Direction...
I think i put my finger on why i'm so sad all the time.
That feeling that bugs me all the time, i think i know what it is.
I feel that i don't fit anywhere. My life is so constantly changing, that when i turn around, i don't know where i am anymore, or what i'm doing. The few people that i have as friends all seem to have their own defined lives into which i can't seem to fit. I'm always kind of on the edge of everything. I want to reach out and take hold of something so that i can control the next thing, and not have it take me by surprise - but i'm not a controlling person, and just can't find it in myself to do it.
I need to find what i define as 'my' life and 'my' friends. Does that sound selfish?
Long term i think i know where i'm going - i may even have started the beginnings of a plan for if Route A is busy, something i have hardly even been able to think about before, never mind make progress on, BUT in the short term i have lost focus and can't remember how to get there.
I'm sure that the pressure of coursework isn't helping at the moment - nor the fact that my relaxing holiday at the end of it has been cancelled, but make me promise to take ome time out at the end of May to revaluate where exactly it is i'm going.
That feeling that bugs me all the time, i think i know what it is.
I feel that i don't fit anywhere. My life is so constantly changing, that when i turn around, i don't know where i am anymore, or what i'm doing. The few people that i have as friends all seem to have their own defined lives into which i can't seem to fit. I'm always kind of on the edge of everything. I want to reach out and take hold of something so that i can control the next thing, and not have it take me by surprise - but i'm not a controlling person, and just can't find it in myself to do it.
I need to find what i define as 'my' life and 'my' friends. Does that sound selfish?
Long term i think i know where i'm going - i may even have started the beginnings of a plan for if Route A is busy, something i have hardly even been able to think about before, never mind make progress on, BUT in the short term i have lost focus and can't remember how to get there.
I'm sure that the pressure of coursework isn't helping at the moment - nor the fact that my relaxing holiday at the end of it has been cancelled, but make me promise to take ome time out at the end of May to revaluate where exactly it is i'm going.