Fierce at the Heart with Fire [Ch. 1]
Hansol is behind him in the bed, sleeping. His arm is wrapped around him and they’re spooning like some couple from a stupid sitcom. Young Bae could feel his heavy breathing on the back of this neck and, if he was being honest with himself, it felt great cause he hadn’t had someone hold him like this since the last time Sol had dragged his skinny ass up here.
Last night was horrible, after leading Hansol to his room they got into a horrible argument that led to an even worse fight which had Seunghyun knocking on his door. Of course, Seunghyun probably wasn’t alone but had the other members with him, which is ridiculously embarrassing by the way, and now they would all know what was going on. He had told Seunghyun everything was fine despite repeated questions of ‘are you ok?’ and ‘is everything ok in there?’ and the very stupid ‘who’s in there with you?’ as if they didn’t already know.
And after the Seunghyun interruption their very physical fight had turned into very physical sex (though thankfully no actually penetration cause it’s been a while and he didn’t think his ass could take it the way they were going at it).
Honestly, Young Bae is ashamed. This was supposed to be over, he had decided that this would be the end of it and now look at him. He was going at it like a cat in heat yesterday.
He feels Sol shift behind him and then a hand is rubbing his thigh while kisses are being left down his back. The hand crawls up and he grabs it and stops it before it gets any closer to his cock. He also moves his neck away from the lips currently attached to it.
“Young Bae” Hansol starts, sounding frustrated.
“Look, Hansol,” Young Bae turns around to face him. “We’re not together. Last night was a mistake, a stupid mistake that shouldn’t be repeated.”
“Baby ple-”
“No seriously just leave, get out,” Young Bae starts sitting up and then he suddenly finds himself with arms wrapped around him.
“Look I’m sorry, I’m really really sorry.” Young Bae could feel tears on his shoulder from where Hansol’s face was resting and he seriously didn’t know what to do. He was sick of the back and forth, of the fighting, of the lies and the cheating, of the hiding and the pretending, of knowing he’s doing something wrong but not being able to help himself.
“I love you, I swear I love you and I’m sorry,” Hansol continues. “But you knew this wasn’t going to be easy, you knew that it would be hard for people like us.”
And he did know, he couldn’t play dumb. And he remembers talking about how hard it would be when they had started this. But he didn’t expect it to be so hard and he didn’t expect either of them to be like this.
“This is crazy,” Young Bae found himself saying. “You gave me a black eye last night.”
Hansol sits up a bit and looks down at him. “Don’t act like you didn’t hit me either,” he cocks his head to the side and says “it’s not even that bad anyway,”.
“It doesn’t matter,” Young Bae says. “I don’t want to be in a relationship like this.”
Hansol’s eyes darken as Young Bae spoke, and Young Bae was now a little scared. The look in Hansol’s eyes never singles anything good , it usually signals a fall in his self-esteem or a punch in the guts (Hansol rarely hits him in the face).
“Well then who are you going to date then?” Hansol got right in his face, so close that Young Bae felt forced to turn his head. He tries to get up, to push Hansol off of him but he was too strong, too big.
“You were a fucking virgin who couldn’t talk to anyone when I met you, in love with your fucking best friend who didn’t give a damn”
“That’s not true,” Young Bae found himself saying before he could even think about it.
“Shut up, shut the fuck up. “ Hansol got even closer now, practically whispering in Young Bae’s ear.
“You should be happy I even took a chance on you stupid ass,” he whispers. Young Bae feels tears in his eyes as Hansol plays on all his insecurities. “I took a chance on you midget ass and you keep fucking it up.”
Hansol suddenly stands up, naked and bruised and still beautiful. God I’m fucked up, Young Bae thinks. He yells at me, hits me and calls me names and I still think he’s beautiful, I’m fucked up.
“You’re short, you’re ugly and you’re talentless,” he says as he picks up his clothes. “I don’t even know why I’m even trying to stay with you.”
Young Bae ties to stop his tears but they’re already flowing.
“Hansol, please …I …” Young Bae could barely form his words. He didn’t know what to think.
Hansol stays at the door with only his jeans on, the rest of this clothes in his hand.
“What. What do you want?” He sounded pissed and Young Bae was wondering if he had really fucked it up. Why was he even being like this? Hansol loved him and that was what mattered, that was the only thing that mattered.
“I’m sorry,” Young Bae finds himself confessing and he admits it, he’s pathetic. But Hansol is right, who the hell else would even want him?
“I’m so sorry,” he repeats. His head is down and the room is blurred by his tears.
Hansol walks up to him, dark eyes intense and grabs him by the chin. He stares into Young Bae’s eyes for a bit, what he’s looking for Young Bae doesn’t know. But then he kisses him and Young Bae found himself responding, leaning into the touch and suddenly they’re back on the bed and are touching, hugging, kissing.
