(no subject)
recently, God's been challenging me to read more books and articles. if i'm living in a world with ppl whom God loves, how can i be unaware and apathetic on what is going around me? the more i read about modern slavery, the more i see the world through His eyes. and the more i see God's heart for people, the less i value my own wants and needs. slavery right now is the worst it has ever been. ive been reading a lot about the persecution christians inflict on homosexuals. reading a lot about the hurts and needs of people.
and i feel bad about myself. there are ppl suffering in this world, and yet all i've been worrying about were my image, clothes, grades, boys, and being accepted. ppl who God loves are starving, yet i spend ridiculous amounts of money on luxury goods. i am not worthy of the calling God has for me. i am selfish, prideful, and ignorant. how little i love Him. but somehow, despite how messed up i am, He still calls me His pride and joy. and He tells me that He does not regret calling me.
i dont know what i can do. my heart breaks for those in pain, whether in america or in a third world country. i see so many people starving for grace and love. i tear up when i think about them, but what can i do? i feel so helpless and limited. i'm only one person. yet God used one person to lead the israelites out of the clutches of pharaoh. i want God to use me in every way possible--my every breath and every thought. i am tired of constantly falling into the trap of living for myself. Jesus paid such a high price to restore my sight, yet i am blinded everyday.
what can i do?
and i feel bad about myself. there are ppl suffering in this world, and yet all i've been worrying about were my image, clothes, grades, boys, and being accepted. ppl who God loves are starving, yet i spend ridiculous amounts of money on luxury goods. i am not worthy of the calling God has for me. i am selfish, prideful, and ignorant. how little i love Him. but somehow, despite how messed up i am, He still calls me His pride and joy. and He tells me that He does not regret calling me.
i dont know what i can do. my heart breaks for those in pain, whether in america or in a third world country. i see so many people starving for grace and love. i tear up when i think about them, but what can i do? i feel so helpless and limited. i'm only one person. yet God used one person to lead the israelites out of the clutches of pharaoh. i want God to use me in every way possible--my every breath and every thought. i am tired of constantly falling into the trap of living for myself. Jesus paid such a high price to restore my sight, yet i am blinded everyday.
what can i do?