OOOOOOOOOOOLIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?

*Scratches at her stomach through her t-shirt with a frown* Where the HELL is my husband when I want to bitch?! YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE IN MY FIRING LINE AT ALL TIMES!

*Rests her head on her hand and sighs, stirring her cup of tea far too many times than necessary*

*apparates into St Mungo's, looking around and shouting* Somebody help me. It's my, Son. It's his appendage. Hurry!! Please!

*Clutches his stomach with a pained gasp and holds himself up on the bathroom door frame, trying to breathe slowly through the pain* Oh fuck… this isn’t good… this isn’t fucking good… just a few more steps…

Fuck!

*Hurries into the kitchen* Molly! I don't know what to do! I need your help! Do you know where Sirius is? Oh shit, I can't believe this is happening today!

*Rubs her tired eyes* No one is here yet, are they?

Morning, Molly! *Gives her a quick kiss on the cheek* Is Siri up? Do you know if he got any owls this morning?

*Sneaks up behind his Mum and taps her on the shoulder*

HI MUM!

*Wanders back into the now almost-empty living room and sinks down on the sofa next to Siri*

He's completely out of it. *Laughs* You could move this sound system into the bedroom and he wouldn't stir.

*Tries to adjust himself in the leather pants and huffs in annoyance as he goes into the main living room to look for Ali*

Ali, I-

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?! That is not... no. No, no, no!

*Turns to leave again*

*Apparates into the foyer half-dressed*

What did I do?! What did I do?!