A Promise To Myself
(written last night)
One thing about being out here is that I miss southern hospitality. Although I do not speak for everyone in Southern Calli, for the most part I find them to be rude, arrogant, and self centered. Guess that comes from living in such a beautiful area where there is so much to see and do that one can't help but feel a little cocky.
Tonight I'm staying with a family my marine friends met a month ago. Thankfully for us they are originally from New Jersey, and have welcomed us into their lives treating us like we are their own sons. My other two friends have gotten together with two of the daughters, and were trying to set me up with the last daughter, but I passed. She's nice and all, but she isn't my type. However her friend is really sweet and her and I have a good deal in common. There is also Jennifer in northwestern GA that I met through Hotornot. It could be so much more simpler if I could stay in one area and not have to deal with a long term relationship which is why I'll probably just stay friends with both. I'm not really interested in leaving my singlehood at the moment, but we'll see how this progresses.
Well you'd like to think that you were invincible.
Yeah, well weren't we all once before we felt loss for the first time?
~Dashboard Confessional: The Brilliant Dance
Although I've tried to completly move on, my heart still yearns to be with a person I can't really be with right now. It's unhealthy and I know this, but I've grown to know and even welcome the pain that still visits me even after all this time. Another chance to be with this person may never come again, and I've learned to accept that. I'm not saying it's impossible for me to be with someone again, it'll just feel akward and foreign for me to show and express intimate feelings towards another woman. Regardless of who and what happens, this special lady we'll always have a small place in my heart that no other woman we'll ever be able to replace.
It takes my breathe away how you took my breathe away.
How could I know you would would take my breathe away?
How could I know one kiss would change everything?
~Atreyu: Nevada's Grace