Oh sweet freedom carry me along
I am in a good mood today. I mean I am down right fucking chipper. Yes, "chipper". It’s the only word that could possibly describe my current condition. Even tired as usual, I am "chipper".
It started when I felt accomplished with all I took care of this morning. Then I whipped out the chunk of watermelon I got from my parents and sliced it up and happily offered some two to of my coworkers. Then I talked to the woman whose laptop I was rebuilding on the phone and finished it up so she could come pick it up. She just did and I was extra nice to her. Now I am swapping out a PC for this accounting woman who I usually get very angry at because of her accent and the heavy doses of perfume she wears, but I’ll be damned if I am not as cordial as a priest on Sunday.
As usual I feel like it’s all teetering in the balance and at any moment Dearest will come up and light my fuse. Especially since, once I get this other machine swapped, I really won’t have much to do in the way of looking busy. It’s key around here, more so than actual accomplishments, that I "look" as busy as possible as much as possible.
Lexapro my ass. This is the best I’ve felt since I started feeling all this "goodness" last week. It feels like it’s almost uninhibited goodness. It always comes when I am tired though so I wonder if it’s a form of delirium.
Why is the banana I got from my mom more edible than the ones I pick?? Mine go from green to black in about 10 hours. The one she gave me is perfectly ripe. Is it a mother thing?
Bombs are exploding, people are losing their heads and I still managed to feel okay today. This is quite a big deal. Especially since less than a day ago I was looking at the photographs of that Paul Johnson guy and his severed head I found on Wikipedia.
I really want to go to Paris this week too. I was reading up on the definition of a bohemian as well, and it just gave me that itch to satiate my artistic side. It led me back to Oscar Wilde in a round about way, and made me want to get back to reading that biography of his I put down after several chapters over the spring.
’On The Road’, though I haven’t read any of it today, continues to intrigue me and definitely keeps a person hooked as it nears the end. "Where is this all going?" I keep asking myself. I envy the life of the characters. More so because they are based on actual people and events. Ah, the smell of sweet freedom.
It may sound silly, but I remember when I used to be awake. I have complained for years now that I have just moved through the motions, half asleep. This erratic feeling of excitement within me is almost like a mocking taste of someone I used to be. It makes me feel awake. Maybe I am overanalytical but I just don’t feel "awake" ever. It always takes days and weeks for things to even register in my head. My chipper-ness today will translate to a heaven-like euphoria a few weeks from now when I look back.
I’d give anything to have the rest of the week off.
It started when I felt accomplished with all I took care of this morning. Then I whipped out the chunk of watermelon I got from my parents and sliced it up and happily offered some two to of my coworkers. Then I talked to the woman whose laptop I was rebuilding on the phone and finished it up so she could come pick it up. She just did and I was extra nice to her. Now I am swapping out a PC for this accounting woman who I usually get very angry at because of her accent and the heavy doses of perfume she wears, but I’ll be damned if I am not as cordial as a priest on Sunday.
As usual I feel like it’s all teetering in the balance and at any moment Dearest will come up and light my fuse. Especially since, once I get this other machine swapped, I really won’t have much to do in the way of looking busy. It’s key around here, more so than actual accomplishments, that I "look" as busy as possible as much as possible.
Lexapro my ass. This is the best I’ve felt since I started feeling all this "goodness" last week. It feels like it’s almost uninhibited goodness. It always comes when I am tired though so I wonder if it’s a form of delirium.
Why is the banana I got from my mom more edible than the ones I pick?? Mine go from green to black in about 10 hours. The one she gave me is perfectly ripe. Is it a mother thing?
Bombs are exploding, people are losing their heads and I still managed to feel okay today. This is quite a big deal. Especially since less than a day ago I was looking at the photographs of that Paul Johnson guy and his severed head I found on Wikipedia.
I really want to go to Paris this week too. I was reading up on the definition of a bohemian as well, and it just gave me that itch to satiate my artistic side. It led me back to Oscar Wilde in a round about way, and made me want to get back to reading that biography of his I put down after several chapters over the spring.
’On The Road’, though I haven’t read any of it today, continues to intrigue me and definitely keeps a person hooked as it nears the end. "Where is this all going?" I keep asking myself. I envy the life of the characters. More so because they are based on actual people and events. Ah, the smell of sweet freedom.
It may sound silly, but I remember when I used to be awake. I have complained for years now that I have just moved through the motions, half asleep. This erratic feeling of excitement within me is almost like a mocking taste of someone I used to be. It makes me feel awake. Maybe I am overanalytical but I just don’t feel "awake" ever. It always takes days and weeks for things to even register in my head. My chipper-ness today will translate to a heaven-like euphoria a few weeks from now when I look back.
I’d give anything to have the rest of the week off.