help me!
ok. i really need to make some decisions...
i have been switching between being happy with my body and wanting to fast for so long... one day i feel like everything's ok, like i don't need to lose weight, like i already am thin and losing weight would just be unhealthy. but then the next moment i'll eat something and then i'll feel terrible, like i've just done something really horrible. and i'll start hating myself and my body again. what should i do? i need to make up my mind about this, but the problem is that i'm so ridiculously impulsive that whatever decision i make, it doesn't last. if i tell myself to give up all this weight loss crap, that lasts for about an hour or so and then i start feeling fat and ugly again, and so i'm back where i started. and if i say i'm going to stick with the weight loss and get skinny, that doesn't last either because i have no control and i end up bingeing on shit. i really wish i had someone around to hit me every time i ate or something... someone to tell me i'm fat and ugly so that maybe i'll be motivated enough to stop eating.
god, i am so confused. what can i do about this???
i have been switching between being happy with my body and wanting to fast for so long... one day i feel like everything's ok, like i don't need to lose weight, like i already am thin and losing weight would just be unhealthy. but then the next moment i'll eat something and then i'll feel terrible, like i've just done something really horrible. and i'll start hating myself and my body again. what should i do? i need to make up my mind about this, but the problem is that i'm so ridiculously impulsive that whatever decision i make, it doesn't last. if i tell myself to give up all this weight loss crap, that lasts for about an hour or so and then i start feeling fat and ugly again, and so i'm back where i started. and if i say i'm going to stick with the weight loss and get skinny, that doesn't last either because i have no control and i end up bingeing on shit. i really wish i had someone around to hit me every time i ate or something... someone to tell me i'm fat and ugly so that maybe i'll be motivated enough to stop eating.
god, i am so confused. what can i do about this???