MAGA Extremism
The media didn't even wait 24 hours before they started back up on their usual schtick. Cautioning that *Trump supporters* may try to "retaliate" after what happened on Saturday. Blaming Trump himself for getting shot. Saying "his rhetoric" lead to this. Not their own and their leaders all calling him Hitler and his supporters Nazis for the past eight years. No, there is no complicity on the left. They are as moral, righteous and innocent as Christ himself, who they don't even believe existed.
I also learned what I already knew firsthand yesterday when I went out for lunch with the Trump flag on the back of the Jeep. Many looks of rage and one passenger in a car inparticular who was pounding his middle finger at me through a passing car's windshield as I drove by (I had sunglasses on, so he didn't even know that I saw him doing it). Nothing has changed. Unity is a fantasy. And the left is still and will always be the enemy of rational, sane people.
Trump made an appearance last night at the RNC. The first public appearance since being shot. He definitely looked different to me. He looked a little nervous stepping out into the crowd. He looked tired. Worn down from the experience no doubt, and the aftermath of having to put on a symbol of strength.
I've seen even more evidence with my own eyes that this assassination attempt was likely allowed to happen. Someone posited there could only be two scenarios to explain the chain of events that occurred. Either it was the single most gross display of incompetence ever shown by the Secret Service. Or it was allowed to happen. A full two minutes and one second passed between when people were screaming about the kid on the roof with the rifle and from when he took his first shot. A cop apparently even climbed on the roof and confronted the kid, who turned his rifle around and the cop fled.
It reminds me of when those cops did nothing at that grade school and just sat outside the door while that psychopath murdered little kids. This is why I cannot get behind 'Back The Blue'. Because just like most people, cops seem untrustworthy. At least all the ones that end up around Trump and his supporters. And when liberals and BLM Marxists are burning cities and murdering people, they stand there and do nothing.
This whole situation has really prompted a lot of self-reflection and analysis within me (as most situations seem to). We had to take the flags down out front around 10 last night because we had potential tornados in the area. And it got very, very windy, so I was glad that Taco had texted me mentioning the storm. Otherwise our flags may have ended up across town. This meant I had to go out there this morning and reset the poles in the ground that hold the PVC mounts up, as several had already leaned in the wind before we got out there.
It was a whole mini project as I was starting my day. All the while the psycho feminist next door, or at least her shed living boyfriend, was emerging from said shed to start the day. These flags are a middle finger to them. A middle finger to everyone in my past that I shouldn't even care about. I think I touched on it yesterday. These unresolved issues within myself about my upbringing, my school experiences and generally being surrounded by people my entire life who either laughed and mocked my beliefs and opinions or felt it was their duty to change then. Time and time again I have had to endure encounters and relationships with people who thought they were smarter than me, superior to me and all the rest. And no matter where I've gone in life, those situations reoccur. Case in point, the Communist, feminist neighbor. I think what it is is a kind of shock that I allowed myself to be treated this way for so long (and that it still happens).
And like I also talked about yesterday, this is about my own personal fear. My fear of having an opinion or belief. My fear of standing by that. My fear of confrontation. A fear of not being able to defend myself. But, the trick of it is that I am not *required* to defend myself. I owe no one anything when it comes to explaining myself. Except to my partner. Not old friends, not my family, not some cunt cat hoarder next door. This is about self-belief, self-worth, self-acceptance.
As I walked up the driveway after placing the last flag, I really felt how this was all connected to my youth, my entire span of life. My feelings of helplessness as a kid. How I look back and remember that weak, silent boy I was, who was unable to speak for himself. Unable to defend himself. I hated myself in those days for being weak. I physically hurt myself because I hated myself so much. I didn't and couldn't have possibly known any better at the time. Again, I was just a kid.
This is not to lay all blame, but I was brought up in a family where I was taught to be weak. Where I was mocked for being who I was. Then I was put into a school system where cruel peers continued that behavior and ramped up the harsh lessons in rejection and abuse. I graduated and started to become my own person. Yet, even still I allowed myself to be abused. I was a coward so many times in my life. I was so unsure of myself. Even as some people outside of me thought I was so confident and so self-assured. The truth couldn't have been farther.
