or will I feel this way the (get it on get it on I'm not deaf I'm just ignoring you and I'm in)
Hi, this is your supercool, supertalented backstage coördinator at Paaspop Festival speaking. I've met artists and lots of press people and some colleagues and wherever I go at this festival, I get through the gates without needing to show my lovely pink/purple (and at the other arm the hidden unofficial golden Masterband) wristband because there's always a colleague who's seen me walking around before because I am everywhere. I love festivals. I love love festivals, and as much as I always try to understand other people's viewpoints, whenever someone tells me they don't want to go to a festival (or do whatever other thing) because they don't think they'll like it - even though they've never tried it before, I don't get it, and I feel sad. I'm doing my best to try as much as possible, get every chance I get to do something new, even if I doubt myself liking it/being good/great at it, because at least I'll know. Presumptious speaking/thinking makes me feel sad for the world.
So yesterday I saw Voicst (not that great), Krezip (much better than expected, must really start listening to their stuff more), Fiction Plane (great! great! have autographs!), Batmobile (pit-music, they're not really bad, but after a while things are more about the pits (to me) than about the music), Doe Maar Na (while we were waiting for Moke, at the foodtent tables, they were okay) Moke (was sad to find out they sucked live), and Bløf (which I'd seen before, with Freak, and saw again, from the backstage stands upclose and beautiful, with Freak again, and they were great once more).
Today I didn't get to see the Bloody Honkies (but I was at the artist/band village this morning/noon and we said hi and grinned/smiled, they were cool), but I did see Alex Agnew, a Belgian stand-up comedian, whom I'd met before at the artist entry tent, and who autographed my diary and we talked a bit over coffee, and he was funny and pretty good, and I saw the Heideroosjes, who are always amazing. I need to start getting their CDs, this is the second time I've seen them live and they're so, so fucking cool. And I jumped into the moshpit again. I'm sorry, I cannot help it, they're all a head or more larger than me, those guys, but oh do I adore pits. I'll talk about them later. Also I've heard (from my workplace, the artist entry tent mostly) Stevie Ann, Racoon, Guus Meeuwis en I'm listening to Saybia right now. Oh, and Woody & Paul. Who had something to say about the watery weak coffee this morning, and went wow this evening when they tasted my coffee, because "man, that's strong". And, yeah, Freak just called, I'm going to see them at Peter Pan Speedrock in abou an hour, I think. And then Within Temptation. And I'm going to try to get to speak to Sharon before that. I have my shiny golden Masterwristband, so I can get into their dressingroom/(cara)vans/artist-band lounges, but I'm not really sure if they'll be very happy with me there. But I'll try. And besides, one of my colleagues has dealt with them before at another festival, and apparently they lack kapsones and they're really nice (he didn't have anything positive to say about Anouk, and he mentioned some of the antics of Kane), so I have Hope. Annnd after Within Tempation I have a backstage party which I'm not going to be at till the end because I have friends, whom I'm in the tent with (FUCKING COLD, last night. It was supposed to snow but it didn't, but I was warm except for my feet, and they were freezing, and I couldn't sleep for hours, and we went to bed at around four thirty, and I checked my phonewatch again at seven because God, cold, and I had to get up at nine thirty, quarter to ten, because I had to work again at ten. I came in at ten twenty, and got Jag and Freak to walk to the gates with me, and, I have Freak's boots on which are way too large because my shoes are cold and wet and no, I was not not going to wear those again today), and we have weird games to play and drinks to drink and talks to talk, and I'm probably going to get picked up around four in the morning by my father, because everyone's leaving at nine in the morning and if I'm going to sleep I'll be pretty much half-alive at nine in the morning, so I'm just going to sleep in my own bed. So I can sleep in tomorrow, and then work on articles/deadlines of last week/stuff for the rest of the day.
And Lieke mailed me, three/four hours ago, according to Gmail, to say that the bio's up. Argh the full name, which I didn't want, and the bio sucks how did I ever think of, etc, and I don't know anyone except for a friend of V's, and mm. I'm not feeling very positive about it tonight, but I'll probably be more optimistic later-ish once I'm in a calm, normal situation again. And I talked to someone I haven't talked to in a while, on MSN, and we fangirled Vyvienne Long for a while, she mentioned Joanna Newsom, I'm going to Google the cover of Ys once I'm - well, now. Mm.
And Turbonegro, which I'd wanted to see, cancelled, so they were replaced by Madsin, who are said to be really good, but I missed them because I had to work, and I can't hear the Masters of Rock-tent artists from here, only the Mainstage.
Okay, I've an hour left of this shift, but I'm going to see how I can sneak out to get to Peter Pan Speedrock, because they're starting around now and I want to pit.
(The thing about pits is that it's so adrenaline, so release of tension, so hardrock, so amazing. It's pure violence, a bunch of guys in the audience, usually at the front, start pushing up against each other and elbowing and jumping and fighting, but they don't go below the belt, ever, and whenever someone falls seven pairs of hands are reached out to help him/her up before they continue. It's violence, it's letting go of the tension, but with absolute respect for each other, and it's so, so good. I love pits, because it's getting over the adrenaline rush of being at a rock/hardrock/metal concert without hurting innocent bystanders or yourself, being with people who feel like you do, and letting go and knowing the most you have to fear are a few bruises, maybe a nosebleed or at the worst breaking a tooth. And whenever you think you need a break, you can step to the sideline again.
Tonight at the Heideroosjes I jumped both in the big pit as in the sudden coming-into-existence-out-of-nowhere mostly-girls/women pit. Which was a little bit better because in the big pit, I hardly reach to most people's shoulders. *sighs* I used to believe I had my father's genes, and I always hoped I'd grow to be as tall as him. As it turns out, I'm just slightly taller than my mother. :(
I can't really explain the rush it gives, the feeling of letting go but also being safe, knowing everyone around respects you and will make sure you don't get hurt, knowing you're making sure no one around you gets hurt. People stagediving in the middle of a pit, almost falling down on their heads, but being saved by people who'd been beating each other and him up moments before. [Some girl once fell on my head, and we still managed to hold her up. :)] And pushing and throwing as hard as you can, but at the other end other people trying to push you the other way so nobody loses balance. God, no words, but - it's violence without the hate, the need to destroy.)
And it's nine to eleven, eight to, I probably stopped making sense a long time ago, I'm still in the festival headrushfeeling and I think I'm mostly incapable of being comprehensible/making sense to anyone who's not right here. Ah three to eleven only half an hour left before the end of Peter Pan Speedrock, I need to go. *scrolls through entry text dear God I've written much*
Once I'm back I might tell you about the talks, the drunken friends, the three festivals I'm currently involved in, the conversations, the five-way relationships, the poetry and the music and the passes and the new friends and the old acquaintances and the good friends whom I always suddenly find at festivals, the articles and the press releases and the arguments and the plans and the love and the way the only person I ever, tells me how the only reason the relationship he's having is still in tact is me, because I've tried to keep him from doing anything stupid, I've talked to him, I've made him see stuff, I've talked to her and I've convinced her to give him chance after chance and I've made it stronger, I've been at her side when even he couldn't be there for her, I stood up for her, and I know he's more in love with her than ever, and apparently I'm one of her better friends now, and he said it's all because of me, and he was drunkenly honest all the way through, and he even said thank-you, and I'm stuck between this and that, how I'm trying to keep them both happy, because they want this, and I'm okay with it, and I want them both happy, and at the same time, at the beginning, even as I was trying to get to know her because of him, because he liked her, my main thought at the beginning, was get out of my way.