"So what do you want for your birthday?"
Ok this question use to make me happy when I was little. Now I feel the same way about my birthday as I do christmas.. I really don't want anything material. What I want has more to deal with something I know I won't get- a conversation. Not just any conversation.. oh course it has to be with the right person to count. It would take a miricle for God to make my bithday wish to come true. I wnat the happiness and comfort I had before but you can never go back and that doesn't lie in the present nor the future. I guess I would settle for just a few people remembering my birthday but that probably won't happen either. I mean I keep my fingers crossed but I know I'll end up settling for what I get b/c I always settle.
Ok talking to that lady the other day really just made me ill. She doens't know me one bit; yet, she assumes she does b/c my mom's paying her. She told me that from what my mother told her it seems that I have confrontment issues and that if I want to make a step in the right direction I should confront my exboyfriend and talk to him. Yea like thats gonna happen.. wait it already did and I think we ended up sleeping together and then not talking to each other..so i guess thats strike one for the doctor! Honestly, if I was to talk to JT I don't think it would be about us or the lack there of anymore.. those topics only cause trouble- he ends up getting mad and I end up being hurt more and getting mad becuase I cried in front of him. Besides we haven't reached that level where we can just talk about random shit like friends.. hell we haven't even reached saying "hey" when we see each other. Case in point. I saw him at the game the other day but instead of going up and trying to say hey I just stopped, turned around and went the other way. This is why I said I Know I can't have what I want for my birthday. I know his birthday is on the 21st, but ten to 1 says that if he even remembers what day mine is he won't acknowledge it in any way.
On a happy note, Skates 280 was fun. So I'm not the best skater anymore, but I didn't fall down! I came very close one time but fortunately one of the guys in USGA was behind me and caught me before I busted my tail. Me, Ericka, Ke-Ke and Chelica had a bast picking out our outfits at the thrift store! LOL, Kee and Chelica had me laughin the whole night. WE found out just how hard it is to dance in skates and they both started freaking out when I started danceing! All I remeber is "Oh white girl's got rhythm!" I've never laughed so much. Ericka got some really good pictures of the whole group. I cant wait till she puts them on facebook.
Anyways got to go.. AED initation is today!
Ok talking to that lady the other day really just made me ill. She doens't know me one bit; yet, she assumes she does b/c my mom's paying her. She told me that from what my mother told her it seems that I have confrontment issues and that if I want to make a step in the right direction I should confront my exboyfriend and talk to him. Yea like thats gonna happen.. wait it already did and I think we ended up sleeping together and then not talking to each other..so i guess thats strike one for the doctor! Honestly, if I was to talk to JT I don't think it would be about us or the lack there of anymore.. those topics only cause trouble- he ends up getting mad and I end up being hurt more and getting mad becuase I cried in front of him. Besides we haven't reached that level where we can just talk about random shit like friends.. hell we haven't even reached saying "hey" when we see each other. Case in point. I saw him at the game the other day but instead of going up and trying to say hey I just stopped, turned around and went the other way. This is why I said I Know I can't have what I want for my birthday. I know his birthday is on the 21st, but ten to 1 says that if he even remembers what day mine is he won't acknowledge it in any way.
On a happy note, Skates 280 was fun. So I'm not the best skater anymore, but I didn't fall down! I came very close one time but fortunately one of the guys in USGA was behind me and caught me before I busted my tail. Me, Ericka, Ke-Ke and Chelica had a bast picking out our outfits at the thrift store! LOL, Kee and Chelica had me laughin the whole night. WE found out just how hard it is to dance in skates and they both started freaking out when I started danceing! All I remeber is "Oh white girl's got rhythm!" I've never laughed so much. Ericka got some really good pictures of the whole group. I cant wait till she puts them on facebook.
Anyways got to go.. AED initation is today!