Crude but Brilliant - Real TV & Radio Double Entendres
Sorry, sources are so varied I'm not listing them All guaranteed real, some really quite subtle.
Michael Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UKeclipse coverage remarked:"They
seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's just come in
his shorts.
Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes
to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."
Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."
Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World
superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet
he wished he had a hard on now."
Chris Tarrant discussing the firstM illionaire winner Judith Keppel on
This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in
bed last night."
Winning Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's
formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes
what he sees."
Ross King discussing relays with champion relay runner Phil
Redmond: "Well
Phil tell us about your amazing third leg."
Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durhamv Lancashire,
inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he
just tossed it off."
Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night
like this."
James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:
"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Rubens
Barrichello?"
Steve Ryder covering the USMasters: "Ballesteros felt much better
today after a 69."
Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big
race when he said:"They usually have four or five dreams a nightabout
coming from different positions."
Steve Leonard, talking about vegetation on Vets In The Wild, told
Trude:"There's something big growing between my legs."
Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live
said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."
A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed
and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked,"So Bob, where's that
eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to
leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing
so hard!
Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse.
I once rode her mother."
New ZealandRugbyCommentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl
Gibson comes inside of him."
Pat Glenn - Weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from
Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"
Michael Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UKeclipse coverage remarked:"They
seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's just come in
his shorts.
Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes
to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."
Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."
Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World
superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet
he wished he had a hard on now."
Chris Tarrant discussing the firstM illionaire winner Judith Keppel on
This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in
bed last night."
Winning Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's
formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes
what he sees."
Ross King discussing relays with champion relay runner Phil
Redmond: "Well
Phil tell us about your amazing third leg."
Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durhamv Lancashire,
inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he
just tossed it off."
Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night
like this."
James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:
"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Rubens
Barrichello?"
Steve Ryder covering the USMasters: "Ballesteros felt much better
today after a 69."
Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big
race when he said:"They usually have four or five dreams a nightabout
coming from different positions."
Steve Leonard, talking about vegetation on Vets In The Wild, told
Trude:"There's something big growing between my legs."
Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live
said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."
A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed
and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked,"So Bob, where's that
eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to
leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing
so hard!
Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse.
I once rode her mother."
New ZealandRugbyCommentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl
Gibson comes inside of him."
Pat Glenn - Weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from
Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"