(no subject)
i wish i was with you every minute of the day. i wish you were behind me when i make dinner and sit at the table for over 3 minutes. i wish i could, for a once in a loooooong time, be the first to fall asleep on you so you can look at me while im not sulking and complaining and fall in love with me again. i wish the eyes in the back of my head did not just work for parenting purposes so i can catch that smile that is swept off your face at the crink of my neck. i wish it could be as easy as grabbing your hand and sitting you in time out after calmly explaining what was wrong in the simplest of terms and that would be it. i wish i could have normal marital arguments about nothing instead of these wildly true emotions about everything. i wish i could save the world...by checking all million of those damn pockets better so i couldve found that pen that i shouldve known was there cause its always there. i wish i was not in such a rush to get the dirty clean and end up with a huge ink stained uniform that will cost me a finger and leave me to deal with a dead pen. but, i went with the eager to wash "oh hes not always the most responsible to carry what he needs to carry" approach. i wish trust and respect came easily like choices when youre sure youve aced the test and not quite sure on that one question so fill in blah just to fill it in cause one point wont haunt and torment you forever...just til you get your grades back and find that you got that question right and a bunch others wrong to bring your final score to an A-. thats k though cause youve learned your lesson on being so naughty that you get that 100 on the next next. i just wish one little thing i can steal away from myself so i wouldnt be afraid of losing sooo much. i wish i got some good luck chucked at me once and a while just enough to keep me on the ground so i wont think im doomed forever and my efforts slowly fade. i wish you were completely responsible for me the way i feel responsible for you. that maybe i wouldnt feel like im asking too much if i could just keep you here...arms around me...silent. i wish my voice wasnt so quiet and people could stop complaining that i "mutter". the voice in my head is loud. i wish people didnt judge as quickly and dont judge on only their experiences or because they feel they are set at this one spot where they think theyre protecting something but really...yall are just killing me. an apology would do. cause everyday i think about it. nothing was ever said to mend it. why do i want to be around people who misread me and the situation without even bothering to research a little.