I think what they saw was the possibility of those things in me. I do think I always had it within myself to learn confidence. To learn self-worth. I don't know how I knew these concepts, growing up how I did, but perhaps they are innate within everyone and it just takes time or a particular situation to motivate them.
So I am walking up the driveway defiantly. Thinking to myself that I don't give a fuck what people think. I don't care that we don't get along with this neighbor. If I had stayed silent that night that she was insulting and dehumanizing us without even knowing she was doing it, what kind of person would that make me? What kind of coward would that make me? To hide or lie about who I was or what I believed just to "get along" with someone.
If I had stayed friends with all those faggots in Chicago I'd known most of my adult life, what would that have said about me as a person? It took me years to build up the confidence to finally say "no" when it came to some of them and their behavior. Especially with Rockwell, whose brutal narcissism held sway over my life and development for years (and still does to the Doctor).
Had I not seen the true face of my family, would I be able to have some of the realizations I have had about myself the past year (and longer)? Would my mother's faulty programming of me to fear everything still be controlling my life? Even into my adulthood I sought her approval for so many things I did. While also hiding so much of who I was to avoid her disapproval. Not negative aspects of who I was in many cases. Just my very personhood. Lest it be left open to mockery and judgment. What a terrible thing for a child to have such experiences with a parent. The echoes of which ring on through adulthood.
Maybe it sounds stupid that all these personal issues and past traumas are wrapped up in my support for President Trump. It absolutely was his presence in the 2016 presidential race and the shockwaves that had on all my relationships and the world that helped to change me. The Sparrow too, meeting him around that time, also showed me a different way of thinking and seeing myself. It seems that 2016 really was a turning point in my entire existence. Everything changed at that time. Everything. From moving into a house, to ending toxic relationships, finding a healthy one, beginning the next step of the journey in becoming my own person.
The flags are a 'fuck you' to every person that every tried to tell me how to think. The t-shirts and the MAGA hats are a 'fuck you' to all the people I don't even know in public who would pass judgement on me without even knowing me. They are also tools in my self-education, as I learn more and more not to give a damn what anyone thinks and to confront fears that once crippled me.
This is not to say I don't support the policies of Donald Trump or don't love his personality, because I do. I am not a "cUlT mEMBeR" like the leftist cult calls me. Supporting Trump seems like the most obvious and logical thing to do. It does now and it did in 2016. Simply by the liberals own behavior it was obvious and logical.
It was suggested once a long time ago that I was a Trump fan for attention. But, I don't even see how that makes any sense. All other issues aside, there was nothing logical about putting almost every friendship I had at risk in order to take the stance. If conservatives were really hateful bigots, there would be nothing logical about putting myself in the middle of them at rallies and vehicle parades, blatantly putting it out there that I was gay. There would have been plenty of other things I could have done besides taken a route that seems the most prosecutorial.
But that idea also suggests once again, that I am not thinking for myself but doing things for the sake of other people and their opinions. I've always been sick of other people and tended to be a loner in general. I cannot think of anything more sickening to me than doing something to get approval from other people. Yes, in earlier days I did so with my parents, but I was seeing the toxicity of that for years even before I stopped doing it. Other people's opinions simply do not matter. It is at once a most obvious statement and yet incredibly profound for anyone that has ever lived a life of low self-esteem and seeking approval.
No person that ever tried mocking me and putting me down had the kind of life worthy to place themselves in judgement of me. Usually the loudest, most boorish detractors were the ones with the most messed up lives. (There's totally something else that I heard this last weekend I've been wanting to write about along these very lines). I'm not saying necessarily that I am above any of these people. I have my own issues, my own problems obviously that I've spent my entire life trying to work through. If I do have opinions about other people, I tend to keep them to myself and the Sparrow.
If I can swing back to general politics here, I was also thinking about the amazing restraint that people on the right and Trump supporters have shown. Liberals, leftists, call them what you will... they have spent years instigating, gaslighting, physically attacking the opposition and literally burning cities. They are unhinged, violent automatons that the media and the Democrat party switch on and off with no effort whatsoever. So much so the unhinged left has even attacked their own party. Especially over the Israel/Palestine thing.
Conservatives have been mocked, ridiculed, scapegoated... from the media, the cult leftists, their neighbors, their coworkers and family... even the Resident in Chief himself has stood at podiums and antagonized Trump supporters. They WANT someone on the right to do something. They are probably sad that no Trump supporter has yet retaliated over the assassination attempt. It's double sadness for them because I absolutely believe they wanted him dead Saturday. Whether or not someone in the administration orchestrated it will never be known. But it's not outside of the realm of possibility.
