This is LONGGGGGGGGGGGG~ Sorry. Just felt like tellin a lil about my past.
Isnt it funny when left to your own devices things start to flood your brain? Its as if it knows when your vulnerable. For some reason tonight I began to think a lot about my past.How at times I wish I could change it and other times Im thankful for experiencing the things I did with the people I did. I remember being in 10th grade working at Busch Gardens with my then good friend Whitney- I remember sitting in the Montu breakroom with her and just bullshitting about school and how much our jobs sucked. I remember from the same era going to the beach with her,Jackie Wood,Jarret and myself and sitting on the beach planning how we were going to have this awesome Senior trip and how we were going to take this monsterous road trip and do all these awesome things.. The joy of naivete. Around 11th grade-second semester I realized that she was a compulsive liar and a whore. Around that time I began to hang out with Desiree.. I had known her in 9th grade because we had Physical Science together with Mr. Labastie.. Mr.Labastie-was this French dude who thought he could handle an over capacity classroom full of rowdy freshmen.. BOY was he wrong. We used to thru paper balls with soap on them at his stupid ass,walk out and go piss, and did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in his class.. That all changed when this cunt,I dont remember her name off hand took over the class and made us actually do stuff and follow the rules. Desiree and I had been "aquaintances" but never friends. In 11th grade late in the year we began to talk more but never were friend friends. 12th grade comes and low and behold she comes and joins my Algebra II class with Mrs. Johnston. Mrs. Johnston was a southern-Baptist holy roller who had a permed mullet and a lisp. Our class made that woman cry weekly atleast. We threw her glasses away,wrote in sharpies on the white board,fucked up the clock,cussed at her,locked her out of the portable,etc.. I wonder if she ever got the help she needed after us? Des also had my Personal Fitness class.It was nice to have someone with as much disdain for the class as I did. Coach Overcash looked like a leathery football with a bleached blonde mullet who said she wasnt a lesbian. OK! This bitch was also my 12th grade homeroom teacher-meaning I couldnt skip her fucking class. Instead I put as little effort as I possibly could. I passed and Desiree failed.. thats logical seeing as how we both DID the EXACT same thing. We worked together at the coffee shop,hung out ALL the time and even took the same classes in college. We were inseparable. We drank together,smoked together,rolled together,took pills together.. We had fun on them bars,shopped together-you name it we were together doing it that year. Rachel was off in some paralle universe doing her thing but wed hang out sometimes too. Desiree and I had a friend incommon Amanda.I knew Amanda way before Desiree did because her and I went to Blake together( A 7th grade center in the ghetto) and rode the same bus. Lost touch with her after 7th grade because I moved to North Dale and went to Ben Hill. This is where Rachel and I began to get closer. I made friends wit hher friends and had my friends too. Our friends never really mixed or got along,to this day still prolly wouldnt/dont.Around 19-20 we connected with Amanda again and began to hang out as a group and thus it gets fuzzy here because of the pills,pot,booze and other "favors".Amanda was seeing Stephen and had been for some time. Amanda,Desiree,Stephen and this latino guy Jason all moved into Brookside Apts. on Busch and 50th st. All is well for a few mos. and then Desiree begin to pull stunts and get fired from jobs and whatnot. Des was also hanging out with this pig named Lisa Cherowbrier. Amanda and I had an alliance with Lisa to get hooked up with Xanax,Percoset,Vicoden,etc. This alliance became important because when They evicted Desiree, she went to live with Lisa,and Lisa has/had her own share of issues. Lisa would tell us all the fucked up things Desiree would say about us and we in turn would tell Lisa all the fucked up things said about her.We would meet Lisa when we knew Desiree wasnt around.. We all turned on Desiree because she was fuckin up and making everyone hateful towards her. We all did roll on my 19 or 20th bday, with this fat dude who wed get pills from-He gave me 3 beans and Lisa and Des bought the other 2 for me-It was a fun night.. He was really wierd. Thats the thing-hanging out with dealers is NOT ideal most times-they become wierdly attached to you if you get fucked up with them. Well,as it turns out, Lisa was telling Desiree EVERYTHING WE SAID ABOUT HER. so we had to cut lisa out. Luckily we had our own connections for shit at that time. I had the best times of my teenage years at the apt. on 50th and Busch with Amanda,the boys and random others. Thats where I started to smoke A LOT of pot.I remember COUNTLESS nights passing out there from being WAY fucked up and countless nights when SOMEONE should have told my fucked up ass to stay there and not drive home. I hung out with them for about 2.5yrs. before I moved to NOLA. I remember the Corona,the hydro,the bars,the piercings,the drama,the lying,shit talking,backstabbing bullshit games wed play-drugs kinda fueled that lol. Sometimes I think to myself "How did I never get pulled over? In an accident,killed,end up in a hospital,etc etc etc." I did Cocaine for the first time with Amanda too. That was fun.We were up ALL night talking playing cards,talking snorting talking snorting talking.. you get the gist. We did coke a good few times. I then began working at Capital One,which is like the mecca for all that is illegal. Brandy,a girl from COAF and also Highschool used to sell Hydro. Id buy TONS from her, J.Co used to sell mids, and Brandies cousin sold coke. Xanax was i think in the water there, as everyone had it or knew how and who to get it from. Id go to Amandas house if i was doing OT in the afternoon before I got fulltime and would get REALLLLLY high and take a bar go to work,go back over and hang out all night. The gravity bong was amazing-she out toked us all.I had other friends at this time, but never saw them that often during this time.If I could go back,I would have done better in school,done less perscription pills,and played it more cautiously. You live you learn I suppose. Am I the wiser? Thats the question still awaiting to be answered... Or is it? I can say that those experiences were major stepping stones in my life.I can say that without experiencing those things that Id prolly not be who I am today. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Rachel will always supremely rule over me as far as drugs do, I could never top her in what shes done,but ive done my fair share too and sometimes I miss it sometimes I dont. At what point is it time to give up the people who all you seemingly have in common with is getting fucked up and reminscing about the good times of yesteryear? I think I need to keep those people close but be weary of how close. I need to get my shit together and its time to begin my own adventure.