Dissociation [SiChul] [21/?]
Title: Dissociation
Pairings/Characters: SiChul, mention of KiBum (more to come)
Rating: overall R
Warning: Violence, torture, use of drugs, rape, character death,...
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Summary: One wrong decision can take you to hell. This is what many students have already experienced. All of them have disappeared. No one knows anything about them anymore. But someday, someone is going to find out, right? If it's still possible...
AN: Sorry for the few-days wait :) I'm just not feeling that well...
*18. February*
HeeChul's body hurt. He almost wasn't able to move. He was lying in his bed. He wished SiWon would be here.
It was already evening. He turned his head slowly to the side, so he was able to see the other bed in this small room. The bed which had belonged to KiBum and which was now empty. They had become friends and HeeChul missed him. He missed someone he could talk to. Someone who would be with him. Of course, he had SiWon, but SiWon was in another room and not able to come to him right now.
And one thing bothered HeeChul even more than being alone. Himself. He hated himself for having these feelings. For being angry. For being frustrated.
Because HeeChul could only think about SiWon and his friendship with DongHae and HyukJae. Of course, these three seemed to know each other for a long time, but HeeChul even felt their strong bond. And it made him feel less important for SiWon.
The other one had cried for HyukJae. Would he have cried for HeeChul?
HeeChul didn't want to think about this anymore. He didn't want to know. He didn't want to care. But his mind wasn't listening and his heart was aching the whole time.
HeeChul groaned and turned away to face the wall. The plain white wall. It looked a little bit dirty though.
HeeChul sighed. He wanted to get up. He wanted to be able to move. To walk around. But the drug that he got this morning was stronger and it made his body weaker and heavier than usually.
HeeChul closed his eyes and turned again, this time to lie on his back. When he opened his eyes, his gaze went down his body. He was wearing nothing but his boxers, and so, he was able to see his skin. His tainted skin.
He cursed silently. All the scars made him ugly. And suddenly, HeeChul felt lost. He wanted to cry. Why was he like this? He wasn't beautiful anymore. He had lost his friends and was locked up in here. His body was unable to move. His lover made him frustrated.
He opened his mouth for a silent scream.
He pressed his eyes shut. He just wanted to get away. Away.
But when he opened his eyes once again, SiWon was standing there and looking down at him.
HeeChul blinked a few times in surprise. Was he finally going insane?
"Hey. I don't think somebody will come soon and I wanted to see you," SiWon said in a whisper. His eyes were observing HeeChul carefully and HeeChul pulled his blanket further up to hide his body.
SiWon smiled slightly. "How are you feeling?" he asked and caressed his boyfriend's cheek. A touch which proved that SiWon really was there and HeeChul was still sane. At least a part of him.
HeeChul wanted to answer with 'miserable'. But he didn't want SiWon's pity. He didn't want anybody's pity.
SiWon kept on smiling slightly. His eyes were sparkling a little as they locked with HeeChul's and the older one was fascinated at how colorful they still were as SiWon slowly pulled the blanket away.
He inspected HeeChul's body.
HeeChul wanted to cry, but instead he just smiled and tried to cover his body once again.
SiWon frowned.
HeeChul hated SiWon looking at him. He wanted to hide. He wanted to run away.
SiWon seemed to realize how HeeChul was feeling, because he suddenly stated, "You are pretty."
HeeChul glared at him for a second, before he looked away. "I'm not!" he said back.
"Yes, you are. Chullie, these scars don't make you look ugly. You're still beautiful. So beautiful," SiWon said softly.
HeeChul shook his head frantically. "No! No, don't say that! It's a lie! Leave me alone. I know I'm not. Just leave, SiWon," he yelled with tears in his eyes.
SiWon didn't say anything, but sat down on the bed and carefully lifted HeeChul onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around the older one's fragile body and embraced him carefully. "You're wrong, Chullie," SiWon whispered and pressed a gentle kiss onto HeeChul's lips. "I still love you so much," he confessed and rubbed his cheek to HeeChul's.
