)

oh, and also...

because Riza had seen him do worse and he knew that Roy would take the brunt of whatever frustration she experienced. Maes also knew that Roy quite enjoyed receiving the brunt of Riza's frustration:

This line puts all kinds of happy images in my head...

Roy congratulated himself on accepting it - particularly since it would make excellent evidence to show to Riza that promises of office sex did indeed increase his efficiency.

Heh.

[enemytosleep]

Hehe, glad you enjoyed it. ^_^

[bob_fish]

I like to think this is an educational story.

and XD. All the jokes about Riza femmedoming Roy were inspired by cornerofmadness's stories, where she does that a lot. I recommend you check those out if you haven't already for more happy images.