I think I need to switch ob/gyn practices
Cut below for sensitivity
I've been seeing my ob/gyn for about a year, year and a half maybe. Last August I became pregnant with my first child, and she was the one who had to break the news to me and my husband that the pregnancy was going wrong, and that it would probably end, which it did on 9/28 when I began bleeding heavily and passing tissue. I had to have a D&C, which was done at the same hospital my ob/gyn's practice is located at. When I went in for my post-miscarriage follow up I almost fell apart in the office, because it was just too raw and painful, but I thought that the pain was related to the purpose of the visit.
Today I had my first annual exam since the miscarriage. It was, from start to finish, hard. When the receptionist asked me if I was there for an ultrasound, I felt like I'd been slapped, and I whispered "I'm not pregnant....anymore." She apologize and explained that they also did pelvic ultrasounds, but I teared up just the same. It was hard to be that waiting room where I'd been so happy, my hand held protectively over my uterus the same way I saw other pregnant women sitting today. It was hard to be in one of their identical examining rooms and remember how much it had hurt to hear that my child wasn't going to make it. It hurt to see my ob's face. It hurt to hear her casually mention that losing weight would help with my fertility (true, but my twisted emotional state translated it as "you're fat and that's why you miscarried..."
Am I just oversensitive? Has anyone else had to change practices because of too many negative emotional associations? It's probably worth mentioning that I was contemplating switching before I got pregnant because I felt like my ob could be more size-friendly, and that we didn't really ever "click."
Thanks...I needed to vent
xposted to making_babies
I've been seeing my ob/gyn for about a year, year and a half maybe. Last August I became pregnant with my first child, and she was the one who had to break the news to me and my husband that the pregnancy was going wrong, and that it would probably end, which it did on 9/28 when I began bleeding heavily and passing tissue. I had to have a D&C, which was done at the same hospital my ob/gyn's practice is located at. When I went in for my post-miscarriage follow up I almost fell apart in the office, because it was just too raw and painful, but I thought that the pain was related to the purpose of the visit.
Today I had my first annual exam since the miscarriage. It was, from start to finish, hard. When the receptionist asked me if I was there for an ultrasound, I felt like I'd been slapped, and I whispered "I'm not pregnant....anymore." She apologize and explained that they also did pelvic ultrasounds, but I teared up just the same. It was hard to be that waiting room where I'd been so happy, my hand held protectively over my uterus the same way I saw other pregnant women sitting today. It was hard to be in one of their identical examining rooms and remember how much it had hurt to hear that my child wasn't going to make it. It hurt to see my ob's face. It hurt to hear her casually mention that losing weight would help with my fertility (true, but my twisted emotional state translated it as "you're fat and that's why you miscarried..."
Am I just oversensitive? Has anyone else had to change practices because of too many negative emotional associations? It's probably worth mentioning that I was contemplating switching before I got pregnant because I felt like my ob could be more size-friendly, and that we didn't really ever "click."
Thanks...I needed to vent
xposted to making_babies