i was afraid of this ... shouldn't get my hopes up
So. Apparently the federal government is not going to buy my story that i'm physically and mentally fit to work as a Foreign Service Officer for the State Department. According to an e-mail I received last night, it's looking very unlikely that I will be granted my medical clearance for work.
This means that the job offer I got back in May w/ the Foreign Service is for all intents and purposes, "void." Without a medical clearance, I can't work for them. Period.
So. I have no job offers, no career prospects, nothing, as I approach the thesis defense in a little under 3 weeks. I'll be homeless in one week, living out of my suitcases in a friend's basement here in Bloomington until the defense, then who the hell knows. Back home to my parents' couch in WV, for however long that lasts.
I *knew* it, I *knew* it was too good to be true. and the worst part will be having to tell anyone that asks about how the whole Foreign Service process is going, that it's not anymore. no more job. nope. letting myself down, letting everyone else down. Follow up question? "Oh, well surely you've got some other offers on the way, right? Surely you've been applying to [insert a zillion different places here, including EPA, UN, EU, Department of Energy, Department of Agriculture, OECD, god knows what else], right? Surely you've got so many bright possibilities!"
My answer? nope. nothing. on the bright side -- i "can" bum off my parents for a place to stay in WV and food and laundry for the time being. that's it.
i feel like i've just let everyone down, and ME down, so much. and all because i am me, and yes, i had eating disorders and depression and shit, but i saw people for it, and i was honest about it all. and now it means i most likely will not, can not, work for the State Department.
fuck.
This means that the job offer I got back in May w/ the Foreign Service is for all intents and purposes, "void." Without a medical clearance, I can't work for them. Period.
So. I have no job offers, no career prospects, nothing, as I approach the thesis defense in a little under 3 weeks. I'll be homeless in one week, living out of my suitcases in a friend's basement here in Bloomington until the defense, then who the hell knows. Back home to my parents' couch in WV, for however long that lasts.
I *knew* it, I *knew* it was too good to be true. and the worst part will be having to tell anyone that asks about how the whole Foreign Service process is going, that it's not anymore. no more job. nope. letting myself down, letting everyone else down. Follow up question? "Oh, well surely you've got some other offers on the way, right? Surely you've been applying to [insert a zillion different places here, including EPA, UN, EU, Department of Energy, Department of Agriculture, OECD, god knows what else], right? Surely you've got so many bright possibilities!"
My answer? nope. nothing. on the bright side -- i "can" bum off my parents for a place to stay in WV and food and laundry for the time being. that's it.
i feel like i've just let everyone down, and ME down, so much. and all because i am me, and yes, i had eating disorders and depression and shit, but i saw people for it, and i was honest about it all. and now it means i most likely will not, can not, work for the State Department.
fuck.