catch-up
I've been trying to write this post for a few days and I keep abandoning it, which is probably because:
Before you go saying "Well, OBVIOUSLY you're depressed, you have every right to be", let me clarify. I'm still grieving my mom, obviously, and I will for a long time to come. But losing her has punched me in the gut and I'm sinking fast into a full-blown depressive episode. My sleep is patchy or I'm just tired all the time, I have no appetite (I've lost 12lbs, likely due to not eating much, although some of that's the stomach issues), I can't focus on anything, and I'm not interested in much. I keep rereading my WIPs and going "...yeah, okay, next?"
The problem is that unlike some of my previous depressive episodes, this one has a valid basis in reality. So I don't know what to do. Do I just be gentle with myself and tell myself this is normal and happens and I'll get out of it when I'm ready...or do I start fighting this with meds and therapy and everything else? I'm afraid if I do the latter I won't allow myself to really grieve, but if I do the former I'm afraid I'll sink so deep I won't be able to get out without a ton of help. So...I don't know.
I had to cancel with my psych today because I need to see the dentist, and I had to cancel with my therapist for Thursday because I have to work. So I don't know when I'll see either of them, but I will be asking for advice since they are trained professionals and I need help.
But for now I'm just...meh.
This entry was originally posted at http://blueraccoon.dreamwidth.org/1317977.html. Please comment there. |
comments
Before you go saying "Well, OBVIOUSLY you're depressed, you have every right to be", let me clarify. I'm still grieving my mom, obviously, and I will for a long time to come. But losing her has punched me in the gut and I'm sinking fast into a full-blown depressive episode. My sleep is patchy or I'm just tired all the time, I have no appetite (I've lost 12lbs, likely due to not eating much, although some of that's the stomach issues), I can't focus on anything, and I'm not interested in much. I keep rereading my WIPs and going "...yeah, okay, next?"
The problem is that unlike some of my previous depressive episodes, this one has a valid basis in reality. So I don't know what to do. Do I just be gentle with myself and tell myself this is normal and happens and I'll get out of it when I'm ready...or do I start fighting this with meds and therapy and everything else? I'm afraid if I do the latter I won't allow myself to really grieve, but if I do the former I'm afraid I'll sink so deep I won't be able to get out without a ton of help. So...I don't know.
I had to cancel with my psych today because I need to see the dentist, and I had to cancel with my therapist for Thursday because I have to work. So I don't know when I'll see either of them, but I will be asking for advice since they are trained professionals and I need help.
But for now I'm just...meh.
This entry was originally posted at http://blueraccoon.dreamwidth.org/1317977.html. Please comment there. |
comments