Fic: Top Banana [Happy Birthday, cornerofmadness!]

[bob_fish]

Happy Birthday, cornerofmadness!

Have a lovely day! And have a fic from myself and enemytosleep. We went and co-wrote you some porn.

Title: Top Banana

Authors: bob_fish & enemytosleep

Word Count: 9550
Rating: NC-17

Characters: Roy/Maes, OT4 mentions

Summary: Roy gets a promotion and Maes helps him celebrate in a night neither will never forget.

Warnings: Oh man,

Comments

[havocmangawip]

Poor guys... as soon as I saw banana... well, my mind went there and thought, "Oh holy hell, no flange!" (I worked as a graduate assistant for a health educator who ran the sexuality education program at a state university, before the new President came, we had a "Rubberware Party" in pajamas and explained ALL the embarrassing and naughty potential safety hazards. The program had been worked up with cooperation from the university clinic who had seen burns from candle wax, injuries from handcuffs/bindings and yes, calls to Public Safety to uncuff people because the keys had been lost. ;) It was good times. XD

[enemytosleep]

Hee, given COM's profession and her stories of similar nature, we thought it was only appropriate. XD

[bob_fish]

Hee hee. There are lots of ways to be stupid. Like enemy says, CoM has a lot of fun stories like this. Dr H helped a lot with the medical stuff too. The variety of unlikely things doctors have to remove from asses is amazing.

[havocmangawip]

The referenced site looks a LOT like GoodVibrations! I love them.

During the finale of E.R. there were a bunch of "E.R. Stories of how things got up the anus". It was awesome. Those are always the best stories. "I fell on it!"

BTW - Havoc categorically denies ever having been in an emergency room or the like to have ANYTHING removed from his anus.

It may or may not have happened. I'm thinking that there wasn't an emergency ward nearby and the "good ol' boys" knew how to get it out. ;)

Poor City Slicker Roy. He should have known how to get that out... well, no muscle relaxers, but enough bourbon and it would have happened.

[bob_fish]

Yeah, I think they're similar. They're a female-run company and very cool. They always offer you a cup of tea/coffee in the shop.

XD I know. "I was cleaning in the nude!" Helen's two best ass stories involve a wine-glass, goblet end first, and a deodorant can lid (can taken out, lid stayed - ouch). A lot of people apparently panic and head straight to the emergency ward even for things which would be fairly easy to remove oneself, e.g. condoms 'lost' up lady parts. We thought Maes and Roy would be panickers. Bless'em.

Poor Havoc. Stuff like that would happen to him. XD

[enemytosleep]

Oh the hazards of cleaning in the nude. XD