My hair is in my eyes... and thats annoying
Today was a tiring day...
So in school, I had three test/ quiz things, and I don't think I did well on ANY of them... I'm really hoping and praying that my science one rising from the 64 the computer said I got.... god please god I hate failing.
I felt sorta, I don't know.... anxious, today in school... just because I promised myself that like something would happen, liek somebody liking me or being in a relationship by winter vacation, but I realized I didn't really do much to get into that perdicament, so I don't expect things to walk to me on their own.... plus I'm not even entirely sure if I want to be in a relationship, if I can hardly handle life as it is now, how could have to think about even more.... I guess it hurts so freakin bad though, like if you like somebody so gash darn much, but you know they'll never like you back, and even if you do, you'll never know that untill its too late anyways. But I guess by realizing this, I sorta let go off my monthly likeing somebodywicked bad that It makes me want to scream out loud.... I don't even look at it seriously anymore, maybe I'm more obsessed with people other than just liing them, maybe I want to be them.... i have no clue. AND i don't really care to know, OR to build off this either.
So today, alyssa came after school at around 5.... even though we didn't do much at all, I still had a really fun time. The first half we sorta sat there, and made like weird snacks lol, and had strawberry milk, and made belated valentines day cards. and then we did some signign when my dad went to go get the pizza, but I freeze up so bad, I dunno why, I need to improve on just singing without worrying so much... when I sing alone, i know its soo good, why cant I just sing ah!, its not that big of a deal, its justt like talking lol. But yea, It took me like half the time just to warm up to sining, then my dad came home and I dind't want to anymore.... but then I decided why not, so after me and alyssa did the finishing touchs on our cards, and ate our pizza, and had cahi tea latte lol, we did some singing.... and we were doing good... but then my mom came in! So i dindt want to signing again, and she seemed abit upset cause she has alot on her plate right now, so I sorta dind't warm back up to wanting to sing right away, so we decided to just play guitar and piano.... and when that got boring we did just abit of singing, but then my dad came downstairs, and I sorta didn't feel like singing anymore.... But alyssa did, so go alyssa, lol... but I had fun... I'm glade we are the kind of people who can just sit there and draw all day long and still enjoy eachothers company, we don't have to do much to occupy ourselfs, so what normally seems boring to some, is perfectly alright with us lol.... so i had fun just chilling out today... but occasionally i guess its good to have a truely exhillirating day.
So after that, when she went home, me and my dad talked... and got on the topic of jobs, and what I want to do with my life....
This is the first time he ever really even sorta told me that my talents might get me somewhere... no he didn't say i was gunna be like an artist, or a rockstar, but he said that they realte to other more realistic jobs, and so if when you persue your realistic job in college, and you like it but its not wokring out, or something happens, to still keep your other talents that may seem liek they cant possibly ever get you anywhere cause a: they may, you never know, and b: they could have to do alot with another job that you could try and exceed in pretty well also.... So i'm going to keep working on what i like, and concern less about my future... i think I realisticly want to be a pharmasist, like the people who mix chemicle compounds to make drugs... orrrr i dunno, something like that. and if that dosn't quite work out I may persue advertising, and maybe try to see if i can get into the things id really want to do like modeling, or even singing.... I mean those may not work out... but I could also end up like being a photographer taking pictures of models, or a music manager and I could sign bands and singers, probabally hundreds of other things too, and all of these owuld pay decent, and be things i'd like to persue..... so i think I have my rough idea of what i want to be, and for now I'll focus on the present, not the future...
Things I need to do
I need too....
-call the voice. guitar teacher, and actually talk to him
-start working on my french project topic of normandy
-call the crew tommorow to see if im going snow tubing
-make plans with alyssa sometime this week so we can actually sing lol
-make plans probably also with sara to, maybe alyssa and sara, just so i can see her this week cause me and sara, if we don't see eachother for a week, we start getting crazy...lol, no jk, we just arn't use to not seeing eachother
-start getting a better sleeping schedual/ eating/ taking my vitimins everyday
- and thats about almost it, maybe not, but thats all i wanna list...
good night
sleep tight.... so you don't fall off your matress
So in school, I had three test/ quiz things, and I don't think I did well on ANY of them... I'm really hoping and praying that my science one rising from the 64 the computer said I got.... god please god I hate failing.
