(no subject)
ugh!!! i hate this. im mad again. i hate livejournal!! i truely HATE livejournal. everytime i read it it makes me sooo fucking mad!!! im seriously thinking about like blocking it from my computer. it always makes me wonder what i have done wrong. why cant i be like everyone else? what is wrong with me? how am i different? it constantly makes me feel like im the last person in the world that actually matters to everyone. obviously ive chosen that path for myself. i wish that i could have one friend. one friend that i go to everything with and a friend that comes to me for everything. this is the time that i admire carlee sooo much. i may say that i dont like tara at all but i guess thats just the part of me thats jealous and wishes that i had a friend like that. i keep thinking that i do, but in all reality, i dont. im always the last to find things out and i hate it.
maybe theatre isnt the right place for me??? i dont know. all i know is that im mad, like always. mad at my "friends", mad at the world, but mostly, mad at myself. mad at myself for screwing up so many times, even thought i dont know where i went wrong.
just to let everyone know, this will probably be my last post. i get the strange feeling that no one cares about what i have to say at all. like im just there and that i dont really matter. so why should i waste my time typing all of this out if no one cares?
maybe theatre isnt the right place for me??? i dont know. all i know is that im mad, like always. mad at my "friends", mad at the world, but mostly, mad at myself. mad at myself for screwing up so many times, even thought i dont know where i went wrong.
just to let everyone know, this will probably be my last post. i get the strange feeling that no one cares about what i have to say at all. like im just there and that i dont really matter. so why should i waste my time typing all of this out if no one cares?