In Which I Have No Clever Title
When making a post after a long absence - for varying degrees of long - I always have the urge to start it like a confession: Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. It has been [x time] since my last confession. I'm not even Catholic, although I did marry one (whom I've never known to actually go to confession), so it's an interesting social programming commentary.
I haven't been entirely absent, for the record, but rather in lurking mode for quite some time. There's been the usual rollercoaster in there although the current stretch is further down than I've been in a while. Of course it's the 5th of November which means 3 more days of Hell for the U.S., followed by the post-election Hell. In my best moments, I genuinely think Trump is going to lose (thank all that's fucking holy) even if not anywhere close to the margin he damn well should, but I also think a lot of his supporters are sore, bitter losers and some of those have been radicalized, so that's fun and not the least bit alarming.
There's also this weird thing where I keep picturing the rumored/threatened widespread outages coming true and voting being extended as a result. I can't even imagine it working legislatively or legally, but brains. Anyway, it comes with a sense of a) profound relief at mitigating disaster and b) utter fucking despair because THIS ELECTION NEEDS TO END.
Right, so all that's rather depressing. I said a couple of months ago that by mid-November I'd either be on my way to being in great shape or really crazy and my brain seems to have taken that as a challenge and is attempting to achieve both. I do have a therapist appointment on the calendar for the first time in... years... but it's still better than 10 days out, so I'm on my own for this stretch. It's overdue as there were things I needed outside assistance to address regardless, so finally doing it is one bright spot, and hopefully I'll end up well above the level I was operating at before.
In the meantime, one of my few coping methods is running because, for me, it comes with an endorphin kickback. In deference to both my body's limits and my mind's willingness to exceed those whenever possible, I've been mixing up running and (fast) walking. So far it's working out well and I'm managing 6 days a week without injury. Where it gets hilarious is the fact that I'm getting up at 5:30am every weekday morning, driving in town, spending however long on the treadmill at the rec center, and then driving back home. Even 4 months ago, if you'd told me I'd be getting up at 5:30am, 5 days a week, voluntarily, without a time clock to punch, I would have stared at you in utter disbelief. But right now it's the only fighting chance I've got against another bad day, so.
Today is, of course, Saturday, which means the rec center doesn't open until hours later and I'm planning on running road miles this afternoon. First I have to convince my brain a) the "frigid cold" (it's 60° out there, brain, seriously) won't kill me and b) the surprise bonus allergy season sucks but if it's really tough to breathe, I can just walk. This is part of why we have the walking, brain, remember?
Enough about brain weasels. In other news, unlike River, Jack apparently can't have an ear infection without it leading to surgery. You may recall his poofy ear situation a couple of years ago (aural hematoma) which caused his ear to blow up like balloon. Well now he's had to have the second ear drained and the two halves quilted back together. That would have all been fine but at the same time we had the vet remove a wart that had grown a bit larger than a dime on his front chest. Tbh, it involved a lot more stitches than we expected, but the problem was that about 12 hours after they were removed, the incision opened right back up. Emergency trip to the vet and what we'd thought would be local anasthesia and re-stitching became general anasthesia surgery re-stitching just 2 weeks after the last one. Oof. He pulled through both sets of post-surgeries better than he did with the first ear at least, so that was good. Jack is totally over vet visits though.
Okay, I'm gonna go exist and hopefully the next post I won't feel like it needs to start with forgive me, fandom. Right? Right.
Crossposted to Dreamwidth. Comment here or there. ♥ Blue :)
I haven't been entirely absent, for the record, but rather in lurking mode for quite some time. There's been the usual rollercoaster in there although the current stretch is further down than I've been in a while. Of course it's the 5th of November which means 3 more days of Hell for the U.S., followed by the post-election Hell. In my best moments, I genuinely think Trump is going to lose (thank all that's fucking holy) even if not anywhere close to the margin he damn well should, but I also think a lot of his supporters are sore, bitter losers and some of those have been radicalized, so that's fun and not the least bit alarming.
There's also this weird thing where I keep picturing the rumored/threatened widespread outages coming true and voting being extended as a result. I can't even imagine it working legislatively or legally, but brains. Anyway, it comes with a sense of a) profound relief at mitigating disaster and b) utter fucking despair because THIS ELECTION NEEDS TO END.
Right, so all that's rather depressing. I said a couple of months ago that by mid-November I'd either be on my way to being in great shape or really crazy and my brain seems to have taken that as a challenge and is attempting to achieve both. I do have a therapist appointment on the calendar for the first time in... years... but it's still better than 10 days out, so I'm on my own for this stretch. It's overdue as there were things I needed outside assistance to address regardless, so finally doing it is one bright spot, and hopefully I'll end up well above the level I was operating at before.
In the meantime, one of my few coping methods is running because, for me, it comes with an endorphin kickback. In deference to both my body's limits and my mind's willingness to exceed those whenever possible, I've been mixing up running and (fast) walking. So far it's working out well and I'm managing 6 days a week without injury. Where it gets hilarious is the fact that I'm getting up at 5:30am every weekday morning, driving in town, spending however long on the treadmill at the rec center, and then driving back home. Even 4 months ago, if you'd told me I'd be getting up at 5:30am, 5 days a week, voluntarily, without a time clock to punch, I would have stared at you in utter disbelief. But right now it's the only fighting chance I've got against another bad day, so.
Today is, of course, Saturday, which means the rec center doesn't open until hours later and I'm planning on running road miles this afternoon. First I have to convince my brain a) the "frigid cold" (it's 60° out there, brain, seriously) won't kill me and b) the surprise bonus allergy season sucks but if it's really tough to breathe, I can just walk. This is part of why we have the walking, brain, remember?
Enough about brain weasels. In other news, unlike River, Jack apparently can't have an ear infection without it leading to surgery. You may recall his poofy ear situation a couple of years ago (aural hematoma) which caused his ear to blow up like balloon. Well now he's had to have the second ear drained and the two halves quilted back together. That would have all been fine but at the same time we had the vet remove a wart that had grown a bit larger than a dime on his front chest. Tbh, it involved a lot more stitches than we expected, but the problem was that about 12 hours after they were removed, the incision opened right back up. Emergency trip to the vet and what we'd thought would be local anasthesia and re-stitching became general anasthesia surgery re-stitching just 2 weeks after the last one. Oof. He pulled through both sets of post-surgeries better than he did with the first ear at least, so that was good. Jack is totally over vet visits though.
Okay, I'm gonna go exist and hopefully the next post I won't feel like it needs to start with forgive me, fandom. Right? Right.
Crossposted to Dreamwidth. Comment here or there. ♥ Blue :)