I felt sorta, I don't know.... anxious, today in school... just because I promised myself that like something would happen, liek somebody liking me or being in a relationship by winter vacation, but I realized I didn't really do much to get into that perdicament, so I don't expect things to walk to me on their own.... plus I'm not even entirely sure if I want to be in a relationship, if I can hardly handle life as it is now, how could have to think about even more.... I guess it hurts so freakin bad though, like if you like somebody so gash darn much, but you know they'll never like you back, and even if you do, you'll never know that untill its too late anyways. But I guess by realizing this, I sorta let go off my monthly likeing somebodywicked bad that It makes me want to scream out loud.... I don't even look at it seriously anymore, maybe I'm more obsessed with people other than just liing them, maybe I want to be them.... i have no clue. AND i don't really care to know, OR to build off this either.
So today, alyssa came after school at around 5.... even though we didn't do much at all, I still had a really fun time. The first half we sorta sat there, and made like weird snacks lol, and had strawberry milk, and made belated valentines day cards. and then we did some signign when my dad went to go get the pizza, but I freeze up so bad, I dunno why, I need to improve on just singing without worrying so much... when I sing alone, i know its soo good, why cant I just sing ah!, its not that big of a deal, its justt like talking lol. But yea, It took me like half the time just to warm up to sining, then my dad came home and I dind't want to anymore.... but then I decided why not, so after me and alyssa did the finishing touchs on our cards, and ate our pizza, and had cahi tea latte lol, we did some singing.... and we were doing good... but then my mom came in! So i dindt want to signing again, and she seemed abit upset cause she has alot on her plate right now, so I sorta dind't warm back up to wanting to sing right away, so we decided to just play guitar and piano.... and when that got boring we did just abit of singing, but then my dad came downstairs, and I sorta didn't feel like singing anymore.... But alyssa did, so go alyssa, lol... but I had fun... I'm glade we are the kind of people who can just sit there and draw all day long and still enjoy eachothers company, we don't have to do much to occupy ourselfs, so what normally seems boring to some, is perfectly alright with us lol.... so i had fun just chilling out today... but occasionally i guess its good to have a truely exhillirating day.
So after that, when she went home, me and my dad talked... and got on the topic of jobs, and what I want to do with my life....
This is the first time he ever really even sorta told me that my talents might get me somewhere... no he didn't say i was gunna be like an artist, or a rockstar, but he said that they realte to other more realistic jobs, and so if when you persue your realistic job in college, and you like it but its not wokring out, or something happens, to still keep your other talents that may seem liek they cant possibly ever get you anywhere cause a: they may, you never know, and b: they could have to do alot with another job that you could try and exceed in pretty well also.... So i'm going to keep working on what i like, and concern less about my future... i think I realisticly want to be a pharmasist, like the people who mix chemicle compounds to make drugs... orrrr i dunno, something like that. and if that dosn't quite work out I may persue advertising, and maybe try to see if i can get into the things id really want to do like modeling, or even singing.... I mean those may not work out... but I could also end up like being a photographer taking pictures of models, or a music manager and I could sign bands and singers, probabally hundreds of other things too, and all of these owuld pay decent, and be things i'd like to persue..... so i think I have my rough idea of what i want to be, and for now I'll focus on the present, not the future...
Things I need to do
I need too....
-call the voice. guitar teacher, and actually talk to him
-start working on my french project topic of normandy
-call the crew tommorow to see if im going snow tubing
-make plans with alyssa sometime this week so we can actually sing lol
-make plans probably also with sara to, maybe alyssa and sara, just so i can see her this week cause me and sara, if we don't see eachother for a week, we start getting crazy...lol, no jk, we just arn't use to not seeing eachother
-start getting a better sleeping schedual/ eating/ taking my vitimins everyday
- and thats about almost it, maybe not, but thats all i wanna list...
good night
sleep tight.... so you don't fall off your matress