As mad as they make us, they must be equally as mad that we don't as a group ever seem to react. That is why they had to blow "jAnUaRy 6tH" so out of proportion. Nothing happened that day even closely resembling an "iNnSuRrECtIon". Leftists were more unhinged when that drug addict loser George Floyd died. Yet, there are still conservatives in prison right now because of that non-event. The closest it seems that it's ever gotten to Trump supporters "being violent" is them walking within the ropes of the Capitol Building after the POLICE let them in.
I could go on the Internet and probably find three hours of footage in my first basic search looking for liberals attacking Trump supporters. I've seen the videos. They've made me sick to my stomach. The left cheers it. The left is sad Trump wasn't killed. Not "some" of them, like people want to say. They ALL are upset he's still alive. From Lezzo to my Mom to Stacy's family to the Sparrow's coworker Miss Science. They wanted him dead and still do. And they are mad as hell that he somehow, in a one in a billion chance, survived.
That is why I was getting flipped off yesterday. They wanted him dead. And they want me dead too. They want all Trump supporters dead. They are violent, mentally unhinged, dangerous people. And what incredible fucking restraint the right has shown in dealing with these petulant children. I've always seen the left as the little brother and the right as the big brother. The little brother instigates and mocks and tries copying the big brother's actions, always coming across half-assed.
I keep saying I am just like them, and I don't like it but it is true. I want to see them face justice. I want to see them cry when they lose. I want to see them getting pelted with eggs or water bottles. I want to ship every single one of these fucking assholes over to Iran or Palestine and let them see the reception they get for their ideas and their beliefs in places that they seem to love so much. Because they do not love this country. They hate America and it is obvious and shows on all their faces and in every word they speak.
I heard something very interesting and quite logical yesterday. The left and their "leaders" have been crying about the threat to Democracy for months. That Trump is a threat. Yet, the polls have shown him on top for quite a while now. So if we are talking "Democracy", then it seems the will of the people according to the polls is to reelect Trump. But they don't like that. They ramp up their cries about the "tHrEaT tO dEmoCrAcY". Why? Because they don't give a flying fuck about Democracy. All they care about is power.
I also learned what I already knew firsthand yesterday when I went out for lunch with the Trump flag on the back of the Jeep. Many looks of rage and one passenger in a car inparticular who was pounding his middle finger at me through a passing car's windshield as I drove by (I had sunglasses on, so he didn't even know that I saw him doing it). Nothing has changed. Unity is a fantasy. And the left is still and will always be the enemy of rational, sane people.
Trump made an appearance last night at the RNC. The first public appearance since being shot. He definitely looked different to me. He looked a little nervous stepping out into the crowd. He looked tired. Worn down from the experience no doubt, and the aftermath of having to put on a symbol of strength.
I've seen even more evidence with my own eyes that this assassination attempt was likely allowed to happen. Someone posited there could only be two scenarios to explain the chain of events that occurred. Either it was the single most gross display of incompetence ever shown by the Secret Service. Or it was allowed to happen. A full two minutes and one second passed between when people were screaming about the kid on the roof with the rifle and from when he took his first shot. A cop apparently even climbed on the roof and confronted the kid, who turned his rifle around and the cop fled.
It reminds me of when those cops did nothing at that grade school and just sat outside the door while that psychopath murdered little kids. This is why I cannot get behind 'Back The Blue'. Because just like most people, cops seem untrustworthy. At least all the ones that end up around Trump and his supporters. And when liberals and BLM Marxists are burning cities and murdering people, they stand there and do nothing.
This whole situation has really prompted a lot of self-reflection and analysis within me (as most situations seem to). We had to take the flags down out front around 10 last night because we had potential tornados in the area. And it got very, very windy, so I was glad that Taco had texted me mentioning the storm. Otherwise our flags may have ended up across town. This meant I had to go out there this morning and reset the poles in the ground that hold the PVC mounts up, as several had already leaned in the wind before we got out there.
