Fierce at the Heart with Fire [Ch. 2]
Ji Yong wakes up after a horrible night’s sleep. After waking up last night to Young Bae’s voice yelling (which almost never happens) and then finding out that that fucker Hansol was back and alone in a bedroom with Young Bae, it was like being punched in the guts. Why was he back? Wasn’t he and Young Bae over? Doesn’t Young Bae know he deserves better?
After getting dressed, Ji Yong heads to the kitchen to get himself some food. On the way down the hall he hears some voices, Young Bae and ….Hansol? He didn’t know what angers him the most, the fact that Hansol had dared come at all or the fact that Young Bae had let him spend the night. He takes a second to listen to their conversation.
“Come on, give me a kiss” He could hear Hansol cajoling. “Please, baby. Just one kiss.”
“No, can you just leave I -“ and then there was the sound of manhandling and Ji Yong was getting ready to intervene till he heard the sound of kissing and even a little moan from Young Bae. His already sour mood was further ruined; he seriously didn’t know what Young Bae saw in Hansol. He treated him like shit and wasn’t even that good looking.
Finally the door shuts and Ji Yong steps out from the hallway. Young Bae is standing by the door in just his pajama pants. His hair was in disarray and while his skin was tanned, Ji Yong swears he sees slight bruising along his back and sides. Along with love bites, he couldn’t help thinking.
“So Hansol’s back.” Ji Yong was just leaning against the wall, looking at Young Bae and trying to decipher what the hell was going on in that head of his.
Young Bae jumps and turns around, he looks a little lost but his features sharpen quickly. He throws a world weary glance at Ji Yong and then responds.
“I guess so.” He bites his lips and Ji Yong feels his breath catch a bit. God, this thing with Hansol has got me feeling sentimental now, he thinks. Young Bae is such a beautiful person, why is he doing this to himself?
“You know he’s no good for you, right?”
Young Bae looks at him and sighs. He wraps his arms around himself as if he’s cold but Ji Yong has known him long enough to see that gesture for what it is, an act of comfort. Young Bae looked so lost and Ji Yong honestly doesn't know what to do.
“Well Ji,” Young Bae says with a half-hearted laugh. “He was the only one here for me when I really needed someone.” Young Bae turns to look at him and there are tears and anger and disappointment in his eyes and Ji Yong could barely stand to look.
“And I had really needed someone Ji.”
Ji Yong had to look away and he could feel guilt churning around in his stomach, he didn’t know how to respond to this. Didn’t know what he could say. Young Bae was right.
“Are you blaming me?” He couldn’t help but ask. Young Bae was right to blame him, he blames himself.
Young Bae looks at him, rolls his eyes and scoffs. He starts walking away, up to the stairs to his room. Ji Yong couldn’t let him get away without explaining what the hell that reaction was about. If he wanted to blame him then just blame him. Young Bae needed to stop acting like everything was fine when it wasn’t and just tell him the truth, he could take it. It’s not like he didn’t know he had fucked up.
“Look, I’m sorry. I know that -”
Young Bae turns around and looks at him with a frustrated sigh.
“Ji Yong, can you not, please…” Young Bae looks and him and closes his eyes as if talking to him was the most difficult thing in the world. “Like seriously, it’s been a long day so can you just not?”
“Not what? I’m just trying to apologize.” He’s getting frustrated too since this is how all their conversations have gone for months and he’s tired of it. He’s sorry ok, he’s fucking sorry. He wishes Young Bae would talk to him instead of walking away all the damn time.
“That, stop doing that!” Young Bae practically yells at him. “Stop making it all about You.”
“What?” Ji Yong is confused and he doesn’t know what to say.
“Just for once realize that something has nothing to do with you,” Young Bae sighs. “I know it may be hard for you to believe since you’re always the center of everything but you don’t have anything to do with this.”
Ji Yong stares in shock as Young Bae rubs his eyes and turns around. As he watches Young Bae make his way up the stairs, Ji Yong suddenly finds himself yelling at his back.
“So you’re saying you’re not angry with me,” He shouts. “Cause the way you’ve been acting says otherwise.”
Young Bae pauses, halfway up the stairs. Without looking back he calls out.
“Don’t flatter yourself, you’re not the only person that has let me down,” Young Bae pauses. “You’re not even the most important.”
Ji Yong just watches as his best friend walks away from him. He’s still standing at the bottom of the stairs even after hearing Young Bae’s door close. He finally turns around and sees Seungri peeking out from his bedroom door.
“What” he calls out, frustrated.