He loves me and that’s all that matters.
smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction
hush baby, speak softly, tell me you're awfully sorry
that you pushed me into the coffee table last night
so I can push you off me
try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me
run out the room and I'll follow you like a lost puppy
baby, without you, I'm nothing, I'm so lost, hug me
then tell me how ugly I am, but that you'll always love me
then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the
destructive path that we're on, two psychopaths
-Rihanna Love The Way You Lie, Part 2 ft. Eminem
Last night was horrible, after leading Hansol to his room they got into a horrible argument that led to an even worse fight which had Seunghyun knocking on his door. Of course, Seunghyun probably wasn’t alone but had the other members with him, which is ridiculously embarrassing by the way, and now they would all know what was going on. He had told Seunghyun everything was fine despite repeated questions of ‘are you ok?’ and ‘is everything ok in there?’ and the very stupid ‘who’s in there with you?’ as if they didn’t already know.
And after the Seunghyun interruption their very physical fight had turned into very physical sex (though thankfully no actually penetration cause it’s been a while and he didn’t think his ass could take it the way they were going at it).
Honestly, Young Bae is ashamed. This was supposed to be over, he had decided that this would be the end of it and now look at him. He was going at it like a cat in heat yesterday.
He feels Sol shift behind him and then a hand is rubbing his thigh while kisses are being left down his back. The hand crawls up and he grabs it and stops it before it gets any closer to his cock. He also moves his neck away from the lips currently attached to it.
“Young Bae” Hansol starts, sounding frustrated.
“Look, Hansol,” Young Bae turns around to face him. “We’re not together. Last night was a mistake, a stupid mistake that shouldn’t be repeated.”
“Baby ple-”
“No seriously just leave, get out,” Young Bae starts sitting up and then he suddenly finds himself with arms wrapped around him.
“Look I’m sorry, I’m really really sorry.” Young Bae could feel tears on his shoulder from where Hansol’s face was resting and he seriously didn’t know what to do. He was sick of the back and forth, of the fighting, of the lies and the cheating, of the hiding and the pretending, of knowing he’s doing something wrong but not being able to help himself.
“I love you, I swear I love you and I’m sorry,” Hansol continues. “But you knew this wasn’t going to be easy, you knew that it would be hard for people like us.”
And he did know, he couldn’t play dumb. And he remembers talking about how hard it would be when they had started this. But he didn’t expect it to be so hard and he didn’t expect either of them to be like this.
“This is crazy,” Young Bae found himself saying. “You gave me a black eye last night.”
Hansol sits up a bit and looks down at him. “Don’t act like you didn’t hit me either,” he cocks his head to the side and says “it’s not even that bad anyway,”.
“It doesn’t matter,” Young Bae says. “I don’t want to be in a relationship like this.”
Hansol’s eyes darken as Young Bae spoke, and Young Bae was now a little scared. The look in Hansol’s eyes never singles anything good , it usually signals a fall in his self-esteem or a punch in the guts (Hansol rarely hits him in the face).
“Well then who are you going to date then?” Hansol got right in his face, so close that Young Bae felt forced to turn his head. He tries to get up, to push Hansol off of him but he was too strong, too big.
“You were a fucking virgin who couldn’t talk to anyone when I met you, in love with your fucking best friend who didn’t give a damn”
“That’s not true,” Young Bae found himself saying before he could even think about it.
“Shut up, shut the fuck up. “ Hansol got even closer now, practically whispering in Young Bae’s ear.
“You should be happy I even took a chance on you stupid ass,” he whispers. Young Bae feels tears in his eyes as Hansol plays on all his insecurities. “I took a chance on you midget ass and you keep fucking it up.”
Hansol suddenly stands up, naked and bruised and still beautiful. God I’m fucked up, Young Bae thinks. He yells at me, hits me and calls me names and I still think he’s beautiful, I’m fucked up.
“You’re short, you’re ugly and you’re talentless,” he says as he picks up his clothes. “I don’t even know why I’m even trying to stay with you.”
Young Bae ties to stop his tears but they’re already flowing.
“Hansol, please …I …” Young Bae could barely form his words. He didn’t know what to think.
Hansol stays at the door with only his jeans on, the rest of this clothes in his hand.
“What. What do you want?” He sounded pissed and Young Bae was wondering if he had really fucked it up. Why was he even being like this? Hansol loved him and that was what mattered, that was the only thing that mattered.
“I’m sorry,” Young Bae finds himself confessing and he admits it, he’s pathetic. But Hansol is right, who the hell else would even want him?
“I’m so sorry,” he repeats. His head is down and the room is blurred by his tears.
Hansol walks up to him, dark eyes intense and grabs him by the chin. He stares into Young Bae’s eyes for a bit, what he’s looking for Young Bae doesn’t know. But then he kisses him and Young Bae found himself responding, leaning into the touch and suddenly they’re back on the bed and are touching, hugging, kissing.
He loves me and that’s all that matters.
smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction
hush baby, speak softly, tell me you're awfully sorry
that you pushed me into the coffee table last night
so I can push you off me
try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me
run out the room and I'll follow you like a lost puppy
baby, without you, I'm nothing, I'm so lost, hug me
then tell me how ugly I am, but that you'll always love me
then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the
destructive path that we're on, two psychopaths
-Rihanna Love The Way You Lie, Part 2 ft. Eminem