It was a whole mini project as I was starting my day. All the while the psycho feminist next door, or at least her shed living boyfriend, was emerging from said shed to start the day. These flags are a middle finger to them. A middle finger to everyone in my past that I shouldn't even care about. I think I touched on it yesterday. These unresolved issues within myself about my upbringing, my school experiences and generally being surrounded by people my entire life who either laughed and mocked my beliefs and opinions or felt it was their duty to change then. Time and time again I have had to endure encounters and relationships with people who thought they were smarter than me, superior to me and all the rest. And no matter where I've gone in life, those situations reoccur. Case in point, the Communist, feminist neighbor. I think what it is is a kind of shock that I allowed myself to be treated this way for so long (and that it still happens).
And like I also talked about yesterday, this is about my own personal fear. My fear of having an opinion or belief. My fear of standing by that. My fear of confrontation. A fear of not being able to defend myself. But, the trick of it is that I am not *required* to defend myself. I owe no one anything when it comes to explaining myself. Except to my partner. Not old friends, not my family, not some cunt cat hoarder next door. This is about self-belief, self-worth, self-acceptance.
As I walked up the driveway after placing the last flag, I really felt how this was all connected to my youth, my entire span of life. My feelings of helplessness as a kid. How I look back and remember that weak, silent boy I was, who was unable to speak for himself. Unable to defend himself. I hated myself in those days for being weak. I physically hurt myself because I hated myself so much. I didn't and couldn't have possibly known any better at the time. Again, I was just a kid.
This is not to lay all blame, but I was brought up in a family where I was taught to be weak. Where I was mocked for being who I was. Then I was put into a school system where cruel peers continued that behavior and ramped up the harsh lessons in rejection and abuse. I graduated and started to become my own person. Yet, even still I allowed myself to be abused. I was a coward so many times in my life. I was so unsure of myself. Even as some people outside of me thought I was so confident and so self-assured. The truth couldn't have been farther.
I think what they saw was the possibility of those things in me. I do think I always had it within myself to learn confidence. To learn self-worth. I don't know how I knew these concepts, growing up how I did, but perhaps they are innate within everyone and it just takes time or a particular situation to motivate them.
So I am walking up the driveway defiantly. Thinking to myself that I don't give a fuck what people think. I don't care that we don't get along with this neighbor. If I had stayed silent that night that she was insulting and dehumanizing us without even knowing she was doing it, what kind of person would that make me? What kind of coward would that make me? To hide or lie about who I was or what I believed just to "get along" with someone.
If I had stayed friends with all those faggots in Chicago I'd known most of my adult life, what would that have said about me as a person? It took me years to build up the confidence to finally say "no" when it came to some of them and their behavior. Especially with Rockwell, whose brutal narcissism held sway over my life and development for years (and still does to the Doctor).
Had I not seen the true face of my family, would I be able to have some of the realizations I have had about myself the past year (and longer)? Would my mother's faulty programming of me to fear everything still be controlling my life? Even into my adulthood I sought her approval for so many things I did. While also hiding so much of who I was to avoid her disapproval. Not negative aspects of who I was in many cases. Just my very personhood. Lest it be left open to mockery and judgment. What a terrible thing for a child to have such experiences with a parent. The echoes of which ring on through adulthood.
Maybe it sounds stupid that all these personal issues and past traumas are wrapped up in my support for President Trump. It absolutely was his presence in the 2016 presidential race and the shockwaves that had on all my relationships and the world that helped to change me. The Sparrow too, meeting him around that time, also showed me a different way of thinking and seeing myself. It seems that 2016 really was a turning point in my entire existence. Everything changed at that time. Everything. From moving into a house, to ending toxic relationships, finding a healthy one, beginning the next step of the journey in becoming my own person.
The flags are a 'fuck you' to every person that every tried to tell me how to think. The t-shirts and the MAGA hats are a 'fuck you' to all the people I don't even know in public who would pass judgement on me without even knowing me. They are also tools in my self-education, as I learn more and more not to give a damn what anyone thinks and to confront fears that once crippled me.
This is not to say I don't support the policies of Donald Trump or don't love his personality, because I do. I am not a "cUlT mEMBeR" like the leftist cult calls me. Supporting Trump seems like the most obvious and logical thing to do. It does now and it did in 2016. Simply by the liberals own behavior it was obvious and logical.
