Living with half a heart
It's harder to believe and understand and do than one would think. Zach just broke up with me. I spent 4 years of my life on this boy. Joel is telling me that I'm better off but it feels like half of my heart has been ripped out of my chest and now I am expected to live with half a heart. Shawn says that there is someone that cares more about me than Zach ever did...the only person I see is God. Obviously not Shawn...he "broke up" with me yesterday. We are still friends...but nothing more...it almost was more.
Uncle Kermit is in Hospice. I've been broken up by that. Of course Zach only thinks about himself...in every aspect. I just don't know how to handle things. I think I need to go somewhere so that I can just rest for a year or so. I don't think I can handle life. I'm not strong enough. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm hurting so badly right now...I want to drink...and drink and drink. I can't though. Shawn would kill me...I told him yesterday that he needed to find a better way of dealing with things than drinking...so yeah. I can't do that...what kind of example would I be? I will eventually be ok I think. I don't know for sure...but I think I may be.
Uncle Kermit is in Hospice. I've been broken up by that. Of course Zach only thinks about himself...in every aspect. I just don't know how to handle things. I think I need to go somewhere so that I can just rest for a year or so. I don't think I can handle life. I'm not strong enough. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm hurting so badly right now...I want to drink...and drink and drink. I can't though. Shawn would kill me...I told him yesterday that he needed to find a better way of dealing with things than drinking...so yeah. I can't do that...what kind of example would I be? I will eventually be ok I think. I don't know for sure...but I think I may be.