“Nothing hyung.” Seungri quickly closes his door.
Standing at the bottom of the stairs, Ji Yong realizes that once again he has fucked up.
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do you see what I see...
-Stop & Stare by One Republic
After getting dressed, Ji Yong heads to the kitchen to get himself some food. On the way down the hall he hears some voices, Young Bae and ….Hansol? He didn’t know what angers him the most, the fact that Hansol had dared come at all or the fact that Young Bae had let him spend the night. He takes a second to listen to their conversation.
“Come on, give me a kiss” He could hear Hansol cajoling. “Please, baby. Just one kiss.”
“No, can you just leave I -“ and then there was the sound of manhandling and Ji Yong was getting ready to intervene till he heard the sound of kissing and even a little moan from Young Bae. His already sour mood was further ruined; he seriously didn’t know what Young Bae saw in Hansol. He treated him like shit and wasn’t even that good looking.
Finally the door shuts and Ji Yong steps out from the hallway. Young Bae is standing by the door in just his pajama pants. His hair was in disarray and while his skin was tanned, Ji Yong swears he sees slight bruising along his back and sides. Along with love bites, he couldn’t help thinking.
“So Hansol’s back.” Ji Yong was just leaning against the wall, looking at Young Bae and trying to decipher what the hell was going on in that head of his.
Young Bae jumps and turns around, he looks a little lost but his features sharpen quickly. He throws a world weary glance at Ji Yong and then responds.
“I guess so.” He bites his lips and Ji Yong feels his breath catch a bit. God, this thing with Hansol has got me feeling sentimental now, he thinks. Young Bae is such a beautiful person, why is he doing this to himself?
“You know he’s no good for you, right?”
Young Bae looks at him and sighs. He wraps his arms around himself as if he’s cold but Ji Yong has known him long enough to see that gesture for what it is, an act of comfort. Young Bae looked so lost and Ji Yong honestly doesn't know what to do.
“Well Ji,” Young Bae says with a half-hearted laugh. “He was the only one here for me when I really needed someone.” Young Bae turns to look at him and there are tears and anger and disappointment in his eyes and Ji Yong could barely stand to look.
“And I had really needed someone Ji.”
Ji Yong had to look away and he could feel guilt churning around in his stomach, he didn’t know how to respond to this. Didn’t know what he could say. Young Bae was right.
“Are you blaming me?” He couldn’t help but ask. Young Bae was right to blame him, he blames himself.
Young Bae looks at him, rolls his eyes and scoffs. He starts walking away, up to the stairs to his room. Ji Yong couldn’t let him get away without explaining what the hell that reaction was about. If he wanted to blame him then just blame him. Young Bae needed to stop acting like everything was fine when it wasn’t and just tell him the truth, he could take it. It’s not like he didn’t know he had fucked up.
“Look, I’m sorry. I know that -”
Young Bae turns around and looks at him with a frustrated sigh.
“Ji Yong, can you not, please…” Young Bae looks and him and closes his eyes as if talking to him was the most difficult thing in the world. “Like seriously, it’s been a long day so can you just not?”
“Not what? I’m just trying to apologize.” He’s getting frustrated too since this is how all their conversations have gone for months and he’s tired of it. He’s sorry ok, he’s fucking sorry. He wishes Young Bae would talk to him instead of walking away all the damn time.
“That, stop doing that!” Young Bae practically yells at him. “Stop making it all about You.”
“What?” Ji Yong is confused and he doesn’t know what to say.
“Just for once realize that something has nothing to do with you,” Young Bae sighs. “I know it may be hard for you to believe since you’re always the center of everything but you don’t have anything to do with this.”
Ji Yong stares in shock as Young Bae rubs his eyes and turns around. As he watches Young Bae make his way up the stairs, Ji Yong suddenly finds himself yelling at his back.
“So you’re saying you’re not angry with me,” He shouts. “Cause the way you’ve been acting says otherwise.”
Young Bae pauses, halfway up the stairs. Without looking back he calls out.
“Don’t flatter yourself, you’re not the only person that has let me down,” Young Bae pauses. “You’re not even the most important.”
Ji Yong just watches as his best friend walks away from him. He’s still standing at the bottom of the stairs even after hearing Young Bae’s door close. He finally turns around and sees Seungri peeking out from his bedroom door.
“What” he calls out, frustrated.
“Nothing hyung.” Seungri quickly closes his door.
Standing at the bottom of the stairs, Ji Yong realizes that once again he has fucked up.
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do you see what I see...
-Stop & Stare by One Republic