This is the way it is. It sucks but you know the only person you can really count on is you. Take a good hard look at what you are doing, if it really is what you want then you will get there, but only through YOUR hard work, don't wait for other people to be nice cos they aren't. Most people suck arse in the worst way. There are nice people of course don't get me wrong but when you fond them hold on to them as friends and make sure that what they say and do counts rather than what other people don't say or do.
If you decide that what you are doing really isn't for you, there's no shame in admitting it and trying for something different. I have done it and I know at the time I felt like I was a complete failure and was letting everyone down by not being able to do what I thought I wanted. But I realised that what was important was that I did what I could, I did my best and when it wasn't enough well I figures that maybe it just wasn't meant to be, and I found something else to do. And I will probably do that over and over in my life. What is important is that you are happy with what you do, there's no sense doing something because you think its the right thing if it makes you feel like shit all the time, because then its not the right thing. Life is too short to waste being trapped in a circle of misery, doubt and a number of other bad things that I can't think of right now. Do things for you, not for anyone else, and do them because they make you feel good not because they seem like a means to an end.
Don't be upset about the job, it takes a long time to get the one you wnat. Those people who just fall into their perfect careers are either incredibly lucky or liars. Remember its the companies loss not yours, they missed out on having a great employee, and you will get to work somewhere you are appreciated, it just takes time. It make not make you feel any better cos I am a screw up and therefore not terribly sound to base a comparison on, but I have only ever got one job that i've applied for - and that was waitressing, not exactly the jetset you know? The only reason I have this place is becuase no one else would take it and the university were getting desperate to put me somewhere! I expect much the same will happen when i go for graduate jobs too.
You are a fantastic person, you've done a lot good things for experience and you really love your subject. Someone will see that eventually and give you a break. Just hang in there till it happens.
RememberI may be across the sea and all that but I'm only on the other end of the computer. Well I will be soon cos I have to go do some washing so's i have clean clothes, but I'll be back, and you can always text me to meet you online.
If you decide that what you are doing really isn't for you, there's no shame in admitting it and trying for something different. I have done it and I know at the time I felt like I was a complete failure and was letting everyone down by not being able to do what I thought I wanted. But I realised that what was important was that I did what I could, I did my best and when it wasn't enough well I figures that maybe it just wasn't meant to be, and I found something else to do. And I will probably do that over and over in my life. What is important is that you are happy with what you do, there's no sense doing something because you think its the right thing if it makes you feel like shit all the time, because then its not the right thing. Life is too short to waste being trapped in a circle of misery, doubt and a number of other bad things that I can't think of right now. Do things for you, not for anyone else, and do them because they make you feel good not because they seem like a means to an end.
Don't be upset about the job, it takes a long time to get the one you wnat. Those people who just fall into their perfect careers are either incredibly lucky or liars. Remember its the companies loss not yours, they missed out on having a great employee, and you will get to work somewhere you are appreciated, it just takes time. It make not make you feel any better cos I am a screw up and therefore not terribly sound to base a comparison on, but I have only ever got one job that i've applied for - and that was waitressing, not exactly the jetset you know? The only reason I have this place is becuase no one else would take it and the university were getting desperate to put me somewhere! I expect much the same will happen when i go for graduate jobs too.
You are a fantastic person, you've done a lot good things for experience and you really love your subject. Someone will see that eventually and give you a break. Just hang in there till it happens.
RememberI may be across the sea and all that but I'm only on the other end of the computer. Well I will be soon cos I have to go do some washing so's i have clean clothes, but I'll be back, and you can always text me to meet you online.
Love and hugs, Cat xx
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