It was suggested once a long time ago that I was a Trump fan for attention. But, I don't even see how that makes any sense. All other issues aside, there was nothing logical about putting almost every friendship I had at risk in order to take the stance. If conservatives were really hateful bigots, there would be nothing logical about putting myself in the middle of them at rallies and vehicle parades, blatantly putting it out there that I was gay. There would have been plenty of other things I could have done besides taken a route that seems the most prosecutorial.
But that idea also suggests once again, that I am not thinking for myself but doing things for the sake of other people and their opinions. I've always been sick of other people and tended to be a loner in general. I cannot think of anything more sickening to me than doing something to get approval from other people. Yes, in earlier days I did so with my parents, but I was seeing the toxicity of that for years even before I stopped doing it. Other people's opinions simply do not matter. It is at once a most obvious statement and yet incredibly profound for anyone that has ever lived a life of low self-esteem and seeking approval.
No person that ever tried mocking me and putting me down had the kind of life worthy to place themselves in judgement of me. Usually the loudest, most boorish detractors were the ones with the most messed up lives. (There's totally something else that I heard this last weekend I've been wanting to write about along these very lines). I'm not saying necessarily that I am above any of these people. I have my own issues, my own problems obviously that I've spent my entire life trying to work through. If I do have opinions about other people, I tend to keep them to myself and the Sparrow.
If I can swing back to general politics here, I was also thinking about the amazing restraint that people on the right and Trump supporters have shown. Liberals, leftists, call them what you will... they have spent years instigating, gaslighting, physically attacking the opposition and literally burning cities. They are unhinged, violent automatons that the media and the Democrat party switch on and off with no effort whatsoever. So much so the unhinged left has even attacked their own party. Especially over the Israel/Palestine thing.
Conservatives have been mocked, ridiculed, scapegoated... from the media, the cult leftists, their neighbors, their coworkers and family... even the Resident in Chief himself has stood at podiums and antagonized Trump supporters. They WANT someone on the right to do something. They are probably sad that no Trump supporter has yet retaliated over the assassination attempt. It's double sadness for them because I absolutely believe they wanted him dead Saturday. Whether or not someone in the administration orchestrated it will never be known. But it's not outside of the realm of possibility.
As mad as they make us, they must be equally as mad that we don't as a group ever seem to react. That is why they had to blow "jAnUaRy 6tH" so out of proportion. Nothing happened that day even closely resembling an "iNnSuRrECtIon". Leftists were more unhinged when that drug addict loser George Floyd died. Yet, there are still conservatives in prison right now because of that non-event. The closest it seems that it's ever gotten to Trump supporters "being violent" is them walking within the ropes of the Capitol Building after the POLICE let them in.
I could go on the Internet and probably find three hours of footage in my first basic search looking for liberals attacking Trump supporters. I've seen the videos. They've made me sick to my stomach. The left cheers it. The left is sad Trump wasn't killed. Not "some" of them, like people want to say. They ALL are upset he's still alive. From Lezzo to my Mom to Stacy's family to the Sparrow's coworker Miss Science. They wanted him dead and still do. And they are mad as hell that he somehow, in a one in a billion chance, survived.
That is why I was getting flipped off yesterday. They wanted him dead. And they want me dead too. They want all Trump supporters dead. They are violent, mentally unhinged, dangerous people. And what incredible fucking restraint the right has shown in dealing with these petulant children. I've always seen the left as the little brother and the right as the big brother. The little brother instigates and mocks and tries copying the big brother's actions, always coming across half-assed.
I keep saying I am just like them, and I don't like it but it is true. I want to see them face justice. I want to see them cry when they lose. I want to see them getting pelted with eggs or water bottles. I want to ship every single one of these fucking assholes over to Iran or Palestine and let them see the reception they get for their ideas and their beliefs in places that they seem to love so much. Because they do not love this country. They hate America and it is obvious and shows on all their faces and in every word they speak.
I heard something very interesting and quite logical yesterday. The left and their "leaders" have been crying about the threat to Democracy for months. That Trump is a threat. Yet, the polls have shown him on top for quite a while now. So if we are talking "Democracy", then it seems the will of the people according to the polls is to reelect Trump. But they don't like that. They ramp up their cries about the "tHrEaT tO dEmoCrAcY". Why? Because they don't give a flying fuck about Democracy. All they care about is power.