Goings on and such
So it's been awhile. Zach and I are still not together. I consider this to be a good thing. I've been strong thus far with that situation. I've been talking to Bryan...Zach's roommate....but that seems to be at a dead end now. I'm kinda hurt by this because I'm going through a tough time and I really need a guy to let me cry on their shoulder. Uncle Kermit is deteriorating fast. He doesn't have much longer left with us. I know that I will see him again but it still hurts like crazy! I'm not ready to say goodbye or let go. I've only had him in my life for 5 years and I can't stand the thought of losing him!! I'm planning on going home Thursday so that I can see him again. I miss him!! Even as I'm typing this I'm tearing up. I really need someone here and I have no one.
Bryan came over last Tuesday and hung out till about 4am. That was crazy! We made out....it was nice. He really is a good guy...I just wish that he were a Christian. I think that I have been lying to myself about my feelings for him. I want to see where it could lead...but mom and dad would not approve. I still want to see where it could go. Mary and I went over there last night and we played Super Smash Bros Brawl. It was fun...and I was hanging all over Bryan...I just hope that Phil keeps his mouth shut about it all. I don't want Zach to know that I have been talking to Bryan. But at this point I'm not too sure that we will be talking much anymore. I think that I have been annoying him...I didn't mean to...I just really want to hang out with him more than I do. I really...honestly wanna see where this could lead. He's a sweet, kind caring guy...most of the time. I like him a lot more than I thought. I want him here right now. I'm starting to thing that my feelings have come out all at once...and that really is not the best thing.
Shawn is gone to rehab. That's good for him. After that, he should have a better time at home. I hope that he gets off the booze and stays away from it. I really like him a lot. I don't want to see him being self destructive. It's not good. I'm one to be talking though. I haven't been eating much since Saturday. I found out about Uncle Kermit early early Sunday morning. So yeah. I really hope that his family is able to deal well with what's going on and that they will have a better life and get along better.
Mary has fallen for this guy and I don't think that he is interested in her. She's been crying so much about him and over him and everything and I'm thinking to myself dang girl.....I'm going through such harder things right now and you are going to just complain about this crazy situation. She did it to herself...I'm sorry...I love her to death but she did. She fell for him before finding out if he had even the slightest interest in her. He just got out of a 2 year relationship. So he's not going to be ready for anything yet anyway. He's a nice guy...not my type...but he's great. But the thing that gets to me is the fact that she is like I think I'm going to go back on antidepressants and I can't make it through this. She doesn't understand that I've been through it many times and girls go through it everyday.
Last Thursday was my 22nd birthday. My weekend sucked. I hated not being around my family and my best friend for my birthday. I got a Wii though from mom and dad and I got to go to Maggiano's for dinner too. It was great. I've gotten a lot of games for my birthday. Well I am taking my last 2 classes now. I'm tired already and have only been in them for a week. I think that I have been so depressed that I'm just always tired now. Dealing with all this stuff is really killing me. If I keep it up much longer I think that I'm not going to be around much longer. Well that's it for now!
Bryan came over last Tuesday and hung out till about 4am. That was crazy! We made out....it was nice. He really is a good guy...I just wish that he were a Christian. I think that I have been lying to myself about my feelings for him. I want to see where it could lead...but mom and dad would not approve. I still want to see where it could go. Mary and I went over there last night and we played Super Smash Bros Brawl. It was fun...and I was hanging all over Bryan...I just hope that Phil keeps his mouth shut about it all. I don't want Zach to know that I have been talking to Bryan. But at this point I'm not too sure that we will be talking much anymore. I think that I have been annoying him...I didn't mean to...I just really want to hang out with him more than I do. I really...honestly wanna see where this could lead. He's a sweet, kind caring guy...most of the time. I like him a lot more than I thought. I want him here right now. I'm starting to thing that my feelings have come out all at once...and that really is not the best thing.
Shawn is gone to rehab. That's good for him. After that, he should have a better time at home. I hope that he gets off the booze and stays away from it. I really like him a lot. I don't want to see him being self destructive. It's not good. I'm one to be talking though. I haven't been eating much since Saturday. I found out about Uncle Kermit early early Sunday morning. So yeah. I really hope that his family is able to deal well with what's going on and that they will have a better life and get along better.
Mary has fallen for this guy and I don't think that he is interested in her. She's been crying so much about him and over him and everything and I'm thinking to myself dang girl.....I'm going through such harder things right now and you are going to just complain about this crazy situation. She did it to herself...I'm sorry...I love her to death but she did. She fell for him before finding out if he had even the slightest interest in her. He just got out of a 2 year relationship. So he's not going to be ready for anything yet anyway. He's a nice guy...not my type...but he's great. But the thing that gets to me is the fact that she is like I think I'm going to go back on antidepressants and I can't make it through this. She doesn't understand that I've been through it many times and girls go through it everyday.
Last Thursday was my 22nd birthday. My weekend sucked. I hated not being around my family and my best friend for my birthday. I got a Wii though from mom and dad and I got to go to Maggiano's for dinner too. It was great. I've gotten a lot of games for my birthday. Well I am taking my last 2 classes now. I'm tired already and have only been in them for a week. I think that I have been so depressed that I'm just always tired now. Dealing with all this stuff is really killing me. If I keep it up much longer I think that I'm not going to be around much longer. Well that's it for now!