Fierce at the Heart with Fire [Ch. 5]
Ji Yong lies next to Young Bae, watching him sleep. After that emotional moment in the bathroom, Young Bae had said he was tired and wanted to go to bed. Though he had really wanted answers, Ji Yong knew that what Young Bae wanted came first and so he helped him get ready. When Ji Yong had made to leave, in a voice reminiscent of a child, Young Bae had asked him to stay. And Ji Yong had found himself unwilling and unable to refuse. So that brought him to where he was now, lying next to Young Bae and holding him in his arms.
Ji Yong couldn’t get over how peaceful Young Bae looked sleeping next to him, like a child. Before he could help himself he was raising his right hand and caressing Young Bae’s sleeping face. His hand slides down a soft cheek, brushes closed eyelids and lingers on his slightly open lips. God he’s beautiful was all Ji Yong could think.
Young Bae shifts slightly, bringing his face closer to Ji Yong’s. Ji Yong suddenly finds himself laying a kiss on Young Bae’s forehead, then his cheek. Then, before he could chicken out, he lays a soft kiss on Young Bae’s lips.
Ji Yong is suddenly taken back to when they were younger, of the memories he’s tried so hard to deny over the years.
~~flashback~~
Ji Yong couldn’t wait for this teacher to stop talking, like seriously this lady needed to shut up. School would be over in like 5 minute but Mrs. Kim just started on this topic and looked like she would go on about it forever. He hopes they won’t have to stay extra time for this.
He turns to look over at his best friend Young Bae and pulls a face. Young Bae is studiously trying to copy the notes Mrs. Kim is putting on the board but one look at Ji Yong’s face has him bursting out laughing.
“Dong Young Bae,” Mrs. Kim stern voice rings out. “Is something funny?”
Quickly they both sit up straight.
“No ma’am” Young Bae responds. As soon as Mrs. Kim looks away he turns to glare at Ji Yong but it no longer matters, the bell rings and school is over and they’re running out of class.
Ji Yong was really excited today. Not only was there no practice at the YG building for them today but he was sleeping over Young Bae’s house too. First Young Bae’s mom was an awesome cook -better than his mom but he would never tell her that - and second he loves sleeping over at Young Bae’s house because he loves hanging out with him. He had a lot of friends but none of them were as awesome as Young Bae. Young Bae was his greatest friend.
Later that night, he was lying next to Young Bae and couldn’t sleep. Young Bae on the other hand was sound asleep which Ji Yong kind of hated him for - how could he sleep when Ji Yong was so bored and insomniac?
Ji Yong loved hanging out with Young Bae but recently he’s been feeling different around him. He felt shy and he hated it when Young Bae would pay attention to someone other than him and he was always doing stupid things to get his attention now. He would get this funny warm feeling in his stomach whenever Young Bae would look at him and only him.
Ji Yong stares at Young Bae and couldn’t help thinking of beautiful he was, how amazing. Before Ji Yong could help himself he had leaned over and kissed Young Bae. At first it was a shy kiss, and when he opened his eyes to see that Young Bae’s was still closed, he kissed him again. On the second kiss, he felt the pressure returned and suddenly he was actually kissing Young Bae. He was kissing Young Bae, oh my god HE WAS KISSING YOUNG BAE.
Ji Yong springs back and looks down at Young Bae, who was turning around in his bed but still asleep. His heart is racing and he doesn’t know what to do. Fuck, he just kissed his best friend. Fuck.
Before he could stop himself he was out of the bed and picking up his clothes. Three minutes later he was running out of the Dong’s house and running in the streets of Seoul back to his house.
When Young Bae called the next morning asking why he left in the middle of the night, he told him his sister had called him and said their dog was sick and he had rushed home. For two weeks after that he tried to avoid Young Bae, a week after that he got himself his first girlfriend and him and Young Bae were ok again.
~~flashback ends~~
“Ji Yong, you still here,” Young Bae whispers.
“Yes, I’m here,” Ji Yong moves closer and wraps an arm around Young Bae. Young Bae turns around and lays his head on his chest and pulls him close.
“I guess you want to know what had happened, right?” His voice is sad and shaky and Ji Yong just pulls him closer.
“Only if you want to tell me.”
“It was stupid, so stupid,” Young Bae starts. “We were at his house and we were just about to …um…we were becoming more intimate …”
~~flashback~~
Young Bae could feel the hard springs of the couch digging in his back as he pressed up to kiss Hansol harder. Hansol had one hand on his ass and the other trying to unbuckle his pants. They both had their shirts off.
“ha ha, imagine what your little boyfriend would say if he could see you like this,” Hansol says laughing. “Like a bitch in heat.”
Young Bae stops for a minute and pushes Hansol back.
“Can you stop bringing him up please,” He couldn’t believe Hansol brought Ji Yong up again despite him repeatedly asking him to stop.
Hansol grabs at him and pulls him close. On top of him he’s heavy and has a wide snarky grin on his face that matches the mocking look in his eyes. He smiles up at Young Bae as he takes hold of his wrists and starts kissing down his chest.
“Why?,” he asks as he lays a kiss on Young Bae’s hip. “He’s the one you be thinking about when I fuck you, right?”
Young Bae rips his hands away and pushes Hansol off of him. As he stands he starts putting on his clothes while Hansol lays on the couch legs splayed and laughing. He’s tired of Hansol’s insecurities about Ji Yong and the constant barrage of innuendos and outright accusations. He was out of here, fuck him and fuck this.
“Where the fuck you going,” Hansol calls from the couch. “Come on, I was just playing.”
“I told you not to bring him up anymore,” Young Bae is done dressing and is on his way to the door. “I’m done.”
Suddenly he feels a pressure on his back and he’s pushed against the wall.
“WHAT THE FUCK!!” He screams as he starts fighting and pushing and Hansol starts fighting and pushing back all the while laughing. “GET THE FUCK OFF ME!”
“Just settle your ass down, Young Bae,” Hansol says as he tries to hold him down. “Just settle down, ok. I was just playing.”
Hansol has him pinned with his face facing the wall and his arm held down by the wrist at his waist, Hansol’s body is flushed against his and is helping in keeping him firmly in place. Young Bae feels kisses being pressed onto his neck and shoulder.
“If you would stop overreacting,” Hansol says as he lays more kisses on Young Bae’s neck. “We can get back to doing what we were doing.”
Young Bae was beyond pissed. He hated how Hansol would treat him like a stupid child and no, he won’t stop “overreacting” and he will get Hansol stupid ass off of him.
And so he head-butts him in the nose.
“YOU LITTLE BITCH,” Hansol screams and lets go and Young Bae rushes for the door. Before he gets two steps in he’s tackled from behind and now they were scrapping and fighting and everything goes to hell from there.
~~flashback ends~~
“…and after he …after he,” Young Bae had a hard time getting the word out. “…after he raped me he felt it would be best to make it up to me by..”
At this point Young Bae just starts sobbing and Ji Yong could do nothing more than hold him.
“Oh Bae,” He rocks him back and forth like he would a small child as tears leak from his eyes. He was going to kill Hansol, fucking kill him.
Don't you fucking know what you are?
Go on get back to where you belong!
You better take a good look cause I'm full of shit
With every bit of my heart I've tried to believe in it
You can dress it all up, you can try to pretend
But you can't change anything
You can't change anything
In the end
-
-"Every Day Is Exactly The Same" and "You Know What You Are?" by NIN
*Sorry this took so long to get out, I got distracted by Anime for like 2 days and then had a bit of writers block. And when I did go to post this there was a bunch of posting issues and LJ was acting up. Anyway, thanks for reading.