My response to someone on a facebook post that said..
“When you've had one call after another and your little one is tugging on your shirt, remember what really matters. When the milk is splattered all over the floor and those little eyes are looking at you for your reaction, remember what really matters. It takes 5 minutes to clean up spilled milk; it takes much longer to clean up a broken spirit.” -Rebecca Eanes
I love this saying and even though I have as much patience as a 2 year old myself, I see the benefit to it. I had a friend whose mother called her a "little shit," all the time. What kind of message does that send to the kid? You are basically telling them they are no good and of course the child will internalize that and think they are all around a bad person for life. My friend has terrible self-esteem now cause of the mind games her mom played with her and the hurtful things she said to her.
Kids also need validation for their feelings. I have trouble when Dawn say's "I hate so and so" or "I hate you" directed at me. My initial reaction is to say "no you don't, you shouldn't hate and you don't really feel that way." But she can't help how she feels and I have a time trying to figure out how to say to her "It's okay to feel that way but just don't act on your feelings and in a little while you may even feel different." It's a fine line to walk but not validating a child can lead to nasty things like Borderline Personality Disorder where they don't know how to cope with their feelings and become afraid of being abandoned.
Now I'm not preaching at anyone, this was all more for me than anyone else because I hardly practice what I preach, I'm temper-mental, angry, and impatient way to much of the time. I wish I could print this out and put it somewhere where I will be reminded not to blow up over things that don't really matter but can really hurt a child.
I love this saying and even though I have as much patience as a 2 year old myself, I see the benefit to it. I had a friend whose mother called her a "little shit," all the time. What kind of message does that send to the kid? You are basically telling them they are no good and of course the child will internalize that and think they are all around a bad person for life. My friend has terrible self-esteem now cause of the mind games her mom played with her and the hurtful things she said to her.
Kids also need validation for their feelings. I have trouble when Dawn say's "I hate so and so" or "I hate you" directed at me. My initial reaction is to say "no you don't, you shouldn't hate and you don't really feel that way." But she can't help how she feels and I have a time trying to figure out how to say to her "It's okay to feel that way but just don't act on your feelings and in a little while you may even feel different." It's a fine line to walk but not validating a child can lead to nasty things like Borderline Personality Disorder where they don't know how to cope with their feelings and become afraid of being abandoned.
Now I'm not preaching at anyone, this was all more for me than anyone else because I hardly practice what I preach, I'm temper-mental, angry, and impatient way to much of the time. I wish I could print this out and put it somewhere where I will be reminded not to blow up over things that don't really matter but can really hurt a child.