Let the past go past
Just a few moments ago I got a message on Facebook from a gal I went with to elementary school, junior high and high school. We'd been friends on and off. We'd been part of a little group of nerdy people who weren't popular and who were sometimes friends with me and sometimes mean like everybody else. I even wrote a story when I was about 12 that had all of them figuring prominently. The guy all us gals had a crush on, as it turns out, is gay. Figures. Damned hindsight.
The old gal friend on Facebook asked if I want to get together with her and two other people we used to hang out with... who she is still very close friends with all these years later.
I actually find myself wondering what the value would be of doing that. I went to meet her in the first place just to see if she'd managed to do something with her life. She had not. She still lives at home with her mother. She's never had a long-term boyfriend. She's dated "over 200" men.
I wonder if it would be mean to go, just to see how much better I feel about not still being part of their friendship circle than I could ever have imagined if I'd remained part of it as they have over these 30 years.
It's good to feel evolved. But I also hope that being in their company teaches me a lesson, as each time I've been with them has taught me one in the past as well. One meeting with this gal from my childhood and it astounded me how small her world was because her self esteem is as low as it is. She's bored and boring and lonely. My heart goes out to her and while there's a part of me who wants to try to help her as I've helped other friends, there's another part of me who thinks that's a very bad idea for a variety of reasons.
I'm interested in hearing other people's opinions on this sort of thing. Comments are welcome and will be screened so you can give them privately or send them in emails. I'm truly interested in what people think of this scenario.
To see a trio of friends from the past, or not?
The old gal friend on Facebook asked if I want to get together with her and two other people we used to hang out with... who she is still very close friends with all these years later.
I actually find myself wondering what the value would be of doing that. I went to meet her in the first place just to see if she'd managed to do something with her life. She had not. She still lives at home with her mother. She's never had a long-term boyfriend. She's dated "over 200" men.
I wonder if it would be mean to go, just to see how much better I feel about not still being part of their friendship circle than I could ever have imagined if I'd remained part of it as they have over these 30 years.
It's good to feel evolved. But I also hope that being in their company teaches me a lesson, as each time I've been with them has taught me one in the past as well. One meeting with this gal from my childhood and it astounded me how small her world was because her self esteem is as low as it is. She's bored and boring and lonely. My heart goes out to her and while there's a part of me who wants to try to help her as I've helped other friends, there's another part of me who thinks that's a very bad idea for a variety of reasons.
I'm interested in hearing other people's opinions on this sort of thing. Comments are welcome and will be screened so you can give them privately or send them in emails. I'm truly interested in what people think of this scenario.
To see a trio of friends from the past, or not?