HeeChul's tears fell, but a smile was on his face as well as he pressed his body tighter to SiWon's.
"Now please tell me what they did to you," SiWon demanded softly and HeeChul just nodded. "I don't understand them. SiWon, why are they doing this to me? I don't understand it. Why don't they just kill me? They torture me for hours. It hurts so much. I don't want this anymore. Sometimes, I feel like dying," HeeChul admitted quietly between sobs.
SiWon kept on holding him and just let him talk about what he had on his mind.
"I don't understand. I just don't get it. What are these drugs for that they give me all the time?" HeeChul asked desperately. His tears had stopped and SiWon wiped them away before speaking. "I think they want to test some drugs. I don't understand all of this either, but I guess, they use students, especially these who did something wrong, and then bring them to their lab," he explained finally.
HeeChul's breath hitched. "What? But that isn't even legal!" he stated. He hadn't even the strength to be angry anymore.
SiWon shrugged. "That's why no one is allowed to leave who had been in the lab. Most of them...die," he said quietly, because he knew that HeeChul wasn't going to come out of this if he wasn't going to escape by himself.
"I heard them talking yesterday...," SiWon eventually said after some minutes. He hadn't wanted to say this to his boyfriend at first, but he wanted him to know, so that he was prepared if something would happen.
"What did they say?" HeeChul asked quietly. He looked into SiWon's eyes, forgetting everything else, because he was too afraid.
SiWon gulped. He had started with this, so he had to tell him now. "I heard them talking...about you. They said I'm probably better for these experiments. Your body is already too weak," he said, and looked into HeeChul's lap.
HeeChul nodded. "I know. That means that as soon as they find you, they'll kill me," he concluded and SiWon didn't even need to nod because they both knew that it was the truth.
"So if they will ever find out that I'm here, you have to run away, alright? You just have to hide and not get caught. They can't find you, understood, HeeChul?" SiWon asked firmly.
HeeChul hesitated. He didn't want to leave SiWon alone in here, but he nodded nonetheless, so that his boyfriend would be satisfied.
"Thank you," SiWon whispered and kissed HeeChul softly.
Pairings/Characters: SiChul, mention of KiBum (more to come)
Rating: overall R
Warning: Violence, torture, use of drugs, rape, character death,...
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Summary: One wrong decision can take you to hell. This is what many students have already experienced. All of them have disappeared. No one knows anything about them anymore. But someday, someone is going to find out, right? If it's still possible...
AN: Sorry for the few-days wait :) I'm just not feeling that well...
*18. February*
HeeChul's body hurt. He almost wasn't able to move. He was lying in his bed. He wished SiWon would be here.
It was already evening. He turned his head slowly to the side, so he was able to see the other bed in this small room. The bed which had belonged to KiBum and which was now empty. They had become friends and HeeChul missed him. He missed someone he could talk to. Someone who would be with him. Of course, he had SiWon, but SiWon was in another room and not able to come to him right now.
And one thing bothered HeeChul even more than being alone. Himself. He hated himself for having these feelings. For being angry. For being frustrated.
Because HeeChul could only think about SiWon and his friendship with DongHae and HyukJae. Of course, these three seemed to know each other for a long time, but HeeChul even felt their strong bond. And it made him feel less important for SiWon.
The other one had cried for HyukJae. Would he have cried for HeeChul?
HeeChul didn't want to think about this anymore. He didn't want to know. He didn't want to care. But his mind wasn't listening and his heart was aching the whole time.
HeeChul groaned and turned away to face the wall. The plain white wall. It looked a little bit dirty though.
HeeChul sighed. He wanted to get up. He wanted to be able to move. To walk around. But the drug that he got this morning was stronger and it made his body weaker and heavier than usually.
HeeChul closed his eyes and turned again, this time to lie on his back. When he opened his eyes, his gaze went down his body. He was wearing nothing but his boxers, and so, he was able to see his skin. His tainted skin.
He cursed silently. All the scars made him ugly. And suddenly, HeeChul felt lost. He wanted to cry. Why was he like this? He wasn't beautiful anymore. He had lost his friends and was locked up in here. His body was unable to move. His lover made him frustrated.
