You-are-not-good-enough
I made 3 major decisions over the past month: The first was to ask someone if we could have a future together, the second was never to initiate contact with him again (he has serious issues that he himself needs to settle, the problem doesn't lie with me), and the third was to give up a golden opportunity that some people could only dream of.
All 3 decisions had extremely disastrous consequences on my emotional well-being.
I blamed myself for making those decisions, wondered why I can't ever get anything right for once..
Where did all the self-belief and personal conviction disappear to?
Now that I've regained my sanity and rationality (hopefully), I don't think i've done anything wrong.
This society that we live in, never allows any chances for failure, for embarassment, for an alternative viewpoint. At every stage in life, the mediocre is only there to make up population statistics, while the elite get publicised, commended, promoted, etc etc. For countless times, Life Science graduates have been told that their degree is useless, that there is no place for them (why isn't the same thing being said to music grads, english grads, chinese grads, or.. philosophy grads?!) You are not good enough, there is no place for you here. Just get your degree and leave. WHy'd you want to do the Honours year when your cap is like this? Just find a job and lead the singporean life -_-...
It's survival of the fittest and even though "the people's our only resource", we still aren't valued in our home country. Where is home then, if you're constantly belittled and pushed into the periphery? When you can't be free, and you're ostracized and ridiculed if you do not take the "recommended" road? My family tells me i shouldn't overestimate myself, my friends agonize over their future ("We're all going to be jobless") while others just keep harping on and on about how lucrative the i-banking industry is just that there'll never be a place for us. It's no surprise what kind of person I'll turn out to be in the long run, even though I'm still sane thank goodness.
But we never ever believe in ourselves coz we're rarely complimented and always referred to in bulk. Nobody ever reminds us that we're precious beings who can make an impact if we want to. I'd say we're much better than what people say! Who gives a shit about what people think.. We're made for greater things and we must firstly believe in ourselves before we can conquer the world!
Imagine how refreshing it was to have somebody say tell me that opportunities are everywhere, just that we need to know where to look. Or have a dear professor reaffirming the value of our existence every week.
Sometimes it's just a matter of staying with the right people.
Excuse me while I go be a hermit for the next few weeks.
All 3 decisions had extremely disastrous consequences on my emotional well-being.
I blamed myself for making those decisions, wondered why I can't ever get anything right for once..
Where did all the self-belief and personal conviction disappear to?
Now that I've regained my sanity and rationality (hopefully), I don't think i've done anything wrong.
This society that we live in, never allows any chances for failure, for embarassment, for an alternative viewpoint. At every stage in life, the mediocre is only there to make up population statistics, while the elite get publicised, commended, promoted, etc etc. For countless times, Life Science graduates have been told that their degree is useless, that there is no place for them (why isn't the same thing being said to music grads, english grads, chinese grads, or.. philosophy grads?!) You are not good enough, there is no place for you here. Just get your degree and leave. WHy'd you want to do the Honours year when your cap is like this? Just find a job and lead the singporean life -_-...
It's survival of the fittest and even though "the people's our only resource", we still aren't valued in our home country. Where is home then, if you're constantly belittled and pushed into the periphery? When you can't be free, and you're ostracized and ridiculed if you do not take the "recommended" road? My family tells me i shouldn't overestimate myself, my friends agonize over their future ("We're all going to be jobless") while others just keep harping on and on about how lucrative the i-banking industry is just that there'll never be a place for us. It's no surprise what kind of person I'll turn out to be in the long run, even though I'm still sane thank goodness.
But we never ever believe in ourselves coz we're rarely complimented and always referred to in bulk. Nobody ever reminds us that we're precious beings who can make an impact if we want to. I'd say we're much better than what people say! Who gives a shit about what people think.. We're made for greater things and we must firstly believe in ourselves before we can conquer the world!
Imagine how refreshing it was to have somebody say tell me that opportunities are everywhere, just that we need to know where to look. Or have a dear professor reaffirming the value of our existence every week.
Sometimes it's just a matter of staying with the right people.
Excuse me while I go be a hermit for the next few weeks.