Alright, I'm getting kind of pissed off. Really fucking pissed off. Can you believe this shit? As if this city wasn't fucked up already, here we go again. Let's see... tail, check....ears, check....

Alright, alright. I get it. I'm a fucking mouse. I can't even try to sound threatening in this form, considering I sound like fucking Alvin and the ( Read more... )

You're lucky today, City. If you weren't so damn sick I'd be heading out for a bite to eat. But ooh-ho, despite what you'd think, I've learned from past mistakes. (That, and I've unfortunately seen 'Sucker: The VampireBut let's get down to brass tacks, I'm fucking bored. What the hell am I supposed to do in a goddamn city full of sick people? What ( Read more... )

BEEP.

Now that I have your attention, could someone please turn this curse off. And bring me some drinks and a virgin.

[[Pained screaming]]

Oh do quit making such noise. It's undignified. If you fancy yourself the leader, you must put on a brave face.

Hey toughguy, where the fuck are you going? The party's right here.

[[Screams, followed by a horrible wet shattering noise]]

Why Jan, you missed one. Let me get him for you.[[A whistling, a wet gushing noise, ( Read more... )

What the fuck was that? Night of the Living Dead?! HA! Hope you assholes had fun with that one, at least I could still put my own shoes on without breaking my fucking back.

Sure am glad you're all back to fucking normal, though. Oh yeah, there's nothing better than young, fresh blood. A virgin is fine, too.

[The sound of a chain can be heard clinking as Jan lifts his arm to look at it.]

Well, well, fucking well. If it isn't Miss Bitch, herself? Lucky, lucky me! I wonder what I should taste first, hmm? I'll tell you what, you go ahead and beg or cry for a bit. Put up a little fight, that sound good? It'll be fun to watch--hell, I'm getting hard just ( Read more... )

Chirp.

Translation: Fuck yourself.

[ooc: Cursed, turned into a bird.]

...the fuck? Where the fuck am I? This isn't London, or anywhere close, it seems. A fucking carousel? Are you kidding me? Fuck that. I fuck up an entire army and somehow end up in motherfucking Neverland Ranch. Or maybe this is my own, sick version of hell...and fuck, am I hungry. I feel like I haven't eaten since fucking Luke and I ordered that ( Read more... )