Acceptance
Even I have some things that I carry so much shame about that I don't talk about it. Even me, with the totally open policy in every other respect. Only those who are the very closest to me ever learn about this bit of mishugas (craziness). Usually they offer to try to help me fix the problem.
I've tried to fix it through my whole life. I've been in therapy on and off since the age of eight. I've tried every type of therapy I could. I've tried as many options as I could. I found that every time I tried something else and failed, it just caused another hit on my self-esteem and self-worth. Every time someone learned of my issue and offered to fix it and failed or I failed to fix it with their help, I took yet another hit on my self-esteem and self-worth. The result has been a never-ending spiral downward through my life.
With the relationship with A&K going as well as it has, I felt it was time for me to expose my issue. Either it would be like all the others and they'd be looking for me to fix the problem in time or... maybe, just maybe, they wouldn't. All indications up until then was that they would be fine with it, but I was fearful based on my history.
I should have known that as with all other things they have already accepted everything about me for what it is. As I've accepted everything about them for what they are. For the first time in my life, I feel like I might just be able to relax and just be unapologetically myself.
Being real isn't easy for me, but it is proving to be extremely rewarding on numerous levels.
My life does NOT suck.
I've tried to fix it through my whole life. I've been in therapy on and off since the age of eight. I've tried every type of therapy I could. I've tried as many options as I could. I found that every time I tried something else and failed, it just caused another hit on my self-esteem and self-worth. Every time someone learned of my issue and offered to fix it and failed or I failed to fix it with their help, I took yet another hit on my self-esteem and self-worth. The result has been a never-ending spiral downward through my life.
With the relationship with A&K going as well as it has, I felt it was time for me to expose my issue. Either it would be like all the others and they'd be looking for me to fix the problem in time or... maybe, just maybe, they wouldn't. All indications up until then was that they would be fine with it, but I was fearful based on my history.
I should have known that as with all other things they have already accepted everything about me for what it is. As I've accepted everything about them for what they are. For the first time in my life, I feel like I might just be able to relax and just be unapologetically myself.
Being real isn't easy for me, but it is proving to be extremely rewarding on numerous levels.
My life does NOT suck.