He opened his mouth for a silent scream.
He pressed his eyes shut. He just wanted to get away. Away.
But when he opened his eyes once again, SiWon was standing there and looking down at him.
HeeChul blinked a few times in surprise. Was he finally going insane?
"Hey. I don't think somebody will come soon and I wanted to see you," SiWon said in a whisper. His eyes were observing HeeChul carefully and HeeChul pulled his blanket further up to hide his body.
SiWon smiled slightly. "How are you feeling?" he asked and caressed his boyfriend's cheek. A touch which proved that SiWon really was there and HeeChul was still sane. At least a part of him.
HeeChul wanted to answer with 'miserable'. But he didn't want SiWon's pity. He didn't want anybody's pity.
SiWon kept on smiling slightly. His eyes were sparkling a little as they locked with HeeChul's and the older one was fascinated at how colorful they still were as SiWon slowly pulled the blanket away.
He inspected HeeChul's body.
HeeChul wanted to cry, but instead he just smiled and tried to cover his body once again.
SiWon frowned.
HeeChul hated SiWon looking at him. He wanted to hide. He wanted to run away.
SiWon seemed to realize how HeeChul was feeling, because he suddenly stated, "You are pretty."
HeeChul glared at him for a second, before he looked away. "I'm not!" he said back.
"Yes, you are. Chullie, these scars don't make you look ugly. You're still beautiful. So beautiful," SiWon said softly.
HeeChul shook his head frantically. "No! No, don't say that! It's a lie! Leave me alone. I know I'm not. Just leave, SiWon," he yelled with tears in his eyes.
SiWon didn't say anything, but sat down on the bed and carefully lifted HeeChul onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around the older one's fragile body and embraced him carefully. "You're wrong, Chullie," SiWon whispered and pressed a gentle kiss onto HeeChul's lips. "I still love you so much," he confessed and rubbed his cheek to HeeChul's.
HeeChul's tears fell, but a smile was on his face as well as he pressed his body tighter to SiWon's.
"Now please tell me what they did to you," SiWon demanded softly and HeeChul just nodded. "I don't understand them. SiWon, why are they doing this to me? I don't understand it. Why don't they just kill me? They torture me for hours. It hurts so much. I don't want this anymore. Sometimes, I feel like dying," HeeChul admitted quietly between sobs.
SiWon kept on holding him and just let him talk about what he had on his mind.
"I don't understand. I just don't get it. What are these drugs for that they give me all the time?" HeeChul asked desperately. His tears had stopped and SiWon wiped them away before speaking. "I think they want to test some drugs. I don't understand all of this either, but I guess, they use students, especially these who did something wrong, and then bring them to their lab," he explained finally.
HeeChul's breath hitched. "What? But that isn't even legal!" he stated. He hadn't even the strength to be angry anymore.
SiWon shrugged. "That's why no one is allowed to leave who had been in the lab. Most of them...die," he said quietly, because he knew that HeeChul wasn't going to come out of this if he wasn't going to escape by himself.
"I heard them talking yesterday...," SiWon eventually said after some minutes. He hadn't wanted to say this to his boyfriend at first, but he wanted him to know, so that he was prepared if something would happen.
"What did they say?" HeeChul asked quietly. He looked into SiWon's eyes, forgetting everything else, because he was too afraid.
SiWon gulped. He had started with this, so he had to tell him now. "I heard them talking...about you. They said I'm probably better for these experiments. Your body is already too weak," he said, and looked into HeeChul's lap.
HeeChul nodded. "I know. That means that as soon as they find you, they'll kill me," he concluded and SiWon didn't even need to nod because they both knew that it was the truth.
"So if they will ever find out that I'm here, you have to run away, alright? You just have to hide and not get caught. They can't find you, understood, HeeChul?" SiWon asked firmly.
HeeChul hesitated. He didn't want to leave SiWon alone in here, but he nodded nonetheless, so that his boyfriend would be satisfied.
"Thank you," SiWon whispered and kissed